Minichan

fuck you and your shit

@32,969 (B)
who da fuk u think u are

@32,970 (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
hahah that picture funny my nig u see gucchi maynes new tat

@previous (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
Fuck off, you uneducated twat.

Who is TCO?

@32,976 (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
u gotta beef ill come down to florida an fuk u up

@32,972 (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
stop this shit
you moron

@previous (B)
yo dum nigga where i register on this biznatch i bookmarked it

@32,978 (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
umad, nigger?

@previous (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
no old wrinkly ass tit milk bitch

@32,977 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
On the off chance that you're serious, he's some fat kid who plays guitar who got tricked into giving his account to Ryan once (It was Ryan, wasn't it? Or was it Jimmy?), and now he rarely posts because he thinks Minichan sucks when all he ever posted was tired reaction memes like "Haters gonna hate" anyway.

(Edited 37 seconds later.)

@32,986 (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
Please, STFU and GTFO.

@previous (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
yo nigga do u kno how to type

what the fuck is a STFU

lern to fukin use american fukin language terroist

@previous (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
English language*

@previous (SQUARED :3 !L.....AlN.)
onlee terrirsts use dat

@previous (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
Fuck off.

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Fuck off.

wtf get dis nigga out of her uless he wanna fight

@32,987 (E)
I wasn't serious

@previous (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Didn't think so. But, I just had to be sure.

Oh god lol

@previous (Ninjj !cPIZZADayc)
> joined in

I am proud. Here have some feet.

@previous (sim !.biSsjaMxA)
Maryfeet!

Get fecked.

@33,184 (sim !.biSsjaMxA)
Please let me post tifa.txt ITT.

@previous (psychopath !PAHVpsycho)
Yeah go for it.

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
Every other time I try to results in a 1 hour ban.

@previous (psychopath !PAHVpsycho)
I'll take responsibility for it.

@previous (Killer Lettuce !!iNo3FkiZx)
http://www.tinychan.org/topic/4160#reply_54706
Here you go then.

@32,972 (BRAD !!7wsqJz84l)
Go away.

D: Fuck off.

@33,184 (sim !.biSsjaMxA)

> expect mr bones
> get sim

wut

Tifa knelt by the window with her arms were rested on the window sill. She sighed in contentment, gazing outside. Cloud was out front, mowing the lawn. His shirt was off, which was a big turn-on for Tifa, his wife of two weeks. Tifa laughed as she realized she could stare at him all day. She was rather sad he would finish eventually. He worked out everyday, and his chest really showed that. He was the sexiest man Tifa ever saw.

That didn’t make Tifa fall in love with him, though. They grew up together, and they had secret crushes on each other throughout adolescence. Cloud proposed to her the day after their long adventure, and she immediately accepted. She would never forget that moment, when she felt like she and Cloud were alone in space. They married a week after he proposed, and were rarely seen outside after that.

Anyways, back to the story. Tifa was in the master bedroom on the second floor of their new house, watching the man of her dreams cut the grass. The twenty-year-old woman was watching him mow the lawn for the seventh time. It was a hobby of hers, and the fact that they had a huge yard and that it would take Cloud an extra long time to cut it. Watching how strong he was, she would not move for anything.

Suddenly, Tifa felt a slight rumble in her stomach, but she ignored it. She was having too good of a time watching Cloud. The best par the the mowing routine was the end, when he would come upstairs to shower. Right before he entered the bathroom, she would ask Cloud if they could take a shower together. They would always end up kissing throughout the shower, and they would leave in a better mood than ever. She was so sure he would let her shower with her that she was not wearing underwear under her black mini-skirt.

She felt her stomach rumble again, and sighed. She really didn’t want to leave. She wanted tay tay there for the longest time, watching he husband do the yard. Of course she knew he would do it again, and again, and again, but she cherished every minute of watching him, she could not bear to stop.

Tifa’s stomach rumbled again, louder than the first two times. She realized she had to think of what to do, and quickly. She could run and return immediately, but then she would miss some of the lawn mowing. Her second option was to stay and clean up after herself, but the fear of getting caught made her feel uneasy. This feeling caused her stomach to rumble more. Tifa looked down. The floor was a brand new and very expensive tile floor. It was not a very pleasant idea for her to mess it up.

“Whatever,” muttered Tifa. “When a girl has to shit, a girl has to shit!”

Tifa’s black skirt was actually a wrap-around, and it was easy to remove. Soon, she was bottomless.

Tifa took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pushed and grunted over again, until she felt her anus stretch.

“This is it!” she said aloud, while still pushing and grunting. A crackling sound filled her ears as the turd finally slid out of her body. It was a hard one, dark brown and compressed together. And boy did it stink. Tifa didn’t mind the smell of her own droppings, but she knew it would be difficulty to get away with this.

With Tifa’s shit sitting on the floor, she felt slightly relieved. Tifa let out a long, gassy fart. She giggled, for she tended to have gassy poops. Her relief soon ended, however, as she felt another log traveling from her colon to her rectum. She pushed again, and the turd began to slide out. Unfortunately for poor Tifa, it got stuck halfway.

“I’ll bet that feels good!” said Cloud from behind her.

