Topic: Minitwitter #45: British BBS Edition
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE started this discussion #135,936
Post your current status, mates! /|_ .---------------------.
,' .\ /|Oi, cheeky pint down |
,--' _,' |the Frog and Bucket? |
/ / `---------------------'
( -. |
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(`-. '--.)
`. )----'Green !pDif3ODBl. joined in and replied with this , 42 minutes later[^] [v] #1,443,494
We're both from the South.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU joined in and replied with this , 1 hour later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,498
Erik !saAqdaazn2 joined in and replied with this , 6 hours later, 8 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,546
Sitting on the Elizabeth line.
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 21 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,547
I can't stand Andy Burnham to be honest.
@1,443,498 (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
It's could be North if you were in space.
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Never been on that line. I've heard it's the best line and doesn't make you deaf.
@1,443,498 (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
It's could be North if you were in space.
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Never been on that line. I've heard it's the best line and doesn't make you deaf.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 19 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,706
Erik !saAqdaazn2 double-posted this , 48 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,715
On the Elizabeth line. Ama me anything.Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 23 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,717
I have no strong opinions on the Elizabeth Line. It seems like a normal tube to me. Though I do like that it connects to Paddington Station.
@1,443,547 (Green !pDif3ODBl.)
> I can't stand Andy Burnham to be honest.
Sorry, lad. I know that not everybody here shares my political views. So I just tried to generate an alternative OP image, that had Nigel Farage flying in to save the UK from the Muslims and woke people, but it declined. š
I even asked Grok, the unbiased AI!
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Racial mix of the carriage you're in?
@1,443,547 (Green !pDif3ODBl.)
> I can't stand Andy Burnham to be honest.
Sorry, lad. I know that not everybody here shares my political views. So I just tried to generate an alternative OP image, that had Nigel Farage flying in to save the UK from the Muslims and woke people, but it declined. š
I even asked Grok, the unbiased AI!
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Racial mix of the carriage you're in?
(Edited 45 seconds later.)
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,759
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Other than the two white people caught in this picture everyone was a fucking Indian.
This is not my country anymore.
Other than the two white people caught in this picture everyone was a fucking Indian.
This is not my country anymore.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 double-posted this , 35 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,760
Im gonna listen to the shipping forecast
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this , 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,762
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 6 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,828
Anonymous E replied with this , 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,841
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 55 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,857
I have done it. I am wearing a winchester shirt with cufflinks today.
Maybe I look like a bit of a twat, but I think that I look like I'm gonna maximise shareholder value today. š
Also, fun bit of trivia, the Winchester that winchester shirts are named for it Oliver Winchester, as in the guy the winchester rifle is named after. Before he got into gun making, he had a company that made clothes.
Maybe I look like a bit of a twat, but I think that I look like I'm gonna maximise shareholder value today. š
Also, fun bit of trivia, the Winchester that winchester shirts are named for it Oliver Winchester, as in the guy the winchester rifle is named after. Before he got into gun making, he had a company that made clothes.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 19 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,869
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
You would never guess what Hitler did before he ran Germany.
You would never guess what Hitler did before he ran Germany.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this , 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,911
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this , 11 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,990
Matt really likes England but he contracted sexually transmitted gingivitis.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 hour later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,443,999
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 10 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,444,005
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 week later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #1,445,990
Fuck I just got dive bombed by a seagull and lost my pasty. š
They're the dominant species here now...
They're the dominant species here now...
Anonymous I joined in and replied with this , 8 hours later, 1 week after the original post[^] [v] #1,446,055
Meta joined in and replied with this , 6 days later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,447,335
Andy's gonna crash and Burnham like Starmer did.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this , 16 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,447,395
Meta replied with this , 3 hours later, 2 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,447,414
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 1 day later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,447,534
I just lost the game.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 3 days later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,523
I saw The Odyssey today. Absolutely kino.
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this , 5 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,602
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Everyone's saying it's shit now. When are you going to change your opinion?
Everyone's saying it's shit now. When are you going to change your opinion?
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 13 minutes later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,605
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,694
@1,448,602 (M)
I think a lot of people on the internet are passionate about disliking it, but it's been extremely successful so it clearly has it's fans.
@previous (Green !pDif3ODBl.)
Mate!
I think a lot of people on the internet are passionate about disliking it, but it's been extremely successful so it clearly has it's fans.
@previous (Green !pDif3ODBl.)
Mate!
Anonymous N joined in and replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,728
Anonymous O joined in and replied with this , 7 hours later, 3 weeks after the original post[^] [v] #1,448,790
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 3 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,449,645
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,449,650
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this , 56 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,449,673
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 22 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,449,914
Yesterday I discovered in my fridge an onion and a pepper from June, and a few chilli peppers that had Mid-July on them. I also had a firecracker curry sauce that had May BBD. So I decided to make spicy spicy chilli with some out of date frozen beef.
