Topic: Do you know anyone who has all of these attributes?
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 started this discussion 14 years ago #23,307
Danger signs
1) Insensitivity for others/emphasis on self - Does this person put his wants above the needs, feelings or well being of others? Is getting his way more important to him than other people's welfare? Often this can go beyond mere selfishness and border nearly on an "assumed divine right." Often these people will justify a particularly vicious action with a flip comment like, "Hey, that's how the game is played." Such a person has no understanding that he must co-exist with others. Because he simply exists he thinks the world "owes" him whatever he wants. A common tactic of such a person it to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.
2) Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others - Does this person habitually make nasty, belittling or degrading comments about others – especially under the guise of joking? Does this person think he is better than others? Does he look down on others? A nouveau riche aristocrat? Is he a racist? A person who thinks that race or social position makes him superior can also assume gender does too. When you think you are superior, an assumed right to ‘take’ what you want often follows.
3) Negating behavior or comments - Closely related to 1 and 2. Does he try to tell you what you are feeling or thinking? Or worse, tell you what you are not? Comments like "you don’t really mean that" are serious indicators of someone trying to negate you. A person who negates others is trying to take away the other person’s thoughts, feelings and needs and attempting to project his wants onto that person. The most obvious example of this is "Well even though she said ‘no’, she really meant ‘yes’".
4) Hostile and/or threatening language - What words does a person use? Choice of words convey subconscious assumptions about a particular topic. For example a man who generically refers to women as "bitches" does not have good assumptions about females (or much respect). It is all too easy to dismiss this behavior as just "blowing off steam." But if it is a constant behavior, it goes far beyond that. Someone who habitually uses violent or threatening language should be carefully watched for possible escalation. It’s on his mind already. It’s a uncomfortably short step from ‘thinking about’ to ‘doing’.
5) Bullying - This behavior is especially dangerous. Does this person use overt or subtle threats to get his way? A bully uses the threat of violence more than actual violence. Most often bullies are not willing to risk conflict with someone who can hurt them (an alpha male), and will instead chose to intimidate someone he considers weaker and safer. Someone who is bullying over other matters can easily turn to bullying you regarding sex.
6) Excessive anger - How easy does this person anger? Is he a "Short Fuse"? Does he boil over at the slightest problem? This is an indication of chronic anger. A person who explodes over a minor issue is like a full pot boiling over on the stove. It’s not that the issue is all that important, but that he has so much anger already, any more causes him to explode. Often people with chronic anger look for targets to vent their anger at. This could manifest as physical fights, abuse, or rape.
7) Brooding/ revenge - Does this person hang onto his anger long after the situation is over? Will he still be stewing over something while everyone else has moved onto other things? Will he become anti-social and glare at the source of his anger from across the room? Will he insist on taking revenge for real or imagined slights? Both indicate a petty and obsessive personality. A brooder fixates on something and then works himself into a frenzy over it. A person who seeks revenge "has to win" and is willing to take it to extremes. Refusing such a person’s sexual advances can turn this tendency towards you.
8) Obsession – This is a close cousin to number seven. It is a major factor with acquaintance rapes. This is the person who won’t leave you alone. He insists on ‘hitting on you’ long after you have told him no. He is always trying establish forced intimacy (see ‘bonding process’ below). Such obsessions easily turn into anger when his advances are rejected. One day he shows up in a fringe area, drunk and attacks.
9) Extreme mood swings - Beware someone who can go from wildly happy to deeply wounded at a moment's notice. This sort of personality can feel justified to commit an unlimited amount of violence and damage, because you "hurt his feelings." This is a common pattern among those with chronic anger about life.
10) Physical tantrums - How does this person get angry? Especially when denied "getting his way". Beware of a person who regularly physically assaults his environment i.e. hitting walls, kicking things etc. It is only a short step from striking a car to attacking you.
11) Jock or gorilla mentality - This mentality promotes both acceptance and encouragement for the use of violence. It is especially common among participants of contact sports. What is most insidious about this mentality is the "jock" receives, not only positive reinforcement, but out-and-out applause for being aggressive and violent. This can easily lead to a failure to differentiate between the playing field and real life. Mike Tyson’s comment is a prime example: "Nobody ever objected before."
12) A mean drunk - Nearly all rape and abuse cases involve alcohol. Watch what surfaces when someone is intoxicated. It shows what is always lurking underneath. Do not put yourself into a situation where you would deal with such a person while he is intoxicated. Most importantly, don't allow your facilities to be diminished by alcohol or drugs in this person's presence.
13) Alcohol or drug abuse - To begin with drug and alcohol addiction can in be traced back to selfishness and a refusal to change one’s world view. Alcohol and drugs are not the cause of bad behavior, rather they are used as an excuse! Often the attacker intentionally became intoxicated to ignore the social restrictions and inhibitions regarding violence.
1) Insensitivity for others/emphasis on self - Does this person put his wants above the needs, feelings or well being of others? Is getting his way more important to him than other people's welfare? Often this can go beyond mere selfishness and border nearly on an "assumed divine right." Often these people will justify a particularly vicious action with a flip comment like, "Hey, that's how the game is played." Such a person has no understanding that he must co-exist with others. Because he simply exists he thinks the world "owes" him whatever he wants. A common tactic of such a person it to make you feel bad for not doing what he wants.
2) Belittling behavior or attitudes towards others - Does this person habitually make nasty, belittling or degrading comments about others – especially under the guise of joking? Does this person think he is better than others? Does he look down on others? A nouveau riche aristocrat? Is he a racist? A person who thinks that race or social position makes him superior can also assume gender does too. When you think you are superior, an assumed right to ‘take’ what you want often follows.
3) Negating behavior or comments - Closely related to 1 and 2. Does he try to tell you what you are feeling or thinking? Or worse, tell you what you are not? Comments like "you don’t really mean that" are serious indicators of someone trying to negate you. A person who negates others is trying to take away the other person’s thoughts, feelings and needs and attempting to project his wants onto that person. The most obvious example of this is "Well even though she said ‘no’, she really meant ‘yes’".