Tifa immediately jumped up in shock. She was so focused on expelling what was in her gorgeous bowels that Cloud finished the lawn and came up to the bedroom. So there she was, standing there, in a white t-shirt, white socks, red sneakers, and no pants or underwear, and with five inches of shit sticking out of her ass in front of the love of her life. Tifa began to cry, and Cloud approached her and hugged her. She didn’t care her shirt became drenched with his sweat. She wanted her man. She even felt a bulge in his pants, and realized that her taking a dump turned him on.

To Tifa’s surprise, Cloud turned her around and lowered her onto her hands and knees. Tifa was puzzled at first, wondering what he would do, but that puzzle was soon solved as Cloud guided his dicwardward her anus and the shit that hung from it. Cloud moaned as Tifa’s warm poo mashed against his dick. They had had anal sex many timesbefore, but never with a huge turd stuck in Tifa's ass!

Suddenly, Cloud’s dick set the poo that had been stuck in Tifa’s ass free. Tifa’s rectum expelled turdturd. Tifa farted again, and Cloud felt a pleasant breeze on his member.

“Thanks!” exclaimed Tifa.

“Hey, no problem,” said Cloud. “I’m going to shower. Wanna get in there with me?

Tifa struggled to breathe. She and Cloud were at their favorite mall, making out in their favorite corner. They were running their hands over each other, and they knew other people could see, but they didn’t care.

Tifa had worn her tight pair of jean shorts today to show off her butt for Cloud. He always told her how her butt was pretty nice, so she wanted him to see it as much as possible. Cloud put his hands on Tifa’s butt and pushed her into him. Tifa giggled as she felt a bulge in Cloud’s pants.

Suddenly, Tifa desperately freed herself from Cloud's arms. She really had to poop. She told Cloud she needed to run for a second and disappeared into the ladies room. It had only two stalls, and she was the only one in there, so Tifa picked the one nearest to the window and locked the door. She unbuttoned her short jean shorts and wriggle out of them. She hung them on the hook and slipped off her panties, also putting them on the hook. With that, she sat on the toilet, her butt dropping way down into the bowl, with her cheeks being pulled apart in the process.

It was very quiet in the bathroom, and Tifa was kind of spooked. She soon changed that, however, with a windy little fart. Suddenly, Tifa felt her butt hole open up and a little chunk of shit fell out with a splash. The splash seemed to echo forever in the quite restroom. She pushed a little and two more chunks dropped one after another with loud splashes.

She was slightly disappointed, for she thought she was full of droppings. Tifa farted a few more times and felt her butt open again. The smile returned to her face, realizing that a bigger turd wanted out this time. Tifa found it weird hearing the crackle around her anus. The log slid out very slowly, and Tifa could hear nd fnd feel it. Tifa enjoyed the feeling of defecating. Knowing Cloud couldn’t give her anal sex all the time, it was a good substitute.

Tifa’s poo dropped without a splash. She looked down at it, it was about 7 inches long and 2 inches wide, which is normal for her. To her horror, it was stuck halfway! Tifa continued to push and groan, as if she was in labor, but it was no use. The shit did not move. A tear slid down Tifa’s face, realizing she wasn’t going anywhere for a while.

Just then, to Tifa’s surprise, she heard the bathroom door open.

“I'll bet a girl named Tifa is taking a dump in here!”

Tifa’s face turned bright red when she recognized the voice. It was Cloud!

“In here, Cloud!” called Tifa as she unlocked the stall door. She didn’t care what she was doing. She wanted to be with Cloud again.

“Phew! Tifa, what’d you eat?!” demanded Cloud as he opened the door.

“We just had a pepperoni pizza!” replied Tifa.

“So what’s taking so long?”

“Ummm……………..I’m a bit constipated.”

“A bit?!”

Tifa giggled.

“Let me see,” ordered Cloud.

Tifa got up off the toilet, turned around, and bent over. Cloud gazed at the shit hanging from his wife’s gorgeous ass. Cloud tried prying her anus with his fingers, but to no avail.

“Ow! Oow! Ooooowwwwww! Cloud, stop it!” snapped Tifa.

“Sorry,” said Cloud. “I thing I have a more painless idea. Sit on the toilet again.”

Tifa sat back down on the toilet. To her surprise, Cloud pulled his pants down and positioned his cock at the entrance of Tifa’s pussy. Before she could say anything, Cloud began to thrust, slowly at first, but gradually picking up speed. Tifa moaned loudly in responds to Cloud’s love. Soon it happened. Tifa clutched the toilet seat as she orgasm,ed, and to her surprise, the turd that was stuck I her ass dropped right into the bowl.

“Oh Cloud, thank you!” said Tifa as she threw her arms around him, buried her face in his chest, and began to rock him. While she was doing this, she continued to fart loudly and gassily, and dropped chunks into the toilet, but Cloud ignored them It was a job well done.

But all good things must come to an end. The bathroom door opened, and the cops came in. They marched right over to the lovers’ stall and grabbed Cloud and dragged him off of Tifa.

As the police dragged Cloud out, Tifa let out one last fart to set him off.

The shower water sprinkled out of the nozzle as the naked girl spread it out all over her gorgeous body. Cloud was mowing the lawn again, but this time Tifa decided to stay in the shower. She still had a good view of him through the window, and it was possible that the neighbors could see her, but she didn’t care.

Tifa had not been feeling too good for the past few days. She wasn’t sick, she had just been eating a lot lately, then taking ipecac so she wouldn’t get fat.

