Minichan

Topic: FAO: Ladies

Anonymous A started this discussion 14 years ago #23,836

You break up with your significant other, and it's been about a month since then. Now things are going really well between the two of you, and it looks like you're going to get back together (hooray! <3). So you get a new phone and start texting your ex (although soon to be partner), but don't tell him who you are. Then he thinks you're somebody else that he knew before the two of you started. You continue talking to your ex to see where he'll go with this, and he ends up inviting you to hang out with a group of friends. Then the friends cancel out on him, and he ends up inviting you to see a movie with him. You say you'll go to see if he'd actually do it, and he does, he's there at the movies. (oh no :(.)

A day later he asks you if it was you who texted him from the mysterious number, and you deny it. He asks again later on, and you continue to deny it. However at the same time he is lying to you, and not making any mention of inviting this person to the movies. You're only lying to him to see if he'll confess, and show remorse. He does not.

A few days later you reveal to him the truth, that it was you the entire time. He calls you a "conniving bitch", and "manipulative", he is angry. Although he later on apologizes for his actions.

Okay, what is your reaction?

P. S. If you're a guy you can also post in this thread.

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Green joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later[^] [v] #371,370

That's it. You've crossed the fucking line now.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 44 seconds later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,371

@previous (Green)

What, really?

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 10 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,373

@previous (A)

I know what you're doing and it's not going to work.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,374

@previous (Green)

What are you talking about, bud?

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,375

@previous (A)

You're showing your true colours now. Everyone can see you.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 14 minutes later, 28 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,376

@previous (Green)

What true colors?

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 33 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,377

@previous (A)

Look. It's a heartbreaking decision and I may cry before I push the button, but it is the only way.

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,379

@371,376 (A)
Just ignore him. He's a weirdo.

★henn★ joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 10 minutes later, 50 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,382

@OP
That was very manipulative. Also, you guys aren't even technically back together yet, he's keeping his options open. I don't even see how he lied to you about anything.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 54 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,383

@previous (★henn★)
He lied by saying he went to the movies by himself. Also he stated that he had no intention of doing anything sexual with the mystery girl.

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 56 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #371,385

@371,379 (C)
Had dated for over a year, expressed love, affection, and marriage intention. He tries to meet someone at a movie theater. That's grounds for just taking him out of your life completely?

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,386

@371,383 (A)
Did he propose after a month?

★henn★ replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,387

@371,383 (A)
Well, you caught him in a lie. I don't like liars and that would probably make me feel a certain way about him. I was going to say maybe he really didn't have any sexual intentions with the false friend, but now am unsure because he could be lying. Still very manipulative though.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,389

Lies and manipulation like this are severely bad. Dump the fucker.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,391

@371,387 (★henn★)

You're misunderstanding who I am. I'm the boy in this situation. I'm telling you that I had no intention of doing anything sexual with the person I was going to meet at the movies. I felt bad about trying to meet a girl though, because I knew that would upset my ex (who was probably going to get back together with me). I decided to keep that information from her because I felt that it would only hurt her. I should have just confessed though, I feel bad for perpetuating a lie.

@371,386 (Green) I never directly proposed, but after about a number of months (nearly a year) into dating her I made it clear that I wanted to marry her one day.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,392

@371,389 (E)

Who's dumping whom? And who is manipulating whom? After I found out that it was my ex who was the mystery person on the phone, I was angry, and felt manipulated. However soon that wore off, and now I'm miserable because she doesn't even want to associate with me at all. I feel horrible about this entire thing, and I feel like I really fucked up. I'm a very sorry person.

★henn★ replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,393

@371,391 (A)
You don't deserve her.

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 27 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,394

@371,391 (A)
What other words did you use besides conniving bitch? Why are you so hateful to her at every turn?

Doesn't matter if you had intentions of doing anything sexual, you knew it would hurt her.

I really think you're NPD.

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 54 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,395

@371,392 (A)

No you're not. You are a wonderful person. We are all good people.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,399

@371,393 (★henn★)

I know. But I love her so much, if there was any way I could fix things, I would.

@371,394 (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)
Honestly, I don't hate her at all. I feel like a shit for what I did, and I felt bad for her calling the things that I call her. I knew it would hurt her, and I felt horrible for doing it. I make a lot of mistakes. The fact is that she's a wonderful person who's sweet, and kind to me, and I ruin it by an asshole. I love her so much, and I ruined everything.

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,400

@previous (A)
I'm sure it could be forgiven if not for the fact that you're always doing shit like this, then feeling super duper suicidal bad. I'm sorry you feel poorly that your supply is running out. You'll find another!

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 15 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,401

@371,395 (Green)

No, I hurt the one person I truly love in life, of course I'm a sorry person.