It was delicious! However it upset my tummy because it was so spicy. Today I also ate some fried halloumi and the oil didn't agree with the spicy spicy chilli. I had a case of Sudden Onset Explosive Diarrhoea at the office, it was really awful and got all over my hands and in my hair.
It was delicious! However it upset my tummy because it was so spicy. Today I also ate some fried halloumi and the oil didn't agree with the spicy spicy chilli. I had a case of Sudden Onset Explosive Diarrhoea at the office, it was really awful and got all over my hands and in my hair.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 10 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,449,983
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Next time don't wear any clothing to work so when you spray poop everywhere you don't run the risk of soiling yourself.
Next time don't wear any clothing to work so when you spray poop everywhere you don't run the risk of soiling yourself.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 5 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,134
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
I used to wonder how svet would get it on his hands and wrists and I wonder no longer, it's actually so easily done.
I used to wonder how svet would get it on his hands and wrists and I wonder no longer, it's actually so easily done.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 5 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,150
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
It really and truly is not easy you are just not potty trained.
It really and truly is not easy you are just not potty trained.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 3 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,164
Crumbs, first Svet and now Oatmeal Fucker... Looks like shitting yourself is becoming a craze on Minichan...
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 42 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,169
@1,450,150 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
If it's so easy, why did it happen again today? It got on my hands again and under my fingernails.
If it's so easy, why did it happen again today? It got on my hands again and under my fingernails.
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 4 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,196
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,404
@1,450,169 (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Some useful info for you
https://www.wikihow.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child
Some useful info for you
https://www.wikihow.com/Potty-Train-Your-Child
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,491
Today I went to work naked, because I was working at home. They've given me a job being the boss so I came in an hour late and spent all day watching YouTube.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU double-posted this , 1 day later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,751
I'm still doing nothing at work. Nobody appears to have noticed. Everyone is congratulating me on doing a great job stepping up to the boss job and being a great employee. I feel like an imposter.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 24 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,753
@1,450,491 (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Thank you for taking my advice. You were able to spray diarrhea all over and not worry about it getting on your clothing. One day you will be able to do that without being naked but it's a start.
Thank you for taking my advice. You were able to spray diarrhea all over and not worry about it getting on your clothing. One day you will be able to do that without being naked but it's a start.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 6 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,769
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
It went up my back today because I accidentally wiped too far and it spread like butter.
It went up my back today because I accidentally wiped too far and it spread like butter.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 16 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,890
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
That's ok you can try again another day. It does seem to be a problem for British men in this forum though.
That's ok you can try again another day. It does seem to be a problem for British men in this forum though.
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 2 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,895
This is a battle of wits.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 40 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,897
@1,450,890 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Firstly, I think you are a bit too fixated on this. But secondly, I do not have those kinds of issues and am anti-shitting myself.
Firstly, I think you are a bit too fixated on this. But secondly, I do not have those kinds of issues and am anti-shitting myself.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 1 hour later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,913
@1,450,895 (Green !pDif3ODBl.)
Battle of shits.
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
How can you be anti shitting? That is like being anti breathing. You are somehow even more insane than the person shitting on themselves as an able bodied adult.
Battle of shits.
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
How can you be anti shitting? That is like being anti breathing. You are somehow even more insane than the person shitting on themselves as an able bodied adult.
(Edited 14 seconds later.)
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 2 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,450,925
@1,450,890 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
Today I managed it! The secret is that wiping is a scam. I just went in the shower instead, after washing all the spiders away.
Today I managed it! The secret is that wiping is a scam. I just went in the shower instead, after washing all the spiders away.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 2 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,451,267
Man, Ghost Recon: Breakpoint is going for peanuts on Steam, right now. Usually I find Ubisoft open world games to be a little bland and soulless, but in the short term they can be pretty fun. Customising a lone soldier and then sneaking around knocking down enemy bases is fun in small bursts.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 2 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,451,280
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgx1kpz17go
They've discovered an ancient roman shipwreck
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cvgx1kpz17go
They've discovered an ancient roman shipwreck
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 23 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,451,281
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 13 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,451,572
I love working in insurance. I get to decline claims for all kinds of reasons if they don't strictly comply with Terms and Conditions.
In very familiar with the product, so I decline a lot. And then they complain and I investigate myself and find that I did nothing wrong.
In very familiar with the product, so I decline a lot. And then they complain and I investigate myself and find that I did nothing wrong.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU double-posted this , 3 days later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,452,171
I've been taking these supplements from Temu and suddenly my piss and shit is bright green?
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 31 minutes later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,452,182
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 18 hours later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,452,319
Anonymous T joined in and replied with this , 1 week later, 1 month after the original post[^] [v] #1,453,792
Faggots lol
Lady Dead !Pool..v42s joined in and replied with this , 4 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,454,743
Anonymous T replied with this , 2 weeks later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,457,606
Faggots lol
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 12 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,457,858
I had a go at a lamb roast yesterday, and it was excellent. I have been missing out my whole life, I have to eat more lamb now.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 1 hour later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,457,865
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Yeah, but you got to avoid cheap cuts that are filled and padded out with fat.