Soon her loneliness ended. She let out a sigh of relief as she heard the Cloud knock on the bathroom door.

“How are you feeling, Tifa?” asked Cloud, politely as he tried to catch his breath.

“I feel terrible!” giggled Tifa. “Come in!”

With that, the door opened. Cloud was a gentleman, for he would often check on her, yet never come in when Tifa was showering until she gave him permission. He even stood at the bathroom door if she didn’t. Cloud walked in, put the toilet lid down, and had a seat.

“How’s the lawn?” asked Tifa sweetly.

“Boy, it’s getting tougher each time,” replied Cloud.

“Don’t tell me you’re getting old!” joked Tifa.

Cloud laughed back. “Well, it is 90 degrees out, and I’m drenched. Plus, I had to take the trash out.”

A big smile appeared on Tifa’s face. That was the cue he wanted to get into the shower with her. He was too shy to ask explicitly, and Tifa liked that.

“Well,” began Tifa, trying to hide her excitement, “can you do me a couple of favors?”

“What?”

“I forgot my clothes. Would you mind getting them for me?”

“Sure!” exclaimed Cloud. “And the other?”

“When you bring my clothes in, get your naked butt in here and kiss me!”

Slowly, the realization came to her. She needed to poop, and real bad at that.

Gathering her courage, Tifa crossed her legs real tight holding it, then she took one step out of the shower.

“So far, so good,” whispered Tifa to herself.

She took another step toward the toilet, but, suddenly, she started to leak liquid shit! She felt it oozing down her leg, and realized the trouble she was in. She stood there with her legs crossed really tight, holding her poop in and trying to think what to do.

Her thoughts were soon interrupted. Cloud returned to the bathroom without warning. Worse, he had pressed up against Tifa’s back and put one hand on her shoulder. He had startled her, and she started to poop on him! Horrified, Tifa jumped out of the shower and sat on the toilet. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to put the lid up, so she made a mess on the lid. Tifa wanted to relax, but she couldn’t because she knew what she had done. Eventually, she got the lid up, then finally relaxed and just let it all out in the toilet.

Tifa was farting bad and the stink was even worse. She was crying her eyes out at the mess she made. It wasn’t that she had never messed herself before, but never a bathroom.

“I’m sorry, Tifa” cooed Cloud as he wrapped his arms around the shitting girl. “Just let everything out, babe, I’ll clean up.” With that, Cloud picked up a roll of paper towels and kneaded some into a wad. Tifa felt guilty as he wiped the waste off the floor. She understood very well why she loved that man. She even cried a little as he wiped her shit off of him. She just wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

Soon, she was done. She got up off the toilet and flushed, although that didn’t really do anything to kill the smell. Tifa put the lid down, revealing the shit on the lid. Cloud made another wad of paper towels, and then cleaned Tifa’s droppings off of the lid.

“Shit!” grumbled Cloud.

“What happened?” asked Tifa.

“I ran out of paper towels.”

“Uh-oh.”

“Bend over,” ordered Cloud.

Tifa did as she was told. She felt funny to stick her ass up at Cloud when he told her to bend over. Suddenly, she felt a strange feeling behind her. It was almost as if a snake was on her, and she soon realized what was happening. He was eating the waste off of Tifa’s back! Tifa gasped and put her hands over her mouth. She knew Cloud would do a lot for her, but she couldn’t believe he would eat her droppings. Tifa stood in shock as Cloud continued to lap up her feces. She could hear him swallow it, too, and giggle at how much he cared for her.

“Just relax yourself,” said Cloud softly as he swallowed a glob of Tifa’s poop. Tifa felt awful that he was going through all this trouble just for her, but she did just that. She didn't even care as she just let even more poop come out and pee leak out of her. Cloud quickly lapped it all up, and swallowed.

“That’s good, Tifa, just let everything out,” said Cloud again. Tifa farted and giggled, and soon all the waste was off of her. They then filled the tub and took a long, romantic bath together. Then they made love. Tifa realized how lucky she was to have a man like Cloud. It was a good day with a good dump, one that she would look forward to again.
Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, Cid, Barret, Cait Sith, Vincent, Red XIII, and Yuffie were out in the park, seated at the picnic table. They had just finished lunch and were presently talking about memories past.

Tifa suddenly stood up and headed for the bathroom. Cloud grinned, knowing what was about to happen. He winked at Tifa and pretended he didn't know. She was his, but still hot. Everyone would be turned off if they had known about her shit shenanigans.

"Thank the Planet were were so close to the bathroom," she laughed when she got there.

Then, out of the blue, she saw the dreaded sign on the ladies' room door.

OUT OF ORDER

"Fuck," groaned Tifa. "Why are all my bowel movements turning into nightmares?"

With a sigh, she went around behind the barn. It was rather secluded, with trees and leaves keeping her well hidden, a good place for a girl to discharge excretement.

"I'll do this quickly," whispered Tifa as she began to undo her wrap-around black skirt. She carefully removed her panties, as not to stain them.

Tifa stretched her anus wide and felt something slide out from behind. Now there was 4 inches sticking out, 4 fat inches of girl-poo. Tifa continued to push, but the turd would no longer budge.

"COME ON YOU LITTLE BITCH DON'T TEASE ME!" Tifa squealed.