4) Hostile and/or threatening language - What words does a person use? Choice of words convey subconscious assumptions about a particular topic. For example a man who generically refers to women as "bitches" does not have good assumptions about females (or much respect). It is all too easy to dismiss this behavior as just "blowing off steam." But if it is a constant behavior, it goes far beyond that. Someone who habitually uses violent or threatening language should be carefully watched for possible escalation. It’s on his mind already. It’s a uncomfortably short step from ‘thinking about’ to ‘doing’.
5) Bullying - This behavior is especially dangerous. Does this person use overt or subtle threats to get his way? A bully uses the threat of violence more than actual violence. Most often bullies are not willing to risk conflict with someone who can hurt them (an alpha male), and will instead chose to intimidate someone he considers weaker and safer. Someone who is bullying over other matters can easily turn to bullying you regarding sex.
6) Excessive anger - How easy does this person anger? Is he a "Short Fuse"? Does he boil over at the slightest problem? This is an indication of chronic anger. A person who explodes over a minor issue is like a full pot boiling over on the stove. It’s not that the issue is all that important, but that he has so much anger already, any more causes him to explode. Often people with chronic anger look for targets to vent their anger at. This could manifest as physical fights, abuse, or rape.
7) Brooding/ revenge - Does this person hang onto his anger long after the situation is over? Will he still be stewing over something while everyone else has moved onto other things? Will he become anti-social and glare at the source of his anger from across the room? Will he insist on taking revenge for real or imagined slights? Both indicate a petty and obsessive personality. A brooder fixates on something and then works himself into a frenzy over it. A person who seeks revenge "has to win" and is willing to take it to extremes. Refusing such a person’s sexual advances can turn this tendency towards you.
8) Obsession – This is a close cousin to number seven. It is a major factor with acquaintance rapes. This is the person who won’t leave you alone. He insists on ‘hitting on you’ long after you have told him no. He is always trying establish forced intimacy (see ‘bonding process’ below). Such obsessions easily turn into anger when his advances are rejected. One day he shows up in a fringe area, drunk and attacks.
9) Extreme mood swings - Beware someone who can go from wildly happy to deeply wounded at a moment's notice. This sort of personality can feel justified to commit an unlimited amount of violence and damage, because you "hurt his feelings." This is a common pattern among those with chronic anger about life.
10) Physical tantrums - How does this person get angry? Especially when denied "getting his way". Beware of a person who regularly physically assaults his environment i.e. hitting walls, kicking things etc. It is only a short step from striking a car to attacking you.
11) Jock or gorilla mentality - This mentality promotes both acceptance and encouragement for the use of violence. It is especially common among participants of contact sports. What is most insidious about this mentality is the "jock" receives, not only positive reinforcement, but out-and-out applause for being aggressive and violent. This can easily lead to a failure to differentiate between the playing field and real life. Mike Tyson’s comment is a prime example: "Nobody ever objected before."
12) A mean drunk - Nearly all rape and abuse cases involve alcohol. Watch what surfaces when someone is intoxicated. It shows what is always lurking underneath. Do not put yourself into a situation where you would deal with such a person while he is intoxicated. Most importantly, don't allow your facilities to be diminished by alcohol or drugs in this person's presence.
13) Alcohol or drug abuse - To begin with drug and alcohol addiction can in be traced back to selfishness and a refusal to change one’s world view. Alcohol and drugs are not the cause of bad behavior, rather they are used as an excuse! Often the attacker intentionally became intoxicated to ignore the social restrictions and inhibitions regarding violence.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #364,419
Matthew Miller.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 15 minutes later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,424
protip !!pMmAiEwOm joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 23 minutes later, 40 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,437
(◣_◢)┌∩┠!ZZZYzLybAc joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 44 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,439
Some might say that I am most of those attributes.
(◣_◢)┌∩┠!ZZZYzLybAc double-posted this 14 years ago, 16 seconds later, 44 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,440
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,442
(◣_◢)┌∩┠!ZZZYzLybAc replied with this 14 years ago, 10 minutes later, 59 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #364,445
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,446
Oooh, what are we testing for here? Psychopaths?
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 50 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,447
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 20 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,449
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 35 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,450
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,451
(◣_◢)┌∩┠!ZZZYzLybAc replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,452
@364,447 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
KInd of, Ishot my friend with an airsoft gun in the back of the head because I downed 10 shots worth of hard liquor. Somemight sayt I'm more of an obnoxious drunk.
@364,450 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Oh. I could never be that confrontational. THe worst I'd do is look at a naked girl against her will.
KInd of, Ishot my friend with an airsoft gun in the back of the head because I downed 10 shots worth of hard liquor. Somemight sayt I'm more of an obnoxious drunk.
@364,450 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Oh. I could never be that confrontational. THe worst I'd do is look at a naked girl against her will.
(Edited 42 seconds later.)
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,453
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 46 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,454
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,455
Five Stages of Violent Crime
Intent
By intent, we don't mean that you are a psychic. You cannot read someone's mind. Although the word 'intent' has often been replaced in court with Jeopardy (acting in a way that is consistent with known pre-attack behaviors) we still use the term 'intent' for a simple reason. With this system, intent is not what is going on inside of the person's head.
It's the visible and discernable physiological manifestations that, a person ready to commit violence, will display. This isn't you being psychic. This is his body displaying these signs, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.
This is where the person crosses a normal mental boundary. From this point, the person is mentally and physically prepared to commit violence in order to get what he wants – whatever that may be. Being able to recognize when intent is present is one of the key components of your personal safety. yet, this isn't always easy as you might think. The criminal has often learned how to mask it behind words and feigned innocence. But once you know how to spot the physiological signs, it is easily recognizable. Learn more about intent.
Interview
With all violence, the assailant's safety is a critical factor in deciding whether or not to attack. While in interpersonal violence, the deciding factor may be anger, strong emotion or pride. However, with criminal violence it is more of a conscious decision. This leads us to the interview, where the criminal decides upon your suitability as a victim. There are several kinds of interviews common to criminal attacks
Positioning
This is the criminal putting himself in a place where he can successfully attack you. A criminal (or even a violent person) doesn't want to fight you; he wants to overwhelm you. To do this, he has to put himself in a position where he can do it quickly and effectively. An attempt to develop positioning is the final proof of ill intent. Someone trying to position himself to attack removes all doubt that the situation is innocent. Like the Interview, there are several kinds of Positioning.
