Anonymous A started this discussion 4 weeks ago#136,984
I've been going out with a rather peculiar girl. She's nice in many ways but has these rather bad tendencies of treating herself poorly.
So today she broke down in treats revealing how she's been raped. I passed off the thought as once. She dove deeper as I had felt a duty to really listen as she emptied out the burden of what she's holding. So 7+ times, she's forgotten really. The last time was she purposefully sought out a guy to go on a date with and likely chose him knowing he'd spike her drink and rape her. Well it happened and she said she wasn't asking for it.
I'm just not sure what to do now. She's a good quality woman, but really this disgusted me.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 4 weeks ago, 3 hours later[^][v]#1,452,660
This probably sounds bad, but uh, mental health can go wrong in ways that are maybe not politically correct to talk about, but even if you feel bad for somebody, it doesn’t have to be your problem. At least that’s my take. I’m not saying it’s her fault, it’s not, but 7 times is kind of a lot, if she has a personality trait where she seeks out people that hurt her, that’s a self destructive tendency and whatever is driving it, I’d stay away from that.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 4 weeks ago, 1 hour later, 4 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,452,666
@previous (B) > it doesn’t have to be your problem
This is key. You can be there for someone now but you can't unpack a lifetime of trauma and fix someone. Set boundaries.