"TIFA?!" cried a familiar soprano.

Tifa turned around in shock.

"AERIS!" she cried in a similar tone. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"

"Isn't it obvious," she giggled.

With that, Aeris slipped off her red jacket and began to unbutton her pink dress. She hung it on the branch of a nearby tree, as Tifa noticed Aeris wasn't wearing a bra nor panties, just her shoes.

"This is so damn scary!" laughed Tifa as she continued to push.

"Right!" giggled Aeris as she squatted. The two girls began to shit in unison.

Suddenly, a tear rolled down Aeris' face.

"What's wrong?" Tifa asked her friend.

"Oh, this just reminds me of an experiance with my first boyfriend, Zack."

With that, Aeris closed her beautiful green eyes and began.

"Zack and I were driving through northern Midgar on the highways. Wel,l I always vowed never to shit or even fart in front of a guy. It just wasn't a lady like thing to do. Until then. And it was in the most embarrassing unlady like fashion. We originally came from Kalm and were on our way to Junon. I remember eating a huge breakfast before we left, but I couldn't shit then so I decided to hold it until we reached Junon. In situations like these, I never succumbed to defeat, so I was pretty confident my butthole would become victorious in the battle against the turds knocking on the door, and I could take care of my business properly like a lady should.

"Anyways, during the entire trip I'd feel my stomach turn and the pain increase as time went on. I just told myself 'you can make it, Aeris girl' and thought about other things. It wasn't until we were about 1 hour away from the outskirts of Junon that I thought this could be the one battle I'm defeated in. There must have been tons of waste backed up in my bowels, and it was attacking my asshole with no mercy. I cleanched my buttcheeks together with full force and told myself to hold out for an hour until we got to the hotel. Due to my nervousness and the thought of impending doom caused me to sweat all over prefusely, and the sweat build-up in my asscrack only seemed to act as a lubricant. Defeat seemed inevitable, and the pain in my intestines was unbearable. And Zack started to notice. He looked over concerned and asked me what was wrong. I was biting my lip and the look of pain across my face was obvious, and I couldn't answer. He asked again, and slowly I asked if we could pull over to a nearby restroom. The sign showed the nearest place a restroom would be, would be about 15 minutes. I couldn't wait that long, and was terrified by what might happen. I continued to strain, but that did no good.

"Then the turd poked its head from out of my rectum. I was wearing a navy blue colored short skirt with no underwear, so the turd obviously hit the surface of seat. I screamed for him to pull over, and confused, he did. I had no other choice, I figured shitting on myself in the car would be more humiliating and would ruin my tights. So I quickly jumped out the car, and thank God I was wearing a skirt so I could pull it up rather quickly, and I squatted, right in front of my boyfriend, cleanched my buttcheeks with my hands as my asshole had the diameter of a tennis ball and I unleashed my stinky brown load. It was watery and lumpy and the same time. I could hear the shit hitting the ground as I was squatting here off the side of the highway. I was completely disgusting. God knows what the people were thinking who were driving by when they saw some woman shitting her guts out on the side of the highway. And it horrified me to know what my boyfriend was thinking. Shit must've poured out of my ass for a good 2 minutes.

"My ego and pride were shattered, and with my head down I asked my boyfriend for something to wipe my ass with. He got out of the car with a look of disbelief on his face and opened the trunk and grabbed some rags for me. Completely defeated, humiliated, and embarrrassed, I wiped my asshole thoroughly and wiped the tiny shit-stain on the inside of my tights, and pulled them back up. I looked at my load on the ground and was startled at how huge a dump I took. We both got in the car and I was too embarrassed to say anything or give an explanation. He looked just as shocked and disgusted as I was. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life."

"What happened after that?" asked Tifa, with a tear rolling down her cheek. She realized she was really touched by the story.

"I pooped on my skirt so it was ruined. When I lamented this, he was like, 'Don't worry, it's just a skirt,' and he ripped it off with a big smile, leaving me in a shirt but no pants, like you are now. Well, we eualluallly got to Junon and we went to the restaurant as usual. The waiter was so polite, even though I'm sure he knew I was bottomless. Zack and I sat down in a booth and had a wonderful talk."

By this time, the final inches of feces had slid out of Aeris' anus. She plucked a leaf from a nearby tree and wiped her butt. Tifa, who still had five inches of poo hanging from her anus, sighed in disappointment. She would soon be alone again. But her spirits were lifted when Aeris did something very unexpected: Before dressing, she hugged her friend and pecked her on the cheek.

Tifa was a closet bisexual, and Cloud knew, but she had never been kissed by a girl before. She realized this was the beginning of something more.

@previous (dreamworks4mayor '11 !xPoNIEsltA)

do nazi germany kingdom hearts now lol

@previous (M)
Disclaimer: Would I like to own the Third Reich? um...no? It's Mika-chan! I write so many chapers of WWII for Roulette, this one just came to mind!
No, I am NOT a Nazi, but i love learning about Nazi Germany. I have no idea why...I loved writing this first chapter and i hope you guys love reading it! Let the deadly tale begin!