Attack
The attack is the when the criminal/violent person commits himself to using force -- or the threat of force -- to get what he wants. Like the other stages there are important distinctions to be made about the kind of attack you will face.
Reaction
Reaction is how the criminal feels about what he has done. However, this is made more complicated by the fact that your reaction is an important contributing factor.
Intent
By intent, we don't mean that you are a psychic. You cannot read someone's mind. Although the word 'intent' has often been replaced in court with Jeopardy (acting in a way that is consistent with known pre-attack behaviors) we still use the term 'intent' for a simple reason. With this system, intent is not what is going on inside of the person's head.
It's the visible and discernable physiological manifestations that, a person ready to commit violence, will display. This isn't you being psychic. This is his body displaying these signs, no matter how hard he tries to hide it.
This is where the person crosses a normal mental boundary. From this point, the person is mentally and physically prepared to commit violence in order to get what he wants – whatever that may be. Being able to recognize when intent is present is one of the key components of your personal safety. yet, this isn't always easy as you might think. The criminal has often learned how to mask it behind words and feigned innocence. But once you know how to spot the physiological signs, it is easily recognizable. Learn more about intent.
Interview
With all violence, the assailant's safety is a critical factor in deciding whether or not to attack. While in interpersonal violence, the deciding factor may be anger, strong emotion or pride. However, with criminal violence it is more of a conscious decision. This leads us to the interview, where the criminal decides upon your suitability as a victim. There are several kinds of interviews common to criminal attacks
Positioning
This is the criminal putting himself in a place where he can successfully attack you. A criminal (or even a violent person) doesn't want to fight you; he wants to overwhelm you. To do this, he has to put himself in a position where he can do it quickly and effectively. An attempt to develop positioning is the final proof of ill intent. Someone trying to position himself to attack removes all doubt that the situation is innocent. Like the Interview, there are several kinds of Positioning.
Attack
The attack is the when the criminal/violent person commits himself to using force -- or the threat of force -- to get what he wants. Like the other stages there are important distinctions to be made about the kind of attack you will face.
Reaction
Reaction is how the criminal feels about what he has done. However, this is made more complicated by the fact that your reaction is an important contributing factor.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) triple-posted this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,456
Ability: Does the person have the ability to attack you? Could this person successfully assault you, whether through physical prowess, a weapon or numerical superiority? Many women underestimate male upper-body strength and how vulnerable they are to being physically overwhelmed.Opportunity: Does this person have the opportunity to attack you? Are you alone with him or even in an area beyond immediate help? Could anyone come to your assistance within twenty seconds or less? As many victims have found, you can be robbed in plain view or raped with people in the next room.
Intent: Is he in a mental place where using violence to get what he wants makes sense to him?
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,457
@364,450 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Must be a specific kind of rapist, then. Not all rapists have all of these characteristics. Is it a specific kind of rapist?
Must be a specific kind of rapist, then. Not all rapists have all of these characteristics. Is it a specific kind of rapist?
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,458
@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
It just says that those are traits common to rapists. What do you mean by specific types of rapists? How many types are there?
It just says that those are traits common to rapists. What do you mean by specific types of rapists? How many types are there?
Syntax joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,459
I suppose I should put my 2cents in OP's topic. There is no one currently on the Net, with more experience on
> The someone who has all of those attributes.
1994-95 and perhaps there is someone like me who had inside views of Charles Manson and other infamous sociopath's.
Profile of the Sociopath
Glibness and Superficial Charm
Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
> The someone who has all of those attributes.
1994-95 and perhaps there is someone like me who had inside views of Charles Manson and other infamous sociopath's.
Profile of the Sociopath
Glibness and Superficial Charm
Pathological Lying
Has no problem lying coolly and easily and it is almost impossible for them to be truthful on a consistent basis. Can create, and get caught up in, a complex belief about their own powers and abilities. Extremely convincing and even able to pass lie detector tests.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Manipulative and Conning
They never recognize the rights of others and see their self-serving behaviors as permissible. They appear to be charming, yet are covertly hostile and domineering, seeing their victim as merely an instrument to be used. They may dominate and humiliate their victims.
Grandiose Sense of Self
Feels entitled to certain things as "their right."
Lack of Remorse, Shame or Guilt
A deep seated rage, which is split off and repressed, is at their core. Does not see others around them as people, but only as targets and opportunities. Instead of friends, they have victims and accomplices who end up as victims. The end always justifies the means and they let nothing stand in their way.
Shallow Emotions
When they show what seems to be warmth, joy, love and compassion it is more feigned than experienced and serves an ulterior motive. Outraged by insignificant matters, yet remaining unmoved and cold by what would upset a normal person. Since they are not genuine, neither are their promises.
Incapacity for Love
Need for Stimulation
Living on the edge. Verbal outbursts and physical punishments are normal. Promiscuity and gambling are common.
Callousness/Lack of Empathy
Unable to empathize with the pain of their victims, having only contempt for others' feelings of distress and readily taking advantage of them.
Poor Behavioral Controls/Impulsive Nature
Rage and abuse, alternating with small expressions of love and approval produce an addictive cycle for abuser and abused, as well as creating hopelessness in the victim. Believe they are all-powerful, all-knowing, entitled to every wish, no sense of personal boundaries, no concern for their impact on others.
Early Behavior Problems/Juvenile Delinquency
Usually has a history of behavioral and academic difficulties, yet "gets by" by conning others. Problems in making and keeping friends; aberrant behaviors such as cruelty to people or animals, stealing, etc.
Irresponsibility/Unreliability
Not concerned about wrecking others' lives and dreams. Oblivious or indifferent to the devastation they cause. Does not accept blame themselves, but blames others, even for acts they obviously committed.
Promiscuous Sexual Behavior/Infidelity
Promiscuity, child sexual abuse, rape and sexual acting out of all sorts.
Lack of Realistic Life Plan/Parasitic Lifestyle
Tends to move around a lot or makes all encompassing promises for the future, poor work ethic but exploits others effectively.
Criminal or Entrepreneurial Versatility
Changes their image as needed to avoid prosecution. Changes life story readily.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,460
Safety in Fringe Areas
As we often say, "You don't want to walk into the lion's den, so the trick is to recognize when an area has turned from a fringe into the lion's den"
Learn to recognize when you are in a fringe area.
