Topic: Would you leave your girlfriend/boyfriend if your relationship was like this?
Anonymous A started this discussion 14 years ago#24,110
I've been in a relationship for the past 9 months or so now. It's with a girl I met at work and she had a crush on me and she initiated the relationship. I had recently been hurt by a woman who had basically used me for sex and then dumped me and the idea of someone loving me and taking interest in me lifted me up out of despair and made my life happy and wonderful.
The friction started I guess when she kept bringing up the topic of moving in with her. I'm in my early 20's and haven't got much money, still finishing up college. I explained to her that I'm not financially ready to move out yet and that if we do move in together I want us to have a solid financial foundation and not be arguing about money all the time, etc. She said at first that she was okay and she was willing to wait as long as it takes.
Fast forward several months and she lets me know that she was lying about being prepared to wait. I also occasionally like to crossdress and I told her about this very early in the relationship and she said she was accepting of that too. But last night she told me she can't stand it and she only said she accepted it to make me happy. This made me feel very hurt.
So basically it makes me feel like the entire relationship has been based on lies. The first six months or so were great - we were both all loving like a couple should be, but the past few months she's been getting increasingly distant and cold. I'll say "I love you" and she won't say it back.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 27 minutes later[^][v]#374,455
dont kid yourself, nobody here would leave their bf/gf if they ever managed to get one
Anonymous B double-posted this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 30 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,456
also dont base your idea of a relationship on shit you see on tv
everybody's an asshole deep down, deal with it
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 12 minutes later, 42 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,457
@374,455 (B) > dont kid yourself, nobody here would leave their bf/gf if they ever managed to get one
They're easier to get than you would think. Even Green has had girlfriends and he's hardly a player. @previous (B) > also dont base your idea of a relationship on shit you see on tv > everybody's an asshole deep down, deal with it
I'm well aware of this. I'm not looking for a perfect TV relationship; I know it doesn't exist. What I want to know is, is it worth trying to salvage a relationship based on lies?
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 45 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,458
@previous (A)
the relationship isn't 'based on lies' unless your hang-ups are the basis of your relationship
they aren't
she probably doesn't say she loves you because she doesn't
your relationship is dead if you're making this topic
Handle !tYHPZ2dvu6 joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 50 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,459
Reread your OP. If someone else posted that, what advice would you give them?
(Edited 55 seconds later.)
Green joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 52 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,461
Stick a cactus up your lubed bum.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 54 seconds later, 53 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,462
@374,458 (C) > she probably doesn't say she loves you because she doesn't
I feel like I love her still but she doesnt love me anymore. > your relationship is dead if you're making this topic
Is it possible to revive a dead relationship or is love only a one-time thing?
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 57 minutes after the original post[^][v]#374,464
@previous (A)
It's possible, but it sounds like it'd be better to give it a rest in your situation. She wants to live with you. You don't want to live with her. She's being cold.
You should be having this discussion with her.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#374,466
@previous (C)
I've tried but she has this weird thing where she wont talk about anything serious face to face but she will on text. I hate trying to have serious conversations/arguments over text cause I don't like trying to type out lots of crap on a tiny little keyboard.
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#374,467
@previous (A)
That's not a 'weird thing', it's a communication issue.
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 43 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^][v]#374,478
I've dropped girls for less (she didn't let me go to the skatepark for a few days, wanted me to spend all my time with her...)
All in all, if she isn't supportive with thing you love doing, judge for yourself. Are you willing to stop crossdressing so you could be with her?
When I saw how she flipped out when I wanted to do something I love, after all the days of doing what she wanted... I dropped her like a hot potato and went to shred the skatepark...