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,402

@previous (A)
I have done the same. That's why I break mirrors.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,404

@371,400 (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)

The intention of this thread was to get a perspective on the situation from others. I've never gone to the movies with a girl, or tried to actually. I do lie periodically though, and am kind of a dick. Okay, a lot a dick . The hard part is for me though, is that I can no longer say that I'm a good boyfriend or even a good person without lying to myself. If she did the things to me that I did to her I'd be upset too, very much so. I don't know what's going to happen between the two of us, but the thought of losing her forever is quite devastating to me. Ultimately though I want her to be happy, and if I can't make her happy, if I've screwed up that bad (which I possibly have) then I hope she can find someone who does.

It isn't about narcissistic supply, I actually do love and care about this person.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,407

@previous (A)

You are not a bad person. In 10 years time you will look back on this and you will not cry.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,409

@previous (Green)

Maybe I'm not a bad person, but I've certainly done some pretty bad things, and I regret them quite a bit.

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,410

@previous (A)

That's in the past. Nobody is going to get revenge on you, or hold a grudge. You will be ok.

★henn★ replied with this 14 years ago, 49 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,411

@371,407 (Green)
He will still be crying himself to sleep.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,413

@371,410 (Green)

I appreciate that, but I'm not worried about someone holding a grudge, or seeking revenge. That's not the point. The point is that I hurt someone, and I feel bad for hurting them. What they do in return is secondary to the fact that I hurt them. But yeah, eventually I will probably be okay. Though I don't think she'll ever leave my heart, or my dreams. (Sorry that last part was so sappy.)

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,417

@371,411 (★henn★)

Who knows man. Maybe. At this point I'm just trying to think of some way to make it up to her. I've done a terrible thing, and I want to try to fix things as much as I can.

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,419

@371,413 (A)
You should write your bad feelings on a piece of paper and set fire to it in the bath. It's ok if you cry, it helps.

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #371,420

@371,404 (A)
lol, ok

This was my favorite so far: http://minichan.org/topic/23030

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,422

@previous (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)

Okay, but see, in this thread, I'm just saying something that happened. And also admitting to a fault. I'm not faulting her at all, in fact I understand the decision she's made. I do really feel this is all my doing, and it is.

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,424

@previous (A)
You're saying her reaction is unwarranted ( http://minichan.org/topic/23836#reply_371385 ), the same way you are dismissive and contemptuous of her all the time. You know she's reading and you're just manipulating her like always, but god forbid she catch you lying.

And ffs, you had no idea it was her? How retarded are you, exactly?

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 18 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,434

@previous (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)
No, I am not dismissive and contemptuous of her all the time. The only time I'm even upset with her is when she's upset with me. I know I fuck up, and do bad things. I feel like a shit about this, I'm in the wrong, what's hard to understand about that?

I don't think her reaction is unwarranted actually, it just makes me very sad.

And pretty retarded.

Honestly, I don't think I deserve her at all. You're right, I am manipulative, and a total asshole a lot of the time. I wish I wasn't, I wish I wasn't such a fuck up, and a liar. I know it's a matter of changing myself, but that's a little too much too late. I lost someone I value greatly, and it's all my fault.

(Edited 6 minutes later.)

TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 42 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,435

I don't know who of you two is the bigger idiot.
Texting him from a mystery number... I take "What is trust" for 200!
And dude, couldn't you have said "I knew it was you, and I was sad when you didn't show up in the cinema."

I'm 12 and what is this.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,437

@previous (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)

lolnope I'm a fucking idiot, and said "I think you're Katie", Katie being a girl who I hadn't talk to in a couple of years.

TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,439

@previous (A)
Even then, when she confessed you could have been "HA I KNEW IT!!" "I was playing along to see where you're going with this" bla bla...

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,445

I'm here for you. We all are.

★henn★ replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,450

Hold my hand

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,452

@371,439 (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)

Could have, maybe. Hindsight's 20/20 though. Also she's not an idiot, and wouldn't have fallen for that shit.

@371,445 (Green)
Green, I don't think that's the case. I think a lot of people are in agreement that I deserve everything that's coming to me. I'm one of those people. Thank you for your support though, you're a cool guy.

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,453

@previous (A)
Green looks good in a wig. You should date him.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,455

@previous (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)

I don't want to date him, or anyone else. Thanks.

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,457

@371,452 (A)

If you want to punch a wall, you can. I don't advise it but it helps vent feelings. I used to punch Jesus' chairs but he has forgiven me.

buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 32 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,466

This seems like an ugly thing to do. I mean, you weren't even dating again yet.

Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,482

you weren't dating and you deceived him in to create a situation that you could bitch about
you are a total bitch

Cupcake joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 39 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,492

Last Friday night I told him I was getting a new phone and that my dad was at the phone store buying it at that very moment. Fast forward half an hour or so, and I text him from my new phone. I assumed he would realize it was me.

squeegee !first/o5zA joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 22 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,493

@previous (Cupcake)
were you two actually back together at that point, or were you merely discussing it?
if you weren't actually exclusive then he did nothing wrong. for all he knew you could still be manipulative.

@371,383 (A)
like here, he did go to the movie by himself because the mystery girl didn't show. she was fabricated

anyway, the way to get him back might have to be through murder.

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 46 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,495

@371,482 (I)
Hey, don't call her a bitch.

@371,492 (Cupcake)

Yeah, well you should realize how much of a dumb ass I am. I made a huge mistake, and I'm sorry I hurt you.


@previous (squeegee !first/o5zA)
Well, I maintained that I had no plans of going with anyone to her. I did in fact lie. Also we weren't officially together, but it was pretty obvious we were going to be together soon. Enough so that I knew that meeting someone at the movies would be a poor choice.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

Anonymous I replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,496

@previous (A)
none of this is even like
remotely
a substantial issue
you are babies

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,499

@previous (I)
Okay, smartypants, what do you suggest be done about this?

Green replied with this 14 years ago, 11 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,500

@371,495 (A)

It's ok. You'll get through this. I'll be up all night if you want to talk.

Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 55 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,501

@371,394 (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)
> NPD
This.

doctor dreamworks md !jdTkvovFCQ joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,503

@371,499 (A)
ignore
done

Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,504

@371,501 (L)
In what way do I seem like I have NPD? I mean I'm blaming myself here. Pretty obvious that I'm not narcissistic. I'm at fault.

Anonymous A (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 31 seconds later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,505

@371,503 (doctor dreamworks md !jdTkvovFCQ)
Just act like it never happened?

★henn★ replied with this 14 years ago, 17 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,508

@371,496 (I)
babies makin babies

doctor dreamworks md !jdTkvovFCQ replied with this 14 years ago, 41 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,523

@371,505 (A)
that is indeed what ignore means!

beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc replied with this 14 years ago, 20 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,526

@371,495 (A)
So you can call her a bitch, but no one else can? You are so weird.

Handle !tYHPZ2dvu6 joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 8 hours later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #371,647

@OP

That cumslut intentionally tried to trick you.
Do you have autism or something? Ditch the bitch.

(Edited 31 seconds later.)

Carebear joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,701

> confessed
lmao

don't do shit like that if you can't handle keeping it a secret.

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 4 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,781

@371,526 (beckyderp !CaTLdYmooc)
Well, no, I considered me doing that a bad thing.

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 56 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,786

@371,647 (Handle !tYHPZ2dvu6)
I don't believe she intentionally tried to trick me. I also will tell you that she is not in fact a cumslut. She's a nice lady.

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) triple-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,787

@371,523 (doctor dreamworks md !jdTkvovFCQ)
Yeah, that's definitely what I'd like to happen. But it takes 2 to not do anything.

Handle !tYHPZ2dvu6 replied with this 14 years ago, 29 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,788

@371,786 (postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)

> I don't believe she intentionally tried to trick me.

LOL OK!

Syntax joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,791

@371,787 (postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
We have discussed this over and over. Dude there are a lot of positive life lessons to be learned here for you to go forward n not fuck up again.

Burning bridges in relationships or work or with friends NEVER has anything but a downside. You cannot be mean and nasty with words and expect the other party to just forget you ever said them.

You also cannot be dishonest and then expect to get away without Consequence of Actions. We all make Mistrakes. Its best when we grow the fuck up and stop repeating them.

Dude I sure repeated a few mistrakes in relationships - Then looked to see why, got some help and have not repeated a mistrake since (one small exception of a few weeks)

Heal dude and let her move on and you move on. It will get better but with this type of shit you are tossing all of US? Not helpful. Sure we are here for YOU TO VENT. But maybe write out your post n replies and count to 10 and re-read and ASK - AM I going to make an ass of myself in front of everyone?

Crying tears in front of us all is OK - Not ok to continue the way you are going with this. Just telling you how I see it dude. Healing after a break up is the same as healing after serious surgery. I copypasta my message so as it sinks in one day OK?

(Edited 31 seconds later.)

doctor dreamworks md !jdTkvovFCQ replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,843

@371,787 (postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
ignore better

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 29 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #371,852

@371,791 (Syntax)

I was only responding to what dreamworks suggested there. If it was up to me, I would just let the problem go away. But I can't make cupcake do that. So I have to do something else. (IE move on, even if that's difficult for me.)

(Edited 36 seconds later.)

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