Topic: He stole my bike :D
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k started this discussion 14 years ago #18,280
And it's not even the bike I ride at the skatepark, it's the one I use to cruise around town.
Fun fact, it has a GPS tracker that notified me the moment it started moving after I chained it down then kept sending me the location it was at. Lovely $100 spent.
I found the place he keeps the stolen bikes and I found the apartment of the dude.
I'm not yet going for my bike, I'll keep having fun with the idiot first.
For starters today, I got some friends and we went into the apartment while it was empty and rotated the whole room for 180 degrees. Left no messages, stole nothing, just moved furniture and left a little home made FM transmitter that broadcasts whatever it picks up in the apartment. If he tunes into 101 MHz he'll be surprised :D
I'll be calling him from a telephone cell in 2-3 AM tonight, I'll keep breaking into his place, move stuff, leave windows open etc. this should be fun if I don't get killed in the process haha...
Fun fact, it has a GPS tracker that notified me the moment it started moving after I chained it down then kept sending me the location it was at. Lovely $100 spent.
I found the place he keeps the stolen bikes and I found the apartment of the dude.
I'm not yet going for my bike, I'll keep having fun with the idiot first.
For starters today, I got some friends and we went into the apartment while it was empty and rotated the whole room for 180 degrees. Left no messages, stole nothing, just moved furniture and left a little home made FM transmitter that broadcasts whatever it picks up in the apartment. If he tunes into 101 MHz he'll be surprised :D
I'll be calling him from a telephone cell in 2-3 AM tonight, I'll keep breaking into his place, move stuff, leave windows open etc. this should be fun if I don't get killed in the process haha...
(Edited 35 seconds later.)
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 6 minutes later[^] [v] #304,456
Shit in his toilet tank.
If he has one.
If he has one.
(Edited 56 seconds later.)
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 11 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,458
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,460
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 18 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,461
Rattle snakes in his pillows. Replace all the drinks in his fridge with Visine.
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 20 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,462
Also if you really want to be an asshole then get fiberglass shards (can get at a swimming pool supplies shop) and throw them all over his clothes.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 26 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,464
Put a bear in his closet
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 4 minutes later, 31 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #304,465
I knew you psychotic fucktards would have awesome ideas.
@304,461 (squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc)
> Replace all the drinks in his fridge with Visine.
Will do something like this haha.
@304,461 (squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc)
> Replace all the drinks in his fridge with Visine.
Will do something like this haha.
!Xx.AssHOLE replied with this 14 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #304,470
If one thing having bad flatmates taught me it's how to be a relentless dick. If he has a car put sugar in the gas tank, nails in the tires, if he has an oven turn it on and leave it on, turn down the temperature on his refrigerator to spoil his food, etc.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 48 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,493
Unscrew his showercap and fill it with chicken boullion cubes.
Stir blue coolaid into his hair conditioner
Stir blue coolaid into his hair conditioner
(Edited 51 seconds later.)
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,494
@previous (squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc)
I've heard variants of this such as filling it with kool-aid powder so everything comes out blue/red.
I've heard variants of this such as filling it with kool-aid powder so everything comes out blue/red.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,495
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,496
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,497
@304,494 (B)
You can also will it with hard candy like jolly ranchers. They won't smell it, but they'll dry off sticky after every shower.
You can also will it with hard candy like jolly ranchers. They won't smell it, but they'll dry off sticky after every shower.
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,498
@previous (squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc)
You can also jerk off into their facewash, shave chocolate exlax into their cereal, etc.
You can also jerk off into their facewash, shave chocolate exlax into their cereal, etc.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 47 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,499
Release 100 petstore crickets into his kitchen
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 31 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,512
Glue some of his stuff to the ceiling.
Marceline !0OBUefU/4k joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,513
Make fake blood and pour it in his sinks and toliet.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 32 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,527
Have his locks changed
squeegee !firstkPE1Q joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,547
1. unscrew vent cover
2. insert frozen fish the deeper the better :D
3. wait for it
4. "Awww, fuck, you guys are bastards!@ what the fuck!?"
2. insert frozen fish the deeper the better :D
3. wait for it
4. "Awww, fuck, you guys are bastards!@ what the fuck!?"
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 56 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,552
http://www.scribd.com/doc/240144/CIA-Book-of-Dirty-Tricks
This has a few tips that might be of some use to you.
This has a few tips that might be of some use to you.
Fox !FXYGNx1XR. joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 22 minutes later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,559
Anonymous G replied with this 14 years ago, 30 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,561
@previous (Fox !FXYGNx1XR.)
It really is. I kind of want to try some of these things out. Maybe something simple first, like the salt on the lawn, or the ipecac in the drink.
It really is. I kind of want to try some of these things out. Maybe something simple first, like the salt on the lawn, or the ipecac in the drink.
Fox !FXYGNx1XR. replied with this 14 years ago, 2 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #304,562
@previous (G)
I'd have the cascara sagranda over the ipecac.
In my opinion, blasting shit everything is funnier than blasting vomit.
I'd have the cascara sagranda over the ipecac.
In my opinion, blasting shit everything is funnier than blasting vomit.
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 2 days later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,227
Updates on this:
> took a dump in his water tank
> unscrewed the power outlets, put fish inside, screwed back together
Also, GPS is still active (will be for 2-3 more days) and today it was parked in front of a shopping center 3 kilometers from my home.
