@OP
> Could anything be more intimate and loving?
I knew two sisters who had been abused by their stepfather. I picked up his cremains as a favor to them. They called me panicked, didn’t want anything to do with him. Inspired, I ended up pouring them into a rest stop toilet, which they thanked me for. Let the perv languish amid the muck.
@previous (B)
Some states let single men adopt children. If you don't need the usual financial hardship waivers they'll let you have your pick.