Sounds like you have diarrhea.
I get diary a lot and I don't. Know why.
Drink a lot of milk and eat a lot of yogurt and cheese. It'll clear that right up.
@OP
Then your mind begins to linger,
Wrongly saying "Pull my finger"
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you're walking like CP3O
and your shit looks like radicchio
Diarrhea, Diarrhea
When you think your friends are joking
but your pants are brown and soaking:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
Now you think you're feeling better
but you keep on getting wetter:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
Toilet paper you need to gather
and your butt worked up a lather:
Diarrhea, diarrhea
When your stomach starts a rollin'
and you're cleaning out your colon:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you're on the seat for hours
and it doesn't smell like flowers:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When the feeling's not that nice
and you have to flush it twice:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you're rolling like a tire
and your intestines are on fire:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When your stomach really hurts,
and you know that it’s the squirts:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you're miles from anywhere,
and your bowels just don't care:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.
When you don’t feel like a winner
and your butt blows out your dinner:
Diarrhea, diarrhea.