Topic: Tips for fighting geese.
Anonymous A started this discussion 14 years ago #18,904
They can hit pretty hard with their beaks. Just remember to maintain eye contact. That is probably the most important rule when facing down a goose (or any number of them, they like to fight in packs). Also another important strategy is to spread your lats out, this will intimidate them. If the challenge is accepted the goose will spread its wings out as a sign to commence battle. The best way to start off the fight is to run straight at it and flap your arms while still spreading your lats (hard to do, but easily accomplished with a few weeks training). The goose will either be scared off at this point, or ready to take you on. If the latter is true, prepare for a long fight because once a goose decided to attack, he's in it to win it.
Geese are natural born bullies. They will bark orders and expect you to follow them without hesitation. Don't give in to this. If the goose is hissing at you, hiss back. If it raises its wings in a threatening fashion at you, raise both your arms in a similar gesture. You are representing yourself as a bigger goose and the bully will back down. If you have a gander that is aggressive and he comes at you ready to fight, don't run, don't back down. Just grab him around the neck and if he slaps you with his wings, slap back. You are the bigger goose, and he will have to back down eventually. Once he figures out that you are the one in charge, it will go much more smoothly.
Geese are natural born bullies. They will bark orders and expect you to follow them without hesitation. Don't give in to this. If the goose is hissing at you, hiss back. If it raises its wings in a threatening fashion at you, raise both your arms in a similar gesture. You are representing yourself as a bigger goose and the bully will back down. If you have a gander that is aggressive and he comes at you ready to fight, don't run, don't back down. Just grab him around the neck and if he slaps you with his wings, slap back. You are the bigger goose, and he will have to back down eventually. Once he figures out that you are the one in charge, it will go much more smoothly.
Dead !Pool7hVoC2 joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later[^] [v] #312,211
Tl;Dr
Use a gun or flamethrower.
Use a gun or flamethrower.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 12 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #312,213
Dead !Pool7hVoC2 replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #312,214
brainwurms !!gbU9At49F joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 15 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #312,215
> Once he figures out that you are the one in charge, it will go much more smoothly.Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,229
BeforeAnonymous D double-posted this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,230
AfterAnonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,232
brainwurms !!gbU9At49F replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,262
green joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,264
Swans are worse.
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,265
Just kick the damn thing like it's a football running at you.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,267
@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
Punting a goose only pisses it off. You don't want an angry goose coming at you like that.
Punting a goose only pisses it off. You don't want an angry goose coming at you like that.
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,268
@previous (A)
If it comes back at you, you kick it again. It's a fucking goose. I'm not running away from a fucking goose. I'd just kick it until it's either dead or learned its lesson. You don't fuck with an animal roughly 20 times your size.
If it comes back at you, you kick it again. It's a fucking goose. I'm not running away from a fucking goose. I'd just kick it until it's either dead or learned its lesson. You don't fuck with an animal roughly 20 times your size.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,269
@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)
Please read my tips. I already covered this fact in my original post.
Please read my tips. I already covered this fact in my original post.
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,270
@previous (A)
I'm not doing all that complicated shit. I'd just kick the shit out of the goose. Why the fuck would that be any less effective than any of the shit you mentioned?
> hurr durr spread lats grab goose around neck slap it like you're flapping your wings
Do you have any idea how fucking retarded your shit sounds? Just kick the fucking goose.
I'm not doing all that complicated shit. I'd just kick the shit out of the goose. Why the fuck would that be any less effective than any of the shit you mentioned?
> hurr durr spread lats grab goose around neck slap it like you're flapping your wings
Do you have any idea how fucking retarded your shit sounds? Just kick the fucking goose.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,271
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,272
@previous (A)It's OK to grab the goose by the neck like you suggest, but kicking it away from you in self-defense makes you an animal abuse fetishist? Naw. Also you sound like a fag, and your shit's all retarded.
Anonymous A (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,273
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 14 years ago, 55 seconds later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,274
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,275
Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,276
green replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,277
Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 11 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,280
Anonymous F replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,283
Lee O'Nidas !nBpim1wazU joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 54 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,308
At least nobody in this thread made the mistake of suggesting pepper spray on geese.
(Edited 10 seconds later.)
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 hours later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,326
britishpolice.jpg
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 35 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,334
kook !nH6RAuX8mo joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,343
@312,211 (Dead !Pool7hVoC2)
its good advice. that dude was just drowned by geese that he fed every day.
its good advice. that dude was just drowned by geese that he fed every day.
kook !nH6RAuX8mo double-posted this 14 years ago, 42 seconds later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,344
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,367
I always use this.kook !nH6RAuX8mo replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,369
@previous (M)
Pick the right geese or else you might make one super strong! animals that have been struggling under oil build up a lot of muscles yo. Dont unleash the beast.
Pick the right geese or else you might make one super strong! animals that have been struggling under oil build up a lot of muscles yo. Dont unleash the beast.
Anonymous M replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,370
kook !nH6RAuX8mo replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #312,371
@previous (M)
I wouldnt be surprised of pro geese lobbyists paid this company to disseminate bad information.
I wouldnt be surprised of pro geese lobbyists paid this company to disseminate bad information.
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 years later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,850
Bump.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,851
The Captain !PundosRBSM joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,852
A lot of people ITT need to get fucked.Anonymous Q joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,853
@479,851 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Because she's weird.
@312,371 (kook !nH6RAuX8mo)
Remember when kook was fun like this? :(
Because she's weird.
@312,371 (kook !nH6RAuX8mo)
Remember when kook was fun like this? :(
Garak joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,860
Wow i never saw this thread nice
Metæ joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 3 hours later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,886
@OP
Grab it by the neck and drop kick it.
Grab it by the neck and drop kick it.
Anonymous T joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 38 minutes later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,890
@OP
Thanks for the reminder. I will remember this the next time I geesefight.
Thanks for the reminder. I will remember this the next time I geesefight.
Garak replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,901
Blankets?
Anonymous U joined in and replied with this 12 years ago, 1 hour later, 2 years after the original post[^] [v] #479,909
+1 for not being a fucking autist and punting it