Yeah, but you got to avoid cheap cuts that are filled and padded out with fat.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 39 minutes later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,457,889
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Got it from Waitrose, mate. The finest quality lamb that money can buy.
Yeah, it was my first time cooking it, so I went to a fancier supermarket. Came out really nice in my slow cooker.
Got it from Waitrose, mate. The finest quality lamb that money can buy.
Yeah, it was my first time cooking it, so I went to a fancier supermarket. Came out really nice in my slow cooker.
Anonymous T replied with this , 6 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,459,102
Fags lol
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 minute later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,459,103
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 5 days later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,154
Meeting former colleagues for drinks in Paddington.
Anonymous J replied with this , 15 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,374
The fuck is this post? Who gives a shit about what you think
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 3 hours later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,385
@previous (J)
What, did you not notice the previous 44 installments? You stupid piece of shit, fuck you!!
@1,460,154 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I love Paddington (the station and the bear).
What, did you not notice the previous 44 installments? You stupid piece of shit, fuck you!!
@1,460,154 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I love Paddington (the station and the bear).
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 8 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,462
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Which side would you support if the train station Paddington fans went to war with the marmalade bear Paddington fans?
Which side would you support if the train station Paddington fans went to war with the marmalade bear Paddington fans?
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 31 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,482
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
They are intrinsically linked, Oats. The bear could not have existed without the train station, and the train station could not have existed without the bear.
They are intrinsically linked, Oats. The bear could not have existed without the train station, and the train station could not have existed without the bear.
Green !pDif3ODBl. replied with this , 17 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,564
@1,460,385 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Iāll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iāve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iām the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youāre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatās just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ācleverā comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youāre fucking dead, kiddo
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? Iāll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Iāve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and Iām the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. Youāre fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and thatās just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little ācleverā comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldnāt, you didnāt, and now youāre paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. Youāre fucking dead, kiddo
Anonymous V joined in and replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,721
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,460,975
I've been listening to Sideneck lately and I can't help but feel like Ecomaniac could have made it big if he had only stayed alive.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 14 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,461,088
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 7 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,461,129
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU double-posted this , 22 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,461,341
I have to go home and eat an entire jam roly poly in one sitting.
tteh !MemesToDNA joined in and replied with this , 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,461,795
I'm in Toronto drinking cider. Thanks.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 13 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,461,881
I have to go home and eat an entire lemon cake and 7 bananas in one sitting.
Anonymous Z-1 joined in and replied with this , 1 week later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,259
do you ever have one of those moments where you're so used to encountering a word as a bespoke phrase that you don't consider it could be made up of two words? just had one of these with the words "role model". like. oh. duh. role model. one who models a role. am i fucking stupid?
Anonymous Z-1 double-posted this , 11 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,260
anyway minitwitter status update: i turned 30 a couple months ago. kind of crazy to think that this board has been a part of my life since i was 14. i got a job working on a video game i wanted to back on kickstarter when i was a wee teenager that still isn't done yet. it pays shockingly well and a bunch of my friends in the space work on it too, it's like... shockingly close to the dream job.Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,311
Bibimbap for lunch, and slow cooked lamb with mint sauce for dinner. Could my life get any better? I suspect not.
@previous (Z-1)
lmao imagine not just playing video games but helping to make more of them what a loser lol
(Congratulations. And yes, Minichan's age is pretty amazing, in internet time it's practically ancient)
@previous (Z-1)
lmao imagine not just playing video games but helping to make more of them what a loser lol
(Congratulations. And yes, Minichan's age is pretty amazing, in internet time it's practically ancient)
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 6 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,372
@1,463,260 (Z-1)
Nice I am glad that empty promises still generate revenue on Kickstarter. Will you sneak in a reference to minichan to the game?
Nice I am glad that empty promises still generate revenue on Kickstarter. Will you sneak in a reference to minichan to the game?
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU double-posted this , 36 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,374
@1,463,311 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
It has turned 16 years old which means it is too old for large portions of our userbase.
It has turned 16 years old which means it is too old for large portions of our userbase.
DXMEOWTH joined in and replied with this , 25 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,375
DXMEOWTH double-posted this , 38 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,377
The more drugs I do, the better life gets!
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,425
Decided to check my Steam playtimes. And yep... I'm cool... š@previous (DXMEOWTH)
Hell yes! Drugs are the best!!
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 11 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,607
@1,463,372 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
oh this kickstarter happened in 2012, it's running on fumes now. and i'm not a writer, i'm just a junior dev. i have no say. but shockingly, characters writing bad fanfiction of each other, having the worst rap-offs in history, and getting sloshed and running a shtick into the ground are all core pillars of the writing, so who knows. maybe it's a monkeys on typewriters thing, convergently evolving minichan references through similar conditions.