Axel ran through the streets of Berlin, dressed in his formal attire. He knew that the Führer would not be pleased if Axel was late for the meeting. Especially when Himmler had already told him to be at the Führerbunker at 11 sharp. Axel looked at his watch and learned that it was indeed 10:54. He frantically took a shortcut through a side alley and found himself at his destination. After walking through the doors, the redhead found himself face-to-face with Himmler, the head of the SS and Axel's father. Axel stood straight and raised his right hand in the air at an angle in traditional Nazi fashion. After Himmler did the same, both men lowered their arms and became less formal.

"You are nearly late, Axel." Himmler said, looking disapprovingly at the redhead.

"My apologies." Axel said.

"The Führer is not ready yet." Himmler said.

"What is he doing?" Axel asked. "He told me to have my report done by today, did he not?"

"That he did." Himmler said. "He is currently meeting with Riku right now."

"If you say so…" Axel said. "Have you seen Roxas yet, Father?"

"He is with Goebbles at the moment." Himmler said. "Why?"

"I wanted to speak with him." Axel said. "He is my friend, after all."

"And you could not have chosen a better friend." Himmler said. "He is the perfect Aryan."

Himmler was referring to the "perfect German": the Aryan. Anyone who was not Aryan, that is to say blonde hair and blue eyes, was often looked down upon. Axel was only a Nazi because his father was a very important man in the Third Reich. Himmler had allowed his son to get his current job: aiding the running of Bergen-Belsen. Axel didn't really like the job, but he figured he should take anything he got.

"It's not because he is Aryan, Father." Axel said. "We have a lot in common."

"If you say so." Himmler didn't quite believe his son, but knew that it would be pointless to tell him otherwise.

"Do you know when he will be done?" Axel asked.

"I have no idea." Himmler said.

"Well, I'm going to see of the Führer is ready for me yet." Axel said.

He gave his father the Nazi salute and left for the lower levels of the bunker. He found Hitler's office on the 3rd floor, or rather, the 3rd floor underground.

After knocking twice, he waited for the Führer's permission to enter. Upon entering, Axel's peridot eyes found Adolf Hitler sitting at his desk, reading the Nazi newspaper. When he saw that Axel was present, both men stood up, saluted each other, then sat back down.

"I trust you have the report?" Hitler said.

"Yes, sir." Axel said.

He opened the folder he was holding and read from the report. "2,000 Jews were admitted into Bergen-Belsen last week. Of that number, 948 men, 153 women, and 57 children were killed. Their bodies were burned in the crematoriums."

"How were they killed?" Hitler asked.

"Some were killed immediately by gas chambers, some were shot." Axel informed Hitler. "All others were put to work and died from exhaustion."

"Very good, very good." Hitler said to himself.
"Is there anything else, mein Führer?" Axel asked.

"I've been thinking of entering you in the SS." Hitler said. "You have already met the required needs to join."

"If you may permit my asking, sir, why should I be in the SS?" Axel asked.

He had never thought of himself being in the SS. He didn't like being in the death camps, but what good what he be in the SS?

"I think you would benefit being in the SS." Hitler said.

"When do you want me to start, sir?" Axel asked.

"I would like you to start on Monday." Hitler said. "You can find out more information if you need it from your father, I expect."

"Is that all, mein Führer?" Axel asked.

"It is." Hitler said. "You are dismissed."

Both men gave the Nazi salute and Axel left the office. He ran down the hall and up the stairs in search of Roxas. He crashed into the blonde on the stairwell between the second and first floors.

"Axel, slow down." Roxas smiled at his friend's hyperactivity.

"Roxas! I was just coming to find you. Guess what the Führer told me?" Axel asked, dragging Roxas up the rest of the stairs.

"What?" Roxas asked his friend as they made it outside the Führerbunker.

"I'm going to be in the SS!" Axel jumped up and down.

"Wow! Congrats, Axel! You'll be with me now." Roxas was also in the SS.

"I know!" Axel smiled.

"So when do you start?" Roxas asked as they went down to the corner market for some lunch.

"On Monday." Axel replied. "I can't wait! I mean, I'll be with you all day!"

"Did the Führer say that?" Roxas asked.

"No, but I think I will be." Axel said. "I mean, he knows that we're best friends, so he should put us together."

"I'm rounding up Jews on Monday." Roxas said. "Maybe I can convince the Führer to let you come with me."

"That would be great." Axel said with a smile. "Where are you rounding?"

"5th, 6th, 7th, 8th and 13th streets." Roxas said. "Your dad has me doing serious errands, you know?"

"Dad's a bit crazy sometimes." Axel said. "But I wouldn't be working here if he wasn't my father."

"I better meet up with Marluxia, Zexion and Saïx." Roxas said. "I'm supposed to meet them at Xemnas' apartment. I guess I'll see you tomorrow? You're coming to my place, right?"

"Sure." Axel said with a nod. "I'll see you then."

Roxas gave a smile then a wave and walked off. As Axel watched the blonde go, an uneasy feeling erupted in his stomach. Axel had a feeling he knew what this feeling was. He'd felt it when he'd seen some cute girls back at grade school. But if he was in love with Roxas, he would be gay, which was looked down upon by Nazis. What was a guy to do? Yes, Himmler is Axel's father. It fits.

next chapter: word of the death camps comes to Axel and Roxas

@previous (psychopath !PAHVpsycho)

lol i want to shake the man's hand who wrote that

Half-Life: Full-life Consequences

John Freeman who was Gordon Freemans brother was one day in an office typing on a computer. He got an email from his brother that said that aliens and monsters were attacking his place and aksed him for help so he went.