Most fringe areas are transitional but, that is not always the case. A fringe area is any place that you are beyond "immediate help." That means: Would it take longer than 30 seconds for help to get to you?
That is all the longer it takes for a mugger to rob you. Granted, when you are staring down the barrel of a gun, 10 seconds seems like 10 years, but the reason most robberies are successful is their blitzkrieg nature. They happen blindingly fast. By the time help reaches you, the criminal is speeding away.
Another standard: Would anyone hear you if you screamed?
As we often say, "You don't want to walk into the lion's den, so the trick is to recognize when an area has turned from a fringe into the lion's den"
Learn to recognize when you are in a fringe area.
Most fringe areas are transitional but, that is not always the case. A fringe area is any place that you are beyond "immediate help." That means: Would it take longer than 30 seconds for help to get to you?
That is all the longer it takes for a mugger to rob you. Granted, when you are staring down the barrel of a gun, 10 seconds seems like 10 years, but the reason most robberies are successful is their blitzkrieg nature. They happen blindingly fast. By the time help reaches you, the criminal is speeding away.
Another standard: Would anyone hear you if you screamed?
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,462
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Parking Lots
Although there are many fringe areas, we tend to emphasize parking lots. Simply stated there is no place more likely for you to be robbed than a parking lot. They are a hotbed of carjackings. And most personal robberies happen here(1). The presence of vehicles also makes it easy for rapists to kidnap a victim and take her to a secondary location for rape.
Parking lots offer the best advantages of fringe areas. They are close enough to where people congregate to offer enough passerbys to choose the best victims. Parking lots are isolated enough that a victim will be beyond immediate help. And someone rich enough to afford a car will have money (or goods worth stealing). Most people are "wrapped up in their own head" while passing through the area and not paying attention to what is going on around them. This makes it easy to set them up for a violent assault or robbery. In addition, the areas offer easy escape routes for the criminal(s) in that they have easy access to the streets and they can obstruct your view (by jumping into a car the next aisle over and speeding away, odds are that you will not see the license plate).
We have already explained many of the identifiable behaviors that tell you something is amiss, but there are a few more refinements. It isn't just loitering in a parking lot that is a danger sign, but *where* someone is waiting. Although there is extreme paranoia about specifically targeted assaults (e.g., the guy hiding under the car and grabbing your ankle) those kinds of attacks are, in fact, so rare as to be almost statistically meaningless. An overwhelming majority of attackers are loitering by the pedestrian entrance of the parking structure or area.
Parking Lots
Although there are many fringe areas, we tend to emphasize parking lots. Simply stated there is no place more likely for you to be robbed than a parking lot. They are a hotbed of carjackings. And most personal robberies happen here(1). The presence of vehicles also makes it easy for rapists to kidnap a victim and take her to a secondary location for rape.
Parking lots offer the best advantages of fringe areas. They are close enough to where people congregate to offer enough passerbys to choose the best victims. Parking lots are isolated enough that a victim will be beyond immediate help. And someone rich enough to afford a car will have money (or goods worth stealing). Most people are "wrapped up in their own head" while passing through the area and not paying attention to what is going on around them. This makes it easy to set them up for a violent assault or robbery. In addition, the areas offer easy escape routes for the criminal(s) in that they have easy access to the streets and they can obstruct your view (by jumping into a car the next aisle over and speeding away, odds are that you will not see the license plate).
We have already explained many of the identifiable behaviors that tell you something is amiss, but there are a few more refinements. It isn't just loitering in a parking lot that is a danger sign, but *where* someone is waiting. Although there is extreme paranoia about specifically targeted assaults (e.g., the guy hiding under the car and grabbing your ankle) those kinds of attacks are, in fact, so rare as to be almost statistically meaningless. An overwhelming majority of attackers are loitering by the pedestrian entrance of the parking structure or area.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) triple-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,463
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Would-be robbers in parking lots most often position themselves in a place where they can observe people passing by and either follow them to their car or intercept them along the way. The criminal is not psychic. He doesn't know where your car is when you enter the parking lot. This is why loitering off at the far end -- which while good for drug deals and illegal drinking -- is not a winning strategy for mugging someone. If he were to take such a position, you likely get into your car and drive away before he can reach you. This means he or they usually take up a position at the pedestrian entrance or within the first third of where you enter the parking lot. From there, they can easily intercept or follow you to where ever you are going.
When you enter a parking structure and you see a loitering person or a group, the bells need to go off. This is a serious sign of not potential, but probable, trouble. Continuing on is literally walking into the lion's jaws -- especially if they focus on you. This is one of the reasons you need to pretend you are a mugger for a week. Once you have done this exercise, seeing someone in this position will scream danger to you.
It also is not uncommon for muggers to "hang out" at the mall entrance under the guise of smoking. Although not as common, selecting a victim who is in the mall and then following her out to her car also occurs. Both of these can be foiled by simply looking around -- and that includes behind you -- when entering a fringe area. If someone follows, return to the mall.
It is also important to remember that within a large fringe area there can be several smaller ones. For example, a wide-open parking lot can be checked in its entirety with two two-second glances (one when you enter, one when you reach your vehicle). However, a parking structure or a "wrap around" parking lot (the sort where parking is so vast that "wings" wrap around the building, obscuring your view of the front door) may require four or five checks as you enter into new "blind spots" or levels.
Would-be robbers in parking lots most often position themselves in a place where they can observe people passing by and either follow them to their car or intercept them along the way. The criminal is not psychic. He doesn't know where your car is when you enter the parking lot. This is why loitering off at the far end -- which while good for drug deals and illegal drinking -- is not a winning strategy for mugging someone. If he were to take such a position, you likely get into your car and drive away before he can reach you. This means he or they usually take up a position at the pedestrian entrance or within the first third of where you enter the parking lot. From there, they can easily intercept or follow you to where ever you are going.
When you enter a parking structure and you see a loitering person or a group, the bells need to go off. This is a serious sign of not potential, but probable, trouble. Continuing on is literally walking into the lion's jaws -- especially if they focus on you. This is one of the reasons you need to pretend you are a mugger for a week. Once you have done this exercise, seeing someone in this position will scream danger to you.
