Minichan

I don't know why I am doing this. I should hate you. I want to hate you. Why, when it comes to you, I fucking can't?! Why can't I just drop you like you oh-so-fucking easily like you have me so many times? WHY do you stay in my heart and why do I love you(non-romantic)? Why do I even care if you even exist? You can drop me with you stupid lion like prowess and move on to the next thing like I am not a damn bit worth your time until you feel sorry for me. WHY SHOULD YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO FEEL SORRY FOR ME?! I HAVE A GREAT LIFE! Why can't I make myself forget you? You have forgotten me a million times. And that bullshit of hiding me from [redacted]. You are REALLY fucking lucky I am not a vindictive bitch and show her proof we have been talking. You are LUCKY I care... ha.. I FUCKING CARE if YOU are happy. You may have cared at one point about me being happy, about being my friend, but you don't now. I don't think you have since I moved to [redacted], Mr. " I don't need you to be happy ". Who the FUCK says that to someone then fucking dissappears for YEARS? Why.. WHY do I even care to type this? I doubt I am going to even fucking send this. Maybe I needed to vent. God you are an asshole. YOU FUCKING STRUNG ME ALONG FOR YEARS. YOU DATED [redacted] AND I AT THE SAME TIME!! WAS I A PITY RELATIONSHIP?! HUH?! FUCK YOU. You had NO right to use me like that. Why the FUCK did I love you? Even freaking someone else who is dear to both of us agrees. Fucking asshole. Was a mastabatory tool for your teenage dirt bag cockstain self? Was I a way to emotionally get away from the world?! Was that whole " dream " thing with the dagger a lie?! HMMMM?? Fuck you, you aren't a lion. You're a fucking skunk in lion clothes. I don't fucking care if you get pissy, send [redacted] after me, or bitch me out for this. THIS WAS A LONG FUCKING TIME COMING. All these years, before [redacted], before [redacted], before [redacted]... I fucking loved and adored you. As family, a lover long ago, a friend, A BEST FRIEND. I GOT IN SO MUCH FUCKING TROUBLE OVER YOU. YOU WERE SUCH A FUCKING STAND IN MY LIFE MY GRANDMOTHER THOUGHT YOU AND I STILL TALKED WHEN SHE DIED AND ASKED ABOUT YOU. SHE WOULD CONFUSE [redacted] FOR YOU THINKING YOU FINALLY CAME TO VISIT SINCE SHE FORGOT HOW YOU LOOKED FROM THE PICTURES I SHOWED HER! God. Why the FUCK... UGH! This isn't fair. You fucking hurt me, and you have no real remorse. I do, SINCERLY hope you are happy in your marriage. I DO care if you are alive and well. Why do I get to cry and still miss you as my friend, when all you do is not care? I don't need you in my life to live. But fuck, when I was under the delusion that you cared... I wanted you there. Not so sure about now. Heh. After this, you more than likely will bitch me out, call me psycho and block me. Know what? Do it. I feel a million times better now. Maybe now I can stop caring about how you are. Maybe I can take our dear friends advice and just leave you in the dust, not like you want me anyways. Whelp. I am going back to the furthest part of your memories. I prolly won't even remember writing all this, seeing as I am drunk. Good-Fucking-Night.