@1,463,311 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
bibimbap goes crazy. my mom inexplicably hard-pivoted into being a huge koreaboo in her old age, so every few weeks she'll call me over to her house and give me a bunch of kpop branded bullshit, usually half-finished packages of things she thought she might like but doesn't because she just doesn't have the palate of a korean.
oh this kickstarter happened in 2012, it's running on fumes now. and i'm not a writer, i'm just a junior dev. i have no say. but shockingly, characters writing bad fanfiction of each other, having the worst rap-offs in history, and getting sloshed and running a shtick into the ground are all core pillars of the writing, so who knows. maybe it's a monkeys on typewriters thing, convergently evolving minichan references through similar conditions.
@1,463,311 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
bibimbap goes crazy. my mom inexplicably hard-pivoted into being a huge koreaboo in her old age, so every few weeks she'll call me over to her house and give me a bunch of kpop branded bullshit, usually half-finished packages of things she thought she might like but doesn't because she just doesn't have the palate of a korean.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,844
@1,463,425 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
> over 700 hours in fallout 4
Wiredo
> over 400 hours in fallout new Vegas
Based
> over 700 hours in fallout 4
Wiredo
> over 400 hours in fallout new Vegas
Based
Erik !saAqdaazn2 double-posted this , 2 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,845
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,463,873
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this , 1 day later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,184
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 5 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,209
terraria is so high on mine. i don't care for it but i got roped into being server host the one time i did play it.Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,237
@1,463,425 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
@1,463,845 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
@previous (Z-1)
> All of us so far have New Vegas on our lists
Based.
Good thing Obsidian is making another Fallout game! I just wish it was under better circumstances...
@1,463,844 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I like ALL of the Bethesda Fallout games! And I won't apologise for that!
(Except for 76. Ugh.)
@1,463,845 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
@previous (Z-1)
> All of us so far have New Vegas on our lists
Based.
Good thing Obsidian is making another Fallout game! I just wish it was under better circumstances...
@1,463,844 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I like ALL of the Bethesda Fallout games! And I won't apologise for that!
(Except for 76. Ugh.)
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,246
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 6 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,276
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,293
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Skyrim should be on mine. But, like, I've played that thing across different editions, and played it on the Xbox when I was a kid.
It's one of those games, like Kenshi, that I just get the urge to play ever year or so. A timelsss masterpiece. š
@1,464,246 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I might get some flack for this, but I don't think the old Fallouts have aged very well. Not because they're isometric RPGs, but because they are clunky 90s isometric RPGs. I think that if you grew up with them then you probably don't notice it so much, but I didn't and when I tried them I bounced off of them.
Fallout is probably never gonna go back to the kind of gameplay, but there's been a few spiritual successors to Fallouts 1 and 2, and I think they've been pretty well-liked.
Skyrim should be on mine. But, like, I've played that thing across different editions, and played it on the Xbox when I was a kid.
It's one of those games, like Kenshi, that I just get the urge to play ever year or so. A timelsss masterpiece. š
@1,464,246 (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
I might get some flack for this, but I don't think the old Fallouts have aged very well. Not because they're isometric RPGs, but because they are clunky 90s isometric RPGs. I think that if you grew up with them then you probably don't notice it so much, but I didn't and when I tried them I bounced off of them.
Fallout is probably never gonna go back to the kind of gameplay, but there's been a few spiritual successors to Fallouts 1 and 2, and I think they've been pretty well-liked.
(Edited 9 hours later.)
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,327
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
I have the habit every so often of spending 4 days installing and testing a tonne of mods and then playing the game for maybe 15 hours max.
I have the habit every so often of spending 4 days installing and testing a tonne of mods and then playing the game for maybe 15 hours max.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 17 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,497
@1,464,293 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
There is nothing clunky about fallout 1 or 2.
> I might get some flack for this
Stop posting on reddit
There is nothing clunky about fallout 1 or 2.
> I might get some flack for this
Stop posting on reddit
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,550
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
> Stop posting on reddit
Oi, get fucked. That's just how it talk, I didn't get it from Reddit.
Calling things you don't agree with Reddit is such a fucking Reddit move!
> Stop posting on reddit
Oi, get fucked. That's just how it talk, I didn't get it from Reddit.
Calling things you don't agree with Reddit is such a fucking Reddit move!
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 7 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,634
100 get
DXMEOWTH joined in and replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,663
Erik !saAqdaazn2 joined in and replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,671
My UID got wiped
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 19 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,673
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Hm? You mean you can't log in to it? I just had a look at your usual UID, it looks okay, everything is still there.
Please message tteh, he can probably help you get back into it.
https://minichan.net/compose_message/admins
Hm? You mean you can't log in to it? I just had a look at your usual UID, it looks okay, everything is still there.
Please message tteh, he can probably help you get back into it.
https://minichan.net/compose_message/admins
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) double-posted this , 15 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,674
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 11 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,464,812
@1,464,293 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
i don't disagree but i think they're worth playing regardless, i think a lot of the systems are still really fun and the stories compelling. the brotherhood in fallout 1 is still one of my favorite things ever, rivaled only perhaps by the brotherhood in new vegas.
i don't disagree but i think they're worth playing regardless, i think a lot of the systems are still really fun and the stories compelling. the brotherhood in fallout 1 is still one of my favorite things ever, rivaled only perhaps by the brotherhood in new vegas.