It also is not uncommon for muggers to "hang out" at the mall entrance under the guise of smoking. Although not as common, selecting a victim who is in the mall and then following her out to her car also occurs. Both of these can be foiled by simply looking around -- and that includes behind you -- when entering a fringe area. If someone follows, return to the mall.
It is also important to remember that within a large fringe area there can be several smaller ones. For example, a wide-open parking lot can be checked in its entirety with two two-second glances (one when you enter, one when you reach your vehicle). However, a parking structure or a "wrap around" parking lot (the sort where parking is so vast that "wings" wrap around the building, obscuring your view of the front door) may require four or five checks as you enter into new "blind spots" or levels.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) quadruple-posted this 14 years ago, 24 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,464
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
We mentioned earlier that there is a certain element that does "hang out" in parking lots. Generally speaking, such people are up to no good anyway. This is not to say that they are robbers per se, but if a police car were to pull up, their lives would get rather interesting. It is not uncommon to see these types hanging out near liquor stores or other places of interest to them. Basically the easiest way to handle this situation is to take your business elsewhere. In fact, you might want to take yourself elsewhere because you are not in a nice part of town if this kind of event is occurring.
Generally speaking, however, these types will not be immediately near the door of the business. A savvy business owner will run them off rather than let them linger too close to the door and chase away business. As long as you can park next to the door, they should not be much of a problem. It is when you have to walk by them that they can become a problem.
These people usually want to position themselves far enough away to see a police car approaching. That allows them to start wandering away and divest themselves of anything that would result in their being arrested (this also holds true in parks). As long as they stay over there, it is no problem.
While individuals will come and go from time to time, such a pack doesn't generally move without reason. If you enter such an area and the pack goes into motion GO BACK! That's right, turn around and return to where you came from. If you are wrong about their intentions then they will pass from the area. If they are up to no good you will have foiled their attempt to rob you. (If you see a pack following you from an entrance, obviously don't turn back into their midst, but instead loop around, putting obstacles between you and head for the entrance)
A serious danger sign is when you enter a parking lot and see a group spread out along a wall. Do NOT continue as it is a specific type of trap described in the video Safe in the Street. When present in a fringe area, you are literally asking to be raped, robbed or shot if you proceed. Return to the establishment and inform management. From there, the manager will decide if he needs to call the police.
We mentioned earlier that there is a certain element that does "hang out" in parking lots. Generally speaking, such people are up to no good anyway. This is not to say that they are robbers per se, but if a police car were to pull up, their lives would get rather interesting. It is not uncommon to see these types hanging out near liquor stores or other places of interest to them. Basically the easiest way to handle this situation is to take your business elsewhere. In fact, you might want to take yourself elsewhere because you are not in a nice part of town if this kind of event is occurring.
Generally speaking, however, these types will not be immediately near the door of the business. A savvy business owner will run them off rather than let them linger too close to the door and chase away business. As long as you can park next to the door, they should not be much of a problem. It is when you have to walk by them that they can become a problem.
These people usually want to position themselves far enough away to see a police car approaching. That allows them to start wandering away and divest themselves of anything that would result in their being arrested (this also holds true in parks). As long as they stay over there, it is no problem.
While individuals will come and go from time to time, such a pack doesn't generally move without reason. If you enter such an area and the pack goes into motion GO BACK! That's right, turn around and return to where you came from. If you are wrong about their intentions then they will pass from the area. If they are up to no good you will have foiled their attempt to rob you. (If you see a pack following you from an entrance, obviously don't turn back into their midst, but instead loop around, putting obstacles between you and head for the entrance)
A serious danger sign is when you enter a parking lot and see a group spread out along a wall. Do NOT continue as it is a specific type of trap described in the video Safe in the Street. When present in a fringe area, you are literally asking to be raped, robbed or shot if you proceed. Return to the establishment and inform management. From there, the manager will decide if he needs to call the police.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) quintuple-posted this 14 years ago, 34 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,465
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) sextuple-posted this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,466
Stairwells/Elevators
Enclosed stairwells are often the loitering place for those who have no place to go and are seeking shelter from the weather. The fact that such a person is homeless proves that there is something wrong with his people skills to begin with. The question then becomes "just how twisted is this person?"
More importantly, do you really want to find out?
A stairwell is the ultimate in transitional areas. They are not an area where you linger, loiter or hang out. If you see someone standing there, something is wrong. In open air staircases you may find someone smoking on the stoop, when that cigarette is done, the person returns to the apartment or business from whence he or she came. If you see someone smoking on the stairway and you aren't sure about them, wait a few minutes until the finish their cigarette...if they linger, you know something is amiss.
In an office building it is better to take the elevator. If you insist on taking the stairwell, take a cell phone. If you encounter someone suspicious on your way down, turn around and head back upstairs. If the door locks behind you, call someone in your office and ask them to open the door.
Elevators don't tend to be as dangerous as stairwells. Despite all those movie scenes where a couple proceeds to have wild, passionate clothes-ripping-sex after stopping the elevator, in any building built after 1950 you cannot hit the stop button without alarms screaming.
Also the fact that elevators tend to be continuously peopled tend to make them less dangerous. This doesn't mean you cannot be followed from an elevator. This is why it is best *not* to ride up with someone who makes you nervous. There is nothing that says you can't wait for the next car.
Enclosed stairwells are often the loitering place for those who have no place to go and are seeking shelter from the weather. The fact that such a person is homeless proves that there is something wrong with his people skills to begin with. The question then becomes "just how twisted is this person?"
More importantly, do you really want to find out?
A stairwell is the ultimate in transitional areas. They are not an area where you linger, loiter or hang out. If you see someone standing there, something is wrong. In open air staircases you may find someone smoking on the stoop, when that cigarette is done, the person returns to the apartment or business from whence he or she came. If you see someone smoking on the stairway and you aren't sure about them, wait a few minutes until the finish their cigarette...if they linger, you know something is amiss.
In an office building it is better to take the elevator. If you insist on taking the stairwell, take a cell phone. If you encounter someone suspicious on your way down, turn around and head back upstairs. If the door locks behind you, call someone in your office and ask them to open the door.
Elevators don't tend to be as dangerous as stairwells. Despite all those movie scenes where a couple proceeds to have wild, passionate clothes-ripping-sex after stopping the elevator, in any building built after 1950 you cannot hit the stop button without alarms screaming.
