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sluggy started this discussion 15 years ago#13,611
Over the past 5 years everyone who has gotten to know me has come to the conclusion I'm gay. This isn't paranoia or a delusion. very recently I was riding in the back seat of a taxi with a small group and the conversation drifted towards homosexuality or gay pride or something. And the girl in the front seat literally turned around and started talking to me personally even though I hadn't said anything during the entire car trip. Most people aren't that obvious, but she was drunk at the time so I partly saw that coming when the topic came up.
I don't fault people for it. Talking about sex and sexual experiences is a normal part of most people's lives. I can't talk about any of it because I haven't had any in many years and probably never will again. I can't even talk about what I am attracted to because I know it'd end with people asking me why I'm never in a relationship, hitting on women,or generally doing things most people do naturally without second thought.
I'm past the point of being able to correct people about not being gay. It's extremely embarrassing. I'm even considering embracing this fake identity. People can sympathize with a closet homosexual. They can't sympathize the guy with severe social anxiety--its contrary to the very core of masculinity and what women are attracted to. Maybe things will be better if they ever start a heterosexual pride movement and I can finally come out.