Konuwanu joined in and replied with this , 2 days later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,535
Drinking a cup of tea while watching youtube
DXMEOWTH replied with this , 12 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,614
@1,464,674 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Ayy, thanks mate!! Life has honestly been the best it's ever been, and only getting better. I'm in the process of trying to make some big plays and tryna knock my bitch up haha. How's it been for you?
Ayy, thanks mate!! Life has honestly been the best it's ever been, and only getting better. I'm in the process of trying to make some big plays and tryna knock my bitch up haha. How's it been for you?
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 13 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,615
I just fumble fingered my day cream and dropped the tub, wasting half of it on the floor... gespplot
cccuuunnttt !Memes4aSuc joined in and replied with this , 10 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,773
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 10 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,867
@previous (cccuuunnttt !Memes4aSuc)
It's the cream you put on your face in the morning.
Mine has Q10 and a peptide complex and hydrating ingredients and also a spf for UV protection
It's the cream you put on your face in the morning.
Mine has Q10 and a peptide complex and hydrating ingredients and also a spf for UV protection
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,872
Fuck. EA just shut down BioWare, canned the next Mass Effect too. One of the all-time greats of RPG game studios, gone. ā¹ļø
At this point it almost feels like the kind thing to do, considering BioWare's output lately, but I can't help but mostly blame EA for this, still. If BioWare had not had sabotaging executives ordering them to make live service games, then BioWare would not have wasted time with Anthem and the last Dragon Age would have had a much smoother development.
I dunno, after all these stories about the big corporations shutting down or downsizing beloved studios, I think it's best to just not to sell. Sure, business is much harder and riskier without the massive corporate resources behind you, but at least you'll be able to create on your own terms.
At this point it almost feels like the kind thing to do, considering BioWare's output lately, but I can't help but mostly blame EA for this, still. If BioWare had not had sabotaging executives ordering them to make live service games, then BioWare would not have wasted time with Anthem and the last Dragon Age would have had a much smoother development.
I dunno, after all these stories about the big corporations shutting down or downsizing beloved studios, I think it's best to just not to sell. Sure, business is much harder and riskier without the massive corporate resources behind you, but at least you'll be able to create on your own terms.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 17 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,873
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
No live service fuckery contributed to Dragon Ages dreadful writing
No live service fuckery contributed to Dragon Ages dreadful writing
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,874
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
It did contribute. The last Dragon Age was switched from live service to single player late in development, and they had to write around that, it was harder for them to add in major decisions/consequences, because the game had been designed to be a mostly static live service world.
That said, I can't be a total BioWare defender here, a lot of it was their fault, like dumbing everything down, contradicting the previous lore, and that cringey non-binary Qunari character that even a lot of LGBT people didn't like.
It did contribute. The last Dragon Age was switched from live service to single player late in development, and they had to write around that, it was harder for them to add in major decisions/consequences, because the game had been designed to be a mostly static live service world.
That said, I can't be a total BioWare defender here, a lot of it was their fault, like dumbing everything down, contradicting the previous lore, and that cringey non-binary Qunari character that even a lot of LGBT people didn't like.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,885
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
The people didn't take an issue with the story beats (mostly), it was the dreadful dialogue which live service or single player would always have been terrible
The people didn't take an issue with the story beats (mostly), it was the dreadful dialogue which live service or single player would always have been terrible
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,934
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
people could put up with bad dialogue in a live service game, though. you generally mute a live service game and hop on voice call with friends, ignoring any dialogue that's not emboldened for your attention. people love final fantasy 14, and that game reads like if you hit your head really hard against a brick wall of shakespearean archaisms.
people could put up with bad dialogue in a live service game, though. you generally mute a live service game and hop on voice call with friends, ignoring any dialogue that's not emboldened for your attention. people love final fantasy 14, and that game reads like if you hit your head really hard against a brick wall of shakespearean archaisms.
(Edited 2 minutes later.)
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,465,963
@previous (Z-1)
I think if dragon age came out live service with the same writing people would have clowned on it just as hard
I think if dragon age came out live service with the same writing people would have clowned on it just as hard
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,046
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
i think a live service game coming out with writing at all is a feat to be studied.
i think a live service game coming out with writing at all is a feat to be studied.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 16 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,247
@1,465,872 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
I came here to see your reaction. You know the next mass effect would have been woke bloated slop
I came here to see your reaction. You know the next mass effect would have been woke bloated slop
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 38 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,257
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Yes, I'm miserable about it. I got to watch my favourite childhood game studio die a slow and humiliating death. Is that what you wanted? ā¹ļø
> You know the next mass effect would have been woke bloated slop
I am not really a person who rages about "wokeness", so this does not apply to me. Thanks.