Also the fact that elevators tend to be continuously peopled tend to make them less dangerous. This doesn't mean you cannot be followed from an elevator. This is why it is best *not* to ride up with someone who makes you nervous. There is nothing that says you can't wait for the next car.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 26 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,467
@364,458 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Types is probably the wrong word. In fact, it'd be invalid to try to catagorise rapists into strict "types". Basically my point is that not all people who commit rapes will have these characteristics, maybe some, but you can't apply one measure to every offender.
Types is probably the wrong word. In fact, it'd be invalid to try to catagorise rapists into strict "types". Basically my point is that not all people who commit rapes will have these characteristics, maybe some, but you can't apply one measure to every offender.
(Edited 3 minutes later.)
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,468
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #364,469
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Hard to say, since I haven't studied it in-depth. It's true that the majority of them do share common traits, though. Probably quite a few of the ones on your list.
Hard to say, since I haven't studied it in-depth. It's true that the majority of them do share common traits, though. Probably quite a few of the ones on your list.
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 31 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,475
Ugh, all the stuff in the OP sounds like my boyfriend.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,476
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,477
ATMs
Most ATMS are located so they will not interfere with pedestrian traffic. This often means they are off the beaten path. In some older parts of town and in regions of inclement weather, these are put inside small, enclosed areas. This unfortunately attracts homeless bums who shelter in these enclaves. Do not go into such an area if such a character is present. In order to do your transaction, you have to turn your back on him. And getting hit over the head with a bottle will put you in a hospital.
Before proceeding look around in more open areas with ATMs. If you watch people walking towards an ATM, you will notice that most do not look around. They are so laser sighted on what they are doing that they see nothing else. A simple glance about would show them the mugger is standing in a place where you won't normally look if you are hyper-focused on the machine.
Most ATMS are located so they will not interfere with pedestrian traffic. This often means they are off the beaten path. In some older parts of town and in regions of inclement weather, these are put inside small, enclosed areas. This unfortunately attracts homeless bums who shelter in these enclaves. Do not go into such an area if such a character is present. In order to do your transaction, you have to turn your back on him. And getting hit over the head with a bottle will put you in a hospital.
Before proceeding look around in more open areas with ATMs. If you watch people walking towards an ATM, you will notice that most do not look around. They are so laser sighted on what they are doing that they see nothing else. A simple glance about would show them the mugger is standing in a place where you won't normally look if you are hyper-focused on the machine.
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 27 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,478
@364,465 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)Super busy or I would show you. He currently has a huge fan club. A lot of sick women still follow him. And of course Charles Manson had that Harem, that did the stabbing and killing for him.
Video included but do not have time to view - I saw that interview on Cnn
http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/11/12/charles.manson.birthday/index.html
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,479
@previous (C)
Show us later, okay? I wonder how much of his charisma regarding followers was related to drug use?
Show us later, okay? I wonder how much of his charisma regarding followers was related to drug use?
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,480
Leaving an event/location
Any place that attracts large numbers of people is usually safe. Leaving such a place, however, is often dangerous . It is not uncommon for criminals to position themselves along the walkways to and from such areas. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that people leaving an establishment will usually head towards the closest parking lot.
It is a simple feat to position oneself along that route in a way where you can successfully mug someone. Along with the "spread-out-along-a-wall that people will pass by" trap, there is the "pliers in a bottleneck" trap. This is to find a narrow area where people will pass through (i.e. overpass bridges, escalators, stairs or between a wall and a car) and take up a position where the victim will have to walk in between the muggers.
Another common pincer move is to take positions up to 50 yards apart. When you pass the first one and head towards the second, the first begins to follow you. It is the presence of the first following behind you that is the signal to the second that you are the person to be robbed. While you should always walk wide of someone loitering in a fringe area, if you see someone else up ahead, loitering, don't enter the trap. If you do pass someone and another person steps out in front of you, look back over your shoulder to see if the first is following. If yes, take evasive action and return where you came ...even if you have to climb over the face of the first person you passed. One you might be able to handle, but not two.
Any place that attracts large numbers of people is usually safe. Leaving such a place, however, is often dangerous . It is not uncommon for criminals to position themselves along the walkways to and from such areas. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that people leaving an establishment will usually head towards the closest parking lot.
It is a simple feat to position oneself along that route in a way where you can successfully mug someone. Along with the "spread-out-along-a-wall that people will pass by" trap, there is the "pliers in a bottleneck" trap. This is to find a narrow area where people will pass through (i.e. overpass bridges, escalators, stairs or between a wall and a car) and take up a position where the victim will have to walk in between the muggers.
Another common pincer move is to take positions up to 50 yards apart. When you pass the first one and head towards the second, the first begins to follow you. It is the presence of the first following behind you that is the signal to the second that you are the person to be robbed. While you should always walk wide of someone loitering in a fringe area, if you see someone else up ahead, loitering, don't enter the trap. If you do pass someone and another person steps out in front of you, look back over your shoulder to see if the first is following. If yes, take evasive action and return where you came ...even if you have to climb over the face of the first person you passed. One you might be able to handle, but not two.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) triple-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,481
Public restrooms. While those at beaches, parks, rest areas and bus stations can be downright terrifying all by themselves, when you are familiar with the idea of fringe areas you will discover exactly how isolated restrooms at malls and shopping centers can be. In many such locations, they are put off the beaten path, down empty halls and isolated stairways. During a peak shopping period, they are heavily populated. Off hours, they can be deserted.
Apartment laundry rooms. These are another place that people don't think of as fringe areas until something goes wrong. If you think about it, all an attacker needs to do is close and lock the door, and you are in serious trouble.
Apartment laundry rooms. These are another place that people don't think of as fringe areas until something goes wrong. If you think about it, all an attacker needs to do is close and lock the door, and you are in serious trouble.
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,501
I know some people who fit within the confines of all of those symptoms, however I couldn't really be certain if they were at the level it would be considered whatever disorder.
Anonymous I replied with this 14 years ago, 3 hours later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,590
@364,476 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Yeah. Well he actually broke up with me again today but I don't think it'll last.
Yeah. Well he actually broke up with me again today but I don't think it'll last.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 13 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,592
The amount of pasta in here pretty much kills off anyone making a reasonable point.
Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 18 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,594
@364,460 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,462 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,463 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,464 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,466 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,477 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,480 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,481 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
BLAMING THE VICTIM
@364,462 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,463 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,464 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,466 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,477 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,480 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@364,481 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
BLAMING THE VICTIM
Anonymous K replied with this 14 years ago, 10 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,596
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,598
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,599
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,601
@previous (L)
I think it comes down to: Men are animals & if of genetic fail when they see...smell...fresh meat, they hunt prowl and attack.
Women need to take this in account when they dress and drink in public, without proper escorts.
I think it comes down to: Men are animals & if of genetic fail when they see...smell...fresh meat, they hunt prowl and attack.
Women need to take this in account when they dress and drink in public, without proper escorts.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,603
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,604
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 31 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,608
henn joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 51 minutes later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,612
@OP
Thank you for this thread!
Thank you for this thread!
Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ replied with this 14 years ago, 6 hours later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,629
@364,590 (I)
There needs to be an elimination of gender stereotyping when it comes to assault/rape victims. There are things we can all do to stay safe. Stay in a group, have charged cell phones, carry IDs, make sure at least one member of your group stays sober, etc.
There needs to be an elimination of gender stereotyping when it comes to assault/rape victims. There are things we can all do to stay safe. Stay in a group, have charged cell phones, carry IDs, make sure at least one member of your group stays sober, etc.
Anonymous D replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #364,630
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 23 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,917
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,919
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,923
@364,629 (Postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
When women do those things, men get angry. They feel like its stereotyping to act that way around strange men, and shows born victimhood.
When women do those things, men get angry. They feel like its stereotyping to act that way around strange men, and shows born victimhood.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 29 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,924
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) triple-posted this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,977
On how to stop a date or acquaintance rape.
Stopping the Process
Unfortunately this process designed to establish intimacy leaves women vulnerable to rape –- especially in the later stages.
This is because an inherent part of the process is for the pair to go off alone. Take a look at the table again and see how much occurs in isolation. Somewhere during the initial cycle, both will want to withdraw from the public (or the rest of the group) so this interview process can continue uninterrupted. That's right, we just said: You will find yourself willingly going off with an interviewee and away from the group. You both want to get away and find out more about each other. All during the process, there will be verbal communication (screening) by both parties, so you might not even notice this withdrawal. And the process can occur over time -- in some cases months. During this period, you could find yourself isolated with such a person while doing errands, riding together to a destination or working late. You may not have thought of it as withdrawing from the group, but you find yourself with someone in isolation
It is it important for women to realize that if the process begins to go awry: WITHDRAW FROM THIS ISOLATION!
Move to a public place or return to the social environment from which you withdrew. Do not try to alter, change or dictate his behavior! Do not stay there and ARGUE with him. Your immediate goal is to get out of isolation. Return to the safety of the group, where he must behave himself. This is the most critical step. Scream if you have to(3). But get out of there NOW!
It is important to realize that under normal circumstances the bonding process can be broken off at any time. However, the farther down the road you are the more critical it becomes to get out of an isolated position.
The reason is that a selfish person (or someone who has displayed many of the profiled behaviors of a potential rapist) can, and often will, decide to force the issue. Such a person is only focused on getting sex and personal gratification. If the woman tries to slow him down or stop the process without leaving (or even establishing distance) there is a very good chance that in his little besotted brain it will seem perfectly logical to try to continue the process by whatever means necessary.
Stopping the Process
Unfortunately this process designed to establish intimacy leaves women vulnerable to rape –- especially in the later stages.
This is because an inherent part of the process is for the pair to go off alone. Take a look at the table again and see how much occurs in isolation. Somewhere during the initial cycle, both will want to withdraw from the public (or the rest of the group) so this interview process can continue uninterrupted. That's right, we just said: You will find yourself willingly going off with an interviewee and away from the group. You both want to get away and find out more about each other. All during the process, there will be verbal communication (screening) by both parties, so you might not even notice this withdrawal. And the process can occur over time -- in some cases months. During this period, you could find yourself isolated with such a person while doing errands, riding together to a destination or working late. You may not have thought of it as withdrawing from the group, but you find yourself with someone in isolation
It is it important for women to realize that if the process begins to go awry: WITHDRAW FROM THIS ISOLATION!
Move to a public place or return to the social environment from which you withdrew. Do not try to alter, change or dictate his behavior! Do not stay there and ARGUE with him. Your immediate goal is to get out of isolation. Return to the safety of the group, where he must behave himself. This is the most critical step. Scream if you have to(3). But get out of there NOW!
It is important to realize that under normal circumstances the bonding process can be broken off at any time. However, the farther down the road you are the more critical it becomes to get out of an isolated position.
The reason is that a selfish person (or someone who has displayed many of the profiled behaviors of a potential rapist) can, and often will, decide to force the issue. Such a person is only focused on getting sex and personal gratification. If the woman tries to slow him down or stop the process without leaving (or even establishing distance) there is a very good chance that in his little besotted brain it will seem perfectly logical to try to continue the process by whatever means necessary.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) quadruple-posted this 14 years ago, 53 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,978
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Stopping the Process
Unfortunately this process designed to establish intimacy leaves women vulnerable to rape –- especially in the later stages.
This is because an inherent part of the process is for the pair to go off alone. Take a look at the table again and see how much occurs in isolation. Somewhere during the initial cycle, both will want to withdraw from the public (or the rest of the group) so this interview process can continue uninterrupted. That's right, we just said: You will find yourself willingly going off with an interviewee and away from the group. You both want to get away and find out more about each other. All during the process, there will be verbal communication (screening) by both parties, so you might not even notice this withdrawal. And the process can occur over time -- in some cases months. During this period, you could find yourself isolated with such a person while doing errands, riding together to a destination or working late. You may not have thought of it as withdrawing from the group, but you find yourself with someone in isolation
It is it important for women to realize that if the process begins to go awry: WITHDRAW FROM THIS ISOLATION!
Move to a public place or return to the social environment from which you withdrew. Do not try to alter, change or dictate his behavior! Do not stay there and ARGUE with him. Your immediate goal is to get out of isolation. Return to the safety of the group, where he must behave himself. This is the most critical step. Scream if you have to(3). But get out of there NOW!