John Freeman got his computer shut down and wet on the platform to go up to the roof of the building where he left his motorcycle and normal people close because he was in his office lab coat. John Freeman got on his motorcycl and said "its time for me to live up to my family name and face full life consequences" so he had to go.

John Freeman ramped off the building and did a backflip and landed. He kept driving down the road and made sure there was no zombies around because he ddint have weapon.

The contrysides were nice and the plants were singing and the birds and the sun was almost down from the top of the sky. the mood was set for John Freemans quest to help his brother where he was. John Freeman looked around the countrysides and said "its a good day to do what has to be done by me and help my brother to defeat the enemys".

John Freeman was late so he had to drive really fast. A cop car was hiden near by so when John Freeman went by the cops came and wanted to give him a ticket. Here John Freeman saw the first monster because the cop was posessed and had headcrabs.

"I cant give you my lisense officer" John Freeman said

"Why not?" said the headcrab oficer back to John Freeman.

"Because you are headcrab zombie" so John Freeman shot the oficer in the head and drove off thinking "my brother is in trouble there" and went faster.

John Freeman had to go faster like the speed of sound and got there fast because Gordon needed him where he was. John Freeman looked at road signs and saw "Ravenholm" with someons writing under it saying "u shudnt come here" so John Freeman almost turned around but heard screaming like Gordon so he went faster again.

John Freeman drove in and did another flip n jumped off his motorbike and the motor bike took out some headcrab zombies infront of John Freeman. John Freeman smiled and walked fast. John Freeman then looked on the ground and found wepon so he pickd it up and fired fast at zombie goasts in front of a house.

John Freeman said "Zombie goasts leave this place" and the zombie goasts said "but this is our house" and John Freeman felt sorry for them becaus they couldnt live there anymore because they were zombie goasts so he blew up the house and killed the zombie goasts so they were at piece.

Then John Freeman herd another scream from his brother so he kept walking really faster to get where he was. Ravenholdm was nothing like the countrysides there was no birds singing and the pants were dead and teh dirt was messy and bloody from headcrabs.

When John Freeman got to where the screaming was started from he found his brother Gorden Freeman fightin the final bosss and Gordon said "John Freeman! Over here!" so John Freeman went there to where Gordon Freeman was fighting. John Freeman fired his bullet from teh gun really fast and the bullets went and shot the final boss in the eyes and the final boss couldnt see.

Gordon Freeman said "its time to end this ones and for all!" and punched the final boss in the face and the final boss fell. John Freeman said "thanks i could help, bro" and Gordon Freeman said "you should come here earlier next time" and they laughed.

The laughed overed quickly though because John Freeman yelled "LOOK OUT BRO!" and pointed up to the top of the sky. Gordon Freeman looked up and said "NOO! John Freeman run out of here fast as you can!" and John Freeman walked real fast out.

John Freeman loked back and saw Gordon get steppd on by the next boss and he was mad and angry.

"I'll get you back evil boss!" John Freeman yelled at the top of lungs.

John Freeman walked like speed of light back to his motorcycl and left behind the bad place behind him. John Freeman had to ride his motorcycle really fast back to the office but John Freemans gas ran out. John Freeman jumped fast off the motorcycle and landed on dead peoples hands.

"Gordon Freeman is now these hands... i must kill the next boss and live up to full-life consequences!" John Freeman said out loud.

John Freeman picked up a laser gun and aimed it at trees to see if he could. John Freeman shot and tree fell down in front of him. John Freeman seen eggs fall out of the tree and he put them back home safe.

"These birds dont have to see Gordon Freeman yet. its not time." John Freeman said to him.

John Freeman had to walked faster and was back at his office work and on a computer. He looked on the internet and found the next boss.

"I know his weakness now" John Freeman said. And after that he got emails from someone. John Freeman opened up the emails and read them.

"Dear John Freeman, how are you? I miss you at home come home safe and soon with Gordon Freeman for thanksgiving dinner. Love mom." John Freeman looked at it and got sad and yelled "I WILL KILL THE BOSS AND GORDON FREEMAN WILL BE HAPPY SOUL!" then he turned on off the computer and wet on the platform again down to his other more faster motorcycle that had gas in it this time.

John Freeman put the laser gun on his motorcycle and his machine gun and his rocket gun that he found on the side of the motorcycle. He went through traffic and went fast like litning to back to Ravenholm and back to the bad place where Gordon Freeman was. John Freeman went off road and did backflips and landed on back wheels but kept going too.

John Freeman went really fast again like before and was soon back again at Ravenholm but saw more zombie goasts. John Freeman said to them "Zombie goasts i have killed your friends at the old house and i dont want to shoot your heads. move near the countrysides and you will be friends of John Freeman." The zombie goasts said that "no we will kill you" and walked fast to John Freemans motorcycle. John Freeman waited until they were in front of his motorcycle and backflipped off his bars and shot heads below and landed and walked fast to where the next boss was.

"you will be one of us!" yelled the dead zombie goasts. John Freeman laughed and shot a rocket at them.

John Freeman saw the next boss far down the road and walked slow this time. He walked really slow like a turtle and sat down on a rock and watched the next boss near the dead last boss and where the place that Gordon Freeman was. The next boss was laughing at John Freeman so John Freeman said "YOU WILL NOT LAUGH AT ME!" and shot a rocket at him since that was his weakness.