Yes, I'm miserable about it. I got to watch my favourite childhood game studio die a slow and humiliating death. Is that what you wanted? ā¹ļø
> You know the next mass effect would have been woke bloated slop
I am not really a person who rages about "wokeness", so this does not apply to me. Thanks.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,258
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Be grateful. Now those developers who made the games you love so much are free to work on other games, fresh games. They are no longer forced to ram your favorite franchise into the ground like an Arab on 9/11.
Be grateful. Now those developers who made the games you love so much are free to work on other games, fresh games. They are no longer forced to ram your favorite franchise into the ground like an Arab on 9/11.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 8 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,259
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
The devs who made his favourite games were not the ones making the next games.
The devs who made his favourite games were not the ones making the next games.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 3 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,261
Anonymous Z-8 joined in and replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,279
What is a good way to meet people in the autumn lads?Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,346
Anonymous Z-9 joined in and replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,373
@1,466,257 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Is there any reason the story needed Steve Cortez in it?
Tolerance is one matter, but don't shove it in our face.
Is there any reason the story needed Steve Cortez in it?
Tolerance is one matter, but don't shove it in our face.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,393
@1,466,258 (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Yeah, maybe. David Gaider is making something, might be good.
@previous (Z-9)
You what? The very minor gay character in Mass Effect 3? I think he mentions his dead husband a few times. And if you're a male Shepard then he doesn't initiate any flirting, you have to go out of your way to do it. Also you can go most of the game just ignoring him if you don't like him, he's not really that important.
If you want to complain about BioWare "shoving gayness" on you, there's much stronger cases you could have gone for. Come on, now.
Yeah, maybe. David Gaider is making something, might be good.
@previous (Z-9)
You what? The very minor gay character in Mass Effect 3? I think he mentions his dead husband a few times. And if you're a male Shepard then he doesn't initiate any flirting, you have to go out of your way to do it. Also you can go most of the game just ignoring him if you don't like him, he's not really that important.
If you want to complain about BioWare "shoving gayness" on you, there's much stronger cases you could have gone for. Come on, now.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) double-posted this , 7 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,394
By the by, companion romances and sexualities in RPGs are actually a pretty interesting topic, at least to me.
A somewhat common approach is to just make all of the characters bisexual, which from a gameplay perspective is probably the best approach as any character can be romanced by any player character, but you could also make the argument that it feels a bit too convenient and artificial, and doesn't invite any pushback from a companion.
In my opinion, BioWare had a good approach to this in Dragon Age Inquisition- have a range of companions with different sexualities, and if you're pursuing someone who's incompatible with you then they'll gently reject your advances.
A somewhat common approach is to just make all of the characters bisexual, which from a gameplay perspective is probably the best approach as any character can be romanced by any player character, but you could also make the argument that it feels a bit too convenient and artificial, and doesn't invite any pushback from a companion.
In my opinion, BioWare had a good approach to this in Dragon Age Inquisition- have a range of companions with different sexualities, and if you're pursuing someone who's incompatible with you then they'll gently reject your advances.
(Edited 11 minutes later.)
Anonymous Z-9 replied with this , 3 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,412
@1,466,393 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
Yes, he's a minor character, so they could have cut him.
If you care about exploring storylines then you will end up romancing him, and it's not much of a choice. I didn't get the game to speed run it and avoid side stories.
Yes, he's a minor character, so they could have cut him.
If you care about exploring storylines then you will end up romancing him, and it's not much of a choice. I didn't get the game to speed run it and avoid side stories.
Anonymous Z-9 double-posted this , 45 seconds later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,413
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 4 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,442
Anonymous Z-8 replied with this , 1 hour later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,453
@1,466,394 (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
> By the by, companion romances and sexualities in RPGs are actually a pretty interesting topic, at least to me.
>
> A somewhat common approach is to just make all of the characters bisexual, which from a gameplay perspective is probably the best approach as any character can be romanced by any player character, but you could also make the argument that it feels a bit too convenient and artificial, and doesn't invite any pushback from a companion.
>
> In my opinion, BioWare had a good approach to this in Dragon Age Inquisition- have a range of companions with different sexualities, and if you're pursuing someone who's incompatible with you then they'll gently reject your advances.
All CRPG romance is artificial and awkward. Games are a terrible medium to do romance in and all you're doing is ticking side quest markers to see a bad sex cut scene. It's just weird and uncomfortable and way too many cunts obsess over it. Shipping is cancer in any medium and games make it 'personal' so it's even worse.
> By the by, companion romances and sexualities in RPGs are actually a pretty interesting topic, at least to me.
>
> A somewhat common approach is to just make all of the characters bisexual, which from a gameplay perspective is probably the best approach as any character can be romanced by any player character, but you could also make the argument that it feels a bit too convenient and artificial, and doesn't invite any pushback from a companion.
>
> In my opinion, BioWare had a good approach to this in Dragon Age Inquisition- have a range of companions with different sexualities, and if you're pursuing someone who's incompatible with you then they'll gently reject your advances.