It is important to realize that under normal circumstances the bonding process can be broken off at any time. However, the farther down the road you are the more critical it becomes to get out of an isolated position.
The reason is that a selfish person (or someone who has displayed many of the profiled behaviors of a potential rapist) can, and often will, decide to force the issue. Such a person is only focused on getting sex and personal gratification. If the woman tries to slow him down or stop the process without leaving (or even establishing distance) there is a very good chance that in his little besotted brain it will seem perfectly logical to try to continue the process by whatever means necessary.
Don’t stay there and argue, punish him by leaving.
If you try to control his behavior at that moment, you are still in a range and position to be raped.
In these kinds of situations you "win" by not being raped. You show you are in control, by getting out of there -- by hook or crook if necessary. You don't try to "get him to behave" you get out of there. He's failed the interview/process and it's time for you to leave.
Stopping the Process
Unfortunately this process designed to establish intimacy leaves women vulnerable to rape –- especially in the later stages.
This is because an inherent part of the process is for the pair to go off alone. Take a look at the table again and see how much occurs in isolation. Somewhere during the initial cycle, both will want to withdraw from the public (or the rest of the group) so this interview process can continue uninterrupted. That's right, we just said: You will find yourself willingly going off with an interviewee and away from the group. You both want to get away and find out more about each other. All during the process, there will be verbal communication (screening) by both parties, so you might not even notice this withdrawal. And the process can occur over time -- in some cases months. During this period, you could find yourself isolated with such a person while doing errands, riding together to a destination or working late. You may not have thought of it as withdrawing from the group, but you find yourself with someone in isolation
It is it important for women to realize that if the process begins to go awry: WITHDRAW FROM THIS ISOLATION!
Move to a public place or return to the social environment from which you withdrew. Do not try to alter, change or dictate his behavior! Do not stay there and ARGUE with him. Your immediate goal is to get out of isolation. Return to the safety of the group, where he must behave himself. This is the most critical step. Scream if you have to(3). But get out of there NOW!
It is important to realize that under normal circumstances the bonding process can be broken off at any time. However, the farther down the road you are the more critical it becomes to get out of an isolated position.
The reason is that a selfish person (or someone who has displayed many of the profiled behaviors of a potential rapist) can, and often will, decide to force the issue. Such a person is only focused on getting sex and personal gratification. If the woman tries to slow him down or stop the process without leaving (or even establishing distance) there is a very good chance that in his little besotted brain it will seem perfectly logical to try to continue the process by whatever means necessary.
Don’t stay there and argue, punish him by leaving.
If you try to control his behavior at that moment, you are still in a range and position to be raped.
In these kinds of situations you "win" by not being raped. You show you are in control, by getting out of there -- by hook or crook if necessary. You don't try to "get him to behave" you get out of there. He's failed the interview/process and it's time for you to leave.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,992
@364,977 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Only men can stop rape. Stop blaming the victim.
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Only men can stop rape. Stop blaming the victim.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 9 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #364,998
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #365,012
(◣_◢)┌∩┠!ZZZYzLybAc replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #365,020
THereis more talk of rape here than in a pewdiepie vid xD
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #365,024
@365,012 (L)
Men aren't the only rapists, but both men and women are more likely to be raped, or attacked by a male. Thats not my fault. Everyone should follow these safety tips, if they are able.
Men aren't the only rapists, but both men and women are more likely to be raped, or attacked by a male. Thats not my fault. Everyone should follow these safety tips, if they are able.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 31 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #365,025
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,032
@365,024 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
You are supporting the rape culture. You are saying women should have to change their behavior or be raped
You are supporting the rape culture. You are saying women should have to change their behavior or be raped
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,034
@previous (L)
I only want to protect people. By calling only men rapists, you are actually discounting male victims and female offenders. too sad.
I only want to protect people. By calling only men rapists, you are actually discounting male victims and female offenders. too sad.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 34 seconds later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,035
@365,032 (L)
I only want to protect people. By calling only men rapists, you are actually discounting male victims and female offenders. too sad.
I only want to protect people. By calling only men rapists, you are actually discounting male victims and female offenders. too sad.
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,039
@365,034 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
You want to control women's lives using the threat of rape.
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
You want to control women's lives using the threat of rape.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,044
@previous (L)
These tips are for everyone, men and women.
Funny how you call me controlling, but not the people committing these horrible acts. lol I'm not surprised by this at all.
These tips are for everyone, men and women.
Funny how you call me controlling, but not the people committing these horrible acts. lol I'm not surprised by this at all.
buspup !!x+kkCmnF4 (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,046
Its cute when people make posts attacking me for disseminating this info, but dont even mention the rapists.
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,131
@previous (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
The problem is, the abusers almost always see themselves as the innocent victims. Pretty much anyone, abuser or not, would be fast to point the finger at someone else and call them a sociopath, or psychopath, or just an asshole. The best thing we can do is to avoid people who hurt us whenever possible and only react to them when it's absolutely necessary.
PS
How many times have you made posts like this before? People tend to get desensitized or even hostile towards anything if you keep forcing it down their throats.
The problem is, the abusers almost always see themselves as the innocent victims. Pretty much anyone, abuser or not, would be fast to point the finger at someone else and call them a sociopath, or psychopath, or just an asshole. The best thing we can do is to avoid people who hurt us whenever possible and only react to them when it's absolutely necessary.
PS
How many times have you made posts like this before? People tend to get desensitized or even hostile towards anything if you keep forcing it down their throats.
Anonymous C replied with this 14 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,139
@365,046 (buspup !!x+kkCmnF4)
Relax. If they are pro rape they are Republicans. They are old and a dying breed.
Relax. If they are pro rape they are Republicans. They are old and a dying breed.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 47 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,167
ashe joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,223
Why does everyone keep saying "men do this" and "men do that", there isn't a legion of doom where we all gather and come up with rules about what we all have to do and how we all have to behave.
Anonymous L replied with this 14 years ago, 5 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,264
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #365,276
@365,223 (ashe)
The people saying only men rape, in this thread are doing so because any talk of assault makes them uncomfortable. So they wish to silence it, by claims of sexism.
The people saying only men rape, in this thread are doing so because any talk of assault makes them uncomfortable. So they wish to silence it, by claims of sexism.