Went there and chained my bike next to it, when I saw him coming and unchaining the bike I bumped into him and was like "Oh sorry...btw. nice bike man..."
I'll go get it back probably tomorrow :D
> took a dump in his water tank
> unscrewed the power outlets, put fish inside, screwed back together
Also, GPS is still active (will be for 2-3 more days) and today it was parked in front of a shopping center 3 kilometers from my home.
Went there and chained my bike next to it, when I saw him coming and unchaining the bike I bumped into him and was like "Oh sorry...btw. nice bike man..."
I'll go get it back probably tomorrow :D
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,228
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 11 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,230
@previous (I)
I don't take pics of my criminal activities usually... I'll chain the bike with my chain on top of the thiefs chain next time it's in public and try to take pics of his funny face when he realizes what's happening.
I don't take pics of my criminal activities usually... I'll chain the bike with my chain on top of the thiefs chain next time it's in public and try to take pics of his funny face when he realizes what's happening.
Anonymous I replied with this 14 years ago, 10 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,232
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 3 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,233
Tabasco sauce his hats so his sweat fuck his vision
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,234
Sounds realistic
Ks !KansasxqvM joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 1 hour later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,237
A few drops of Visine in his drinks will fuck his shit up good.
protip !!pMmAiEwOm joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,256
Namefagging to put my Full Supportâ„¢ behind this.
Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx replied with this 14 years ago, 15 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,260
protip !!pMmAiEwOm replied with this 14 years ago, 42 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,262
@305,227 (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)
> Went there and chained my bike next to it, when I saw him coming and unchaining the bike I bumped into him and was like "Oh sorry...btw. nice bike man..."
I’ve recovered a stolen bike in almost the exact same fashion. Well played.
> Went there and chained my bike next to it, when I saw him coming and unchaining the bike I bumped into him and was like "Oh sorry...btw. nice bike man..."
I’ve recovered a stolen bike in almost the exact same fashion. Well played.
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 18 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,525
More news:
I won't be going back there anymore and I saw him waiting across the street in a bar while he shouldn't be at home, probably waited for me lol.
Also, I'll pick up my bike tomorrow, was fun while it lasted.
I won't be going back there anymore and I saw him waiting across the street in a bar while he shouldn't be at home, probably waited for me lol.
Also, I'll pick up my bike tomorrow, was fun while it lasted.
squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc replied with this 14 years ago, 11 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,526
@previous (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)
Don't forget to have him raided by interpol for Trafficking women for prostitution.
Don't forget to have him raided by interpol for Trafficking women for prostitution.
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,531
@previous (squeegee !hbZVTk6JYc)
Mah, the fish will be enough for now... that one should be stinking through the electric tubes all through the house hahaha...
Mah, the fish will be enough for now... that one should be stinking through the electric tubes all through the house hahaha...
Anonymous B replied with this 14 years ago, 7 seconds later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,532
@305,525 (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)
So long as you had fun and you get your bike back, that's all that matters.
So long as you had fun and you get your bike back, that's all that matters.
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 19 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,718
You sound like a real fucking pussy.
He stole your bike, give him a beatdown and take it back.
Fucking practical jokes, you've got to be fucking kidding me.
He stole your bike, give him a beatdown and take it back.
Fucking practical jokes, you've got to be fucking kidding me.
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 5 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,742
@previous (M)
When you're doing it to your room mate it's a practical joke, when you're doing it to a dude who stole a $1500 mountain bike and is a bit paranoid cause of it, it's far more than practical jokes.
When you're doing it to your room mate it's a practical joke, when you're doing it to a dude who stole a $1500 mountain bike and is a bit paranoid cause of it, it's far more than practical jokes.
Ks !KansasxqvM replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,798
@previous (TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k)
I prefer your method of dealing with it, far more fun. But this topic would have been pure fucking gold with some pictures.
I prefer your method of dealing with it, far more fun. But this topic would have been pure fucking gold with some pictures.
(Edited 16 seconds later.)
protip !!pMmAiEwOm replied with this 14 years ago, 2 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,863
@305,718 (M)
Bike thieves don’t care about a beating or losing property. They care somewhat about their pride and sense of security. Bike thieves are scum to be fucked with.
Bike thieves don’t care about a beating or losing property. They care somewhat about their pride and sense of security. Bike thieves are scum to be fucked with.
Anonymous M replied with this 14 years ago, 9 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #305,997
@previous (protip !!pMmAiEwOm)
Ludicrous. As if someone would prefer getting the shit kicked out of them over having their room rotated or saran wrap being put over the toilet.
Ludicrous. As if someone would prefer getting the shit kicked out of them over having their room rotated or saran wrap being put over the toilet.
Anonymous D replied with this 14 years ago, 29 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,000
Anonymous M replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,001
Anonymous D replied with this 14 years ago, 5 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,002
TheSheep !kJ.A4PF7.k (OP) replied with this 14 years ago, 3 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,015
protip !!pMmAiEwOm replied with this 14 years ago, 3 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,031
Anonymous D replied with this 14 years ago, 53 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,042
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this 14 years ago, 7 minutes later, 6 days after the original post[^] [v] #306,043
Dalse fichotomy.