All CRPG romance is artificial and awkward. Games are a terrible medium to do romance in and all you're doing is ticking side quest markers to see a bad sex cut scene. It's just weird and uncomfortable and way too many cunts obsess over it. Shipping is cancer in any medium and games make it 'personal' so it's even worse.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 10 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,751
Erik !saAqdaazn2 double-posted this , 52 minutes later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,767
Current status.Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 2 hours later, 3 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,466,837
Anonymous Z-10 joined in and replied with this , 2 days later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,467,778
In cyberpunk you can get raped in an alley if your don't button mash fast enough. The rapist is male no matter what, so they force you to be gay.
Anonymous Z-1 replied with this , 7 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,467,889
@previous (Z-10)
> if your don't button mash fast enough
> they force you to be gay.
kind of seems like you're just bad at the game...
> if your don't button mash fast enough
> they force you to be gay.
kind of seems like you're just bad at the game...
Anonymous Z-8 replied with this , 8 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,467,937
@1,467,778 (Z-10)> In cyberpunk you can get raped in an alley if your don't button mash fast enough. The rapist is male no matter what, so they force you to be gay.
Game is full of fag and tranny shit. What did you expect?
Autumn is so miserable in this country. Everything is stormy and wet, they fuck up the clocks so it gets dark at 2pm. Why can't they just leave the clocks alone?
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 28 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,467,938
@previous (Z-8)
Fuck you, that is traditional British weather. A nice grey sky, a bit of rain, maybe a cheeky amber weather warning, we love it.
@1,467,778 (Z-10)
Based.
Fuck you, that is traditional British weather. A nice grey sky, a bit of rain, maybe a cheeky amber weather warning, we love it.
@1,467,778 (Z-10)
Based.
Anonymous Z-8 replied with this , 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,467,961
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
> Fuck you, that is traditional British weather. A nice grey sky, a bit of rain, maybe a cheeky amber weather warning, we love it.
I like walking the dog at like 8pm just as the sun is setting. Now you have to do it by 3 or it's pitch black and a migrant tries to cook your dog.
> Fuck you, that is traditional British weather. A nice grey sky, a bit of rain, maybe a cheeky amber weather warning, we love it.
I like walking the dog at like 8pm just as the sun is setting. Now you have to do it by 3 or it's pitch black and a migrant tries to cook your dog.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,468,005
Cassandra, or as everyone actually called her, Cassy, was a bit of an odd duck. She had grown up in the System and that had most certainly not helped anything, moving from one bad home to the next and sometimes living in modern orphanages called Foster Care housing. Either way, it had helped her quickly get use to what everyone felt sooner or later. Power Disparity.
The Clubās music was loud and the lights were strobing enough to give a regular man a seizure.
That was a healthy part of the why. Why the way she was the way she was. But it wasnāt the whole story. Sure, a shitty childhood growing up, being helpless, was a strong part of it. But it wasnāt everything. Here in Cyber City (renamed from Franklin City due to the mayor having extraordinarily bad taste), and most of the surviving planet by now, the Power disparity was insane. One poor man could starve and die on the streets and another man with money could augment himself to be able to withstand high caliber bullets and think at 10x the speed of a normal human. And that was without getting into the really high tech level individuals.
She saw a man with robotic eyes peering at a woman whose entire face seemed to be designed from carefully crafted metal and had neon lights flowing through the individual strands of her hair. A common cosmetic trend recently.
Being helpless for so long, in a fewā¦. Difficult homesā¦ had started her on the path. That was for sure. But it was puberty that had shifted the focus of that desire. And it had been an incredibly nasty, near life-ruining break up, that had really driven the point home. Everything else had been, well, time and bitterness. A common enough story really. Except instead of becoming a high class whore, or a dominatrix, or cracked and murdered someone in cold blood, her tastes her turned a little sharper, a little more sinister. She was once told she was the type of woman who liked to pull a prank and then marinate in the joke for a few days before saying that it was a joke. The worst type of person, basically. One that leaned more towards, well, the nastier side of the spectrum.
She passed by a Full Android dancer. More than a few of the moves were both sexually appealing and physically impossible. She felt a brief sensation of pity and empathy for those poor bitches and bastards. You donāt ever come back from Full Android, thereās nothing left to come back to. She shook her head and kept walking.
Still, she had her own Code. Once you became, well, what she had become, you either had to have one or lose too much of yourself in the process. A monster and demon were separated by one having a code and she was perfectly happy being one but not the other. A thin line but at least there was a line. Her morals were crap, but she had them. The rules were simple, but effective. No rape. No murder.
Everything else was kinda fair game. Sadly for the world, her definition of rape was strict and unflexible.
Molestation on the other handā¦ Finally. She had been walking around The Club for a while now, hoping to find a man with the right cybernetics but it wasnāt like they were exactly common in men. They came in exactly two different body sets. And sure, a man could get a few pieces here and there, but it took a special kind of man willing to have surgery on their dick, regardless of situation. The brain, at least, was a common surgery item nearly everyone had. That said something about the human race and she was happy to take advantage of it. You could even say she relied almost entirely on that fact, for her kinks to be possible.