The next boss died and John Freeman was happy. He walked over to the dead bosses and put them under the ground and planted pants on them so instead of messy dirt and dark there was pretty things there now to be happy.

John Freeman walked to where Gordon Freeman was lying dead and crushed from the next bosss feet and looked down. A tear droped out of John Freemans eye and landed on Gordon Freeman.

"You are dead bro and i killed the evil boss." John Freeman told Gordon Freeman

Then John Freeman saw something bad. A headcrab was on Gordon Freeman! Gordon Freeman standed up and said "John Freeman... you got here slow and now i am zombie goast. you will pay..."

In the future the world was dark and scarry. One day Combines came and noone knew why. Combines were robot things that werent robots with ugly faces and sometimes glowing eyes and slaved people in the city and made them angry and sad. Henry Freeman who was living in the city and with his mom said "mom why are Combines here" and she said "Henry Freeman Combines are from science and outter space and hate humens."

Henry Freeman realy hated Combines because they beat up every one and Henry Freeman hated it. "mom why are they beating up that girl!" Henry Freeman said to his mom. "Because she is humen Henry Freeman, and they are evil Combines" Henry Freemans mom said back.

"Hey you Combines stop beating her up you evil guys!" Henry Freeman yelled loud at them. "Shut up kid or you will pay!" the Combines said and aimed there lazer guns at Henry Freemans head. "Combines dont aim your lazers!" yelled mom then the Combines shot her and laughed "Ha ha stupid humen girl with no head" they said with smiles.

Henry Freeman grabed his moms hand and said "mom you were beautiful soul and Combines will pay." "Henry Freeman no get out of here fast as you can..." Henry Freemans mom said and died. Then Henry Freeman grabbed a wepon and shot the Combines in the heart and said "this is not over."

The people around Henry Freeman cheerd and smiled and said "good job Henry Freeman we hate those Combines!" Combines made people fraid and when Henry Freeman killed them it gave them hop.

"Combines we are not scarred no more!" said Henry Freeman and every one around Henry Freeman said "YEAH!" and grabbed lazer guns and rocks. Henry Freeman and the people walked fast like waves and went towards to the Combine tower that was big like the sky.

"Where do you humen think you are going?" a big Combine army with lots of striders said.

"To send you back to science and outter space!" Henry Freeman yelled with mad "ATTACK THE COMBINES!" Henry Freeman yelled again.

The war was going and blowing things up when Henry Freeman saw a gravity gun on the ground. "Combines it is time to do what has to be done and live up to my family name" Henry Freeman wispered with head down.

The Combines were shoting people and steping on them with stiders and people were shooting lazer guns back and killing them sometimes. Explosions like 10 times of the sun went around Henry Freeman but Henry Freeman didnt care.

"Humen kind is losing and I need to help" Henry Freeman said. Then a big rocket came down and blew a guys arm off and legs and head and killed other people too.

Henry Freeman saw the dead going on all around. The Combine were to strong and big but Henry Freeman didnt care neither. Henry Freeman put the gravity gun on and started to throw striders and at buildings. The bildings fell and made dust and smoke and blinded Combines so Henry Freeman culd use the gravity gun to throw them into the sky realy high and make them squish.

The people were wining but then glowing things went in the sky and Combines came out. "Henry Freeman we have to go out of here!" a guy said to Henry Freeman. "No they are all every where!" another guy said.

"You are surounded prepair to die" the dark man said.

Henry Freeman lookd around. Combines with lazer guns were there. Henry Freeman knew if humens lost now it would be sad for ever.

"FIGHT" Henry Freeman yelled.

People runned toward the Combines to kill them and the Combines were going to shoot all the people in a second when a brite light came in teh sky. A shiny thing like the Combines came from opend in the sky and a guy came out.

"Combines leave my son alone" John Freeman said.

John Freeman backfliped out of the sky and landed besides Henry Freeman. Henry Freeman looked at John Freeman in the eyes and cry falled out and said "Dad mom has dead". John Freeman went sad at the ground then moved head real fast up.

"COMBINES YOU KILLD WIFE?" John Freeman said with growls.

"Yes John Freeman" the dark man said after "Henry Freemans mom is shot in head" the dark man said again.

"I loved wife like sun raise... DARK MAN YOU WILL SUFFAR!" John Freeman ponted and yelled.

John Freeman jumpd in to sky with kicks and hit dark man and the dark mans mask ript off and John Freeman seed ugly Combine face but it looked like humen tooo. the dark man scrumbled back to Combines and Combines went to shoot John Freeman but Henry Freeman throwed granaid for John Freeman to shot them in faces.

"Son take people and leave the city its time I have to kill the enemys and make evil go away from here forrest of time!" John Freeman said to Henry Freeman and people.

"John Freeman we fight!" people said and didnt go no where.

"Dad humens have to fight for freedome!" Henry Freeman said and didnt go no where neither.

John Freeman was fraid for first time. He didnt want nothing to happen to Henry Freeman because Henry Freeman was John Freeman saw Combines start to run like monsters to humens and Henry Freeman and saw Henry Freeman and humens run like brave to Combines. John Freeman got quiet then dropped wepon and said "I have to kill fast and bullets too slow" and started killing Combines with bear hands.

