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Minichan

Topic: Ask Postmortem Anything

yes started this discussion 14 years ago #19,906

anything at all

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later[^] [v] #325,477

What do you do for a living?

SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN. joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,479

Are you postmortem?

Can I ask you anything?

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,480

Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?

Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,481

@325,479 (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)

> Are you postmortem?
>
> Can I ask you anything?

Anonymous D replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,482

@previous (Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx)
> Killer Lettuc

4Get something?

Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,483

@previous (D)
;)

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,484

Coke or um...fuck what's that other one?
@previous (Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx)
Can you help a brotha out?

Anonymous G replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,486

You know the signs on restaurant doors? No Shirt, No Shoes, No Service? what if someone goes in with No Pants? Would the restaurant still have to serve them?

Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 2 seconds later, 21 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,487

@325,484 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Canada Dry, I think.

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 22 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,488

@325,477 (B)

I don't, I applied to work at Starbucks as a supervisor though, so hopefully that works out.

@325,479 (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
yes, and yes

@325,480 (D)
Yes, they were drawn on by God so that when they had kids, the kids would not feel different/awkward

@325,481 (Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx)
yes, and yes

@325,483 (Killer Lettuc !!iNo3FkiZx)
:)

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,489

What would you say are your best and worst qualities?

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 31 seconds later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,490

@325,484 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)

Coke

@325,486 (Anonymous G)
I don't think the company even needs to put up the sign to not serve somebody, since it's a private company, I'm pretty sure they can refuse service to anybody they like. Granted I'm sure they would have trouble if their reason was "you're a nigger" for example.

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) double-posted this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 29 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,491

@325,489 (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)

I'm very charming, and good with people. I can almost guarantee that if any of you met me in real life, you would take a liking to me. I've gotten jobs that I've been way under qualified for, where I knew people going for the same job that clearly were more suited than I was for the position. But I got the interviewer to like me, and I got the job. So my best quality would just be a high level of charm.

My worst quality would be that I'm apathetic, and lazy. I can't bring myself to give enough shits to really do anything, I have desires and goals, but those are totally trumped my desire to just take a nap.

squeegee joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 27 seconds later, 30 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,492

what is the meaning of life? Why are we here? Where did we come from? What happens to us when we die? Where were we before we were born? Who stole my vintage Member's Only jacket in high school? That shit was hip!

postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+ (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 18 minutes later, 48 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #325,495

@previous (squeegee)

> what is the meaning of life

I don't think life has any inherent meaning, we all experience life a little bit differently, even our perception of reality itself varies a little bit from person to person I think. Objectively though, life is utterly meaningless, but that doesn't mean that the subjective value we've given life isn't important. Your perception, your life, is literally the most important thing, because it is the only thing you know. So while life in a grand sense is meaningless, in a personal sense, it is the only thing that has meaning at all, it is everything.

> where did we come from?
evolution, abiogenesis?, vaginas

> what happens to us when we die?

There are 5 stages of decomposition: fresh, bloat, active and advanced decay, and dry remains
Fresh is as soon as the heart stops beating, because blood is no longer being pumped through the veins the blood simply goes where gravity tells it to go. This is what gives corpses that sexy purple color (livor mortis). Within 3 to 6 hours after death muscle tissues stiffen, becoming unable to relax, this is known as Rigor Mortis, and from the time of death the body begins cooling to the heat of the environment (no homeostasis after death silly), this process is known as algor mortis. putrefication occurs then, the chemical changes in our body once we die. Awesome gases like ammonia, and sulfide! woohoo! putrefication then leads to the bloat stage. FUN FACT: Blowflies are the first animal to start feeding on your corpse!

In the bloat stage your body does just that, it becomes bloated, gases in your body increase, and you get this sexy marbled appearance. oxygen finds its way into your body, expanding entry ways for maggots to crawl in and get to work on eating you.

In active decay, animals eat you, this is decomposition by maggots, blowflies, and whatever else decides to take a bite, the biggest part of this is the massive loss of yourself. In advanced decay this is the soil taking in nitrogen from your body, at this point the insects have packed their bags and left for the most part.

In the dry remains stage all that remains is cartilage and bone, if left in the elements the bones will become bleached. And then it is Skeletonized!

> where were we before we were born

in your mother's womb

> who stole my vintage Member's only jacket in high school? That shit was hip!

Mark

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #325,520

@previous (postmortem !!Qe8ScDbX+)
I am not some petty thief, thanks. My Jewish friends control the world's finances, why would i steal his jacket? Thanks.

Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #325,521

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
I like how you conclude each point with a thanks. Thanks.

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #325,524

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
sʞuɐɥʇ
:

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