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Topic: YODEL failed to deliver my computer today so now I have to wait another 4 days.
Anonymous A started this discussion 15 years ago#14,284
I sent an angry email to customer care, and it turned out very sarcastic. Though I'd share it.
Dear Customer Care,
Today (Saturday the 19th of November) I expected the delivery of a package I had been waiting for for some time. Knowing that the package could be delivered from anytime from 7am to 12pm, I waited by my large front window for the entire time - with clear vision of the front door - for the delivery driver to come along and deliver my package, as you would expect any delivery driver to actually try to attempt.
Imagine my shock when I updated my YODEL parcel tracking service at 11:50 and discovered that at 11:22 the driver had apparently come along, knocked on the door, found nobody at home and then left a card! Of course, no such thing happened; nobody came through my gate, nobody knocked on my door, nobody failed to notice the person sat in a chair next to the prominent bay window at a 90 degree angle to the front door and straight ahead when walking through the gate and nobody left a card.
Perhaps if the driver had his head twisted 180 degrees or was moonwalking down my garden path, he might have missed my physical presence at my house. However, this also involves him being too weak to make the knocking motion at my door and also delivering a card made out of helium gas instead of the more commonly-used paperboard. Personally, I just think that he decided he couldn't be bothered to drive to my house and would rather clock off and go home. The idea that he couldn't find my house is laughable, since even Google Maps can trace my post code to the correct area and there is a large "[redacted]" on the door which generally does a great job of informing people such as delivery drivers that my house is number "[redacted]".
Since either no card was left or the card dissipated into the atmosphere upon delivery, I had trouble contacting the Ashton delivery office. I rang the general YODEL helpline and was given the number to ring. So, eager to schedule a redelivery that day, I navigated through the maze of ambiguous options and was waiting in the queue for several minutes before my phone appeared to seize up and die. Confused, I re-rang the number, only to be informed that the Ashton delivery office was now closed for the day and could I please try to ring during working hours. You read that part correctly: rather than try to resolve the issues of people who rang before 12PM, they instead opted to pull the plug and shut down for the day.
This is not 1970s Sheffield and I did not expect a reputable delivery company to just immediately hang up on everybody and close the shutters at one second past 12.
After headbutting my desk a few times, I re-rang the general YODEL helpline again and was informed that I now have to wait for Tuesday before receiving my package and that there is nothing to be done about that. The customer care worker I was speaking to was very good at his job and performed the task of generally hinting "tough luck, you'll just have to deal with it" without actually saying so admirably.
The entire problem rests with the delivery driver. I have already built up an image of him in my mind - a piggish, unkept type who upon seeing my address, exclaimed (perhaps in a broad Yorkshire accent) "Ah'm no' draavin' all the way owt thaar! Ah want to ghow down t'butty shop r'haat nhow!". If I could have my way I would have him disgraced, bankrupted and forced to march down the street in his underwear with a sign saying "layabout" upon it. However, I will also settle for him losing his job and never delivering another YODEL parcel again. His talents certainly already seem to lie in that particular field.
My name is James Duncan and my Parcel Number is [redacted].