John Freeman was killing Combines and barking necks and humens and Henry Freeman was behind shooting at Combines at front. Now Combines got scarred and ranned back to the dark man who was at the door to the big tower that was big onto the sun and went around the dark man and got redy to fight again. then the dark man pressed the button that made the big tower glow and smoke.

"John Freeman you let next boss step on me and made me headcrab zombie. Combines came and put science in me and made me live and strong and big now I make you and Henry Freeman headcrab zombie. Prepair to die" Gordon Freeman said.

"Gordon Freeman you are my bro and I killed next boss. Combines science is bad and made you tricked bro stop the button and glowing." John Freeman said.

"NO!" Gordon Freeman angered back.

Gordon Freeman teleportaled to John Freeman and hit him with crow bar and John Freeman tried to grabe it but couldnt so he punched Gordon Freeman instead. John Freeman and Gordon Freeman was fighting for life and death when the Combines and humens started shoting each other again. Henry Freeman got in front of humens and saw the tower smoke and glow more and more like litning clouds.

Henry Freeman shout "It will explod!" so Henry Freeman and the people shot bullets and bombs at Combines so humen kind could press the botton and make it stop. Then Henry Freeman went to a Combines car and shoot all the Combines in it and went to the top and used the torret gun. Henry Freeman made the torret gun shoot Combines and bullets cut them in two and half.

Henry Freeman kept shooting Combines and the rest of humens got closer and closer to button to stop it. The Combines shot at the humens and made some die but no one cared becaus they had to do it. Then Combines started coming out of the hug tower to stop the humens. There was too much Combines and humens couldnt go to the button no more and the tower was all smoke and glow now expect for a little bit.

John Freeman knew it was too late and humens couldnt stop button. John Freeman had barley time but was still fighting Gordon Freeman.

"Bro it is time Im sorry" John Freeman said to Gordon Freeman.

"time for you to die John Freeman!" Gordon Freeman said back.

"No bro" John Freeman said then kicked Gordon Freeman in teh part of the face that was like Combines.

The science flew off Gordon Freemans face and landed and blowed up in a boom and Gordon Freeman stood and fall. "Bro.." Gordon Freeman said so John Freeman got closer to the ground like Gordon Freeman.

"Combines made me tricked bro Im sorry" Gordon Freeman said.

"I know bro but you are hero" John Freeman said back to comfart Gordon.

"Save humens and Henry Freeman" Gordon Freeman said quiet like pain and breathed slower and slower

John Freeman had Gordon Freeman and saw eyes shut and the breath stoped but Gordon Freeman had smiles on face.

John Freeman let go Gordon Freeman and went up back on his feet and loked his head around and saw trees and aminals and humens then looked at glowy tower and knew what has to be done. "Son and people get back!" John Freeman said out real loud so Henry Freeman frontflipped off torret and went with people back to John Freeman and ducked bullets and rackets.

"Son take people on motorcycle and leave city. Make people safe son and nothing happen to them." John Freeman said to Henry Freeman.

"But dad I fight!" Henry Freeman said.
"No son go with people" John Freeman said so Henry Freeman and humens went on motorcycle.

Henry Freeman started on motorcycl and started to go but slow becaus he didnt want to. the Combines saw and said "STOP THE HUMENS!" and went charge at motorcycle.

John Freeman walked to wards Combines and made fists with hands. John Freeman punchd and hit Combines in front but all Combines in back shot rockets and masheen guns. a Rocket hit John Freeman but he got up and killed more Combines then a Combine went at John Freemans back and stabed him but John Freeman got nife out and stabbed Combine in brane. Combines got close and hit John Freeman body with bullets but John Freeman kicked Combines back.

John Freeman kept fighting Combines and put head up to tower and saw it go brite and break then turned around in last second and saw motorcycle in far off safe place and was happy. Henry Freeman and the people in the motorcycle saw the tower go like millon stars and fire and loud noises then the people went down but Henry Freeman kept going and didnt say nothing.

After the world was nice and humens had new city and happy because the Combines was gone and nobody was slave or sad. President Henry Freeman and people and animals and earth had peace and in the middle of new city was a statue that said "John Freeman Saver of Humens"

THE END

This is a Certified Shitposting Threadâ„¢

@33,657 (psychopath !PAHVpsycho)

also, any news on part 2? this shit cracks me up

@33,700 (Expert Moderation Expert)
needs more shitpony.png

Fuuuuuuuuuck you!!!!!

...I don't know this guy in any way.
Really...

@previous (TCO !pBSojAzWyU)
He's the best person you've directed here yet, in my opinion :D

Ionise Brad and TCO (and anyone that seems like his faggot butt-buddies). Fuck him and that fat fuck that keeps bringing in all these cancerous retards.

@35,528 (psychopath !PAHVpsycho)
> CANCER NEWFAGS SHITTING UP /b/ PLSGO F /b/ IS SO SHITTY NOW

lol faggots

@previous (Zimbolt !Q0UkqV0C6.)
i tried to skype you about brad and how i liked it but skype wouldn't let me skype u

mis u

@35,552 (Zimbolt !Q0UkqV0C6.)
holy shit

skype hates you

it gave me pop up bubbles like 'hey zims trying to talk to you'

but there is no zimbox

what's going on
try again
i will click the bubble

lol