The man in front of her didnāt exactly look anything too far from baseline. Besides some metal above the nose that couldāve just been cosmetic, at first glance, he seemed totally normal. He wasnāt. She knew that fully naked, his body would look like a well sculpted Adonis and his spine would be entirely metal. Superhuman in all the ways that counted, and a few that really shouldnāt, without giving anything away. Like understated wealth, which is mostly what these type of men were the type of. Everyoneās pockets and personalities determined what type of bodies they had, no different from looking at someoneās physical possessions. Dirt poor? Nothing. Poor? Tiny things but obvious things. False muscles, grafted robotic outer parts, etc etc. Maybe a prosthetic. Middle class is where things really widened out. Where people had options.
The aptly named Male Package C3 wasnāt anything special per se. You wouldnāt find it on the front cover of anything or anywhere, despite how expensive it was. Because it wasnāt special, it wasnāt obvious, it didnāt even make you more of what you already were. It restructured your body and bones to be Pretty Great, and gave a few add on attachments. It was the type of body someone with money to spend, but not that much money, would buy and someone who was cool, calm, collected, and rational. They understood the world was now a world of excellence and that sometimes, standing out can be just as bad as blending in. It was a hidden gun in your pocket type of body when they could reach out and crush your head like a watermelon.
Orā¦
āYeah, we could go back to my place. Iām sure I could show you girls a good time.ā The man said, causing two tipsy women to giggle.
Or, it was the type of body for smooth bastards that saw the penis resizing mod and decided they absolutely had to have it at all costs. Despite it not being a popular option for a reason. She loved finding those type of guys.
āOh? If youāre going to show anyone a good time, perhaps you could show me what that body of yours could really do?ā
The man looked up and his smile couldāve made a woman melt. She was certainly excited but not for quite the same reasons as the man before her.
āAnd who do I call such a lovely woman?ā
āCassy.ā
āDarius. And I would certainly say my body could do a lot. Thereās quite a lot to show after all.ā He chuckled to himself and took a drink from his glass.
āI have a backroom setup, bed included. Perhaps youād like to show me right now?ā Cassy suggested with a lewd smirk.
A lesser or at least shyer man wouldāve sputtered or done more than raise their eyebrow and put down their glass and smiled widely.
āOh, well with that type of invitation, I couldnāt possibly be so rude as to refuse.ā He replied.
And that was all it took. Honestly, if you have charm and a decent body, you were set to get laid in a club. If you had neither, you could buy a body and be good. Failing both? Be a woman. Hell, due to certain activist campaigns, turning into a woman wasnāt even that hard. She looked over to the Full Androids, a shudder passing through her slightly as she remembered a few permanently ārentedā bedrooms in this very club. Never sign a contract to become one though. No matter how desperate. Poor bastards.
She walked with Darius back to her room, leading the way. Not only because she knew the room number but also because she wanted to give Darius something to look at to keep him distracted. No need for his pretty boy charm to turn into intelligence and suspicion. That was always an annoying mess to deal with.
It wasnāt hard to find a club with private rooms these days. She was a programmer and amateur neurologist, so the science behind why things were the way they were wasnāt as much as a mystery to her as most people. Simply put, people had been holding themselves back. Even today, they were. But when you can become nearly anything with 85% life-like realness in VR, and modify your body in the real world as well, you let your wild side out.
And then your brain refuses to reign it back in.
Who cares if youāre a dog? Or love being a pixie in fantasy world? Or enjoy the spark as your whole body can be safely electrocuted at rates that would kill a normal person? Everyone is doing it!
Thatās what the mind screams to not be put back away in the box of social norms and socially acceptable. And when everyone else really is doing it? Well, hyper-sexualization had been a long time coming since even before the internet.
From ads, to every Club and Bar seeming to double as a Love hotel, it only grew and spread. Soon, itād probably get even better. Or worse, depending on who you talked to. Those who hadnāt felt tentacles before just donāt understand. Money means freedom and freedom means a whole lot more than it use to, even if itās under the boot of the rich. She expected public orgies within the decade really.
Well, more public, she thought as she passed a couple trying to prove her point in the hallway outside her room.
āSo, what did you have in mind?ā Darius spoke up.
It was an odd question that her hackles raised a little. But that was mostly because that had been the question a police officer had once asked before nearly busting her. She looked him over again, letting her body language reader mod look him over. The results returned negative and she had significantly upgraded since last time. No more surprises. It did return why he asked though. His whole body language was radiating excitement and his peripheral was more slightly locked in place, probably trying to specifically not look at the other couple.
She smiled. āDonāt worry. I got some good ideas in my head. And perhaps soon, theyāll be in yours.ā
They walked into her room and then the annoying part of the process began. Convincing him to let her hook up to him. A wild stupid thing to do, for many reasons, but a much, much better sexual experience for anyone with any knowledge or had done it before.
And it was clear Darius had done a mind meld before, just not with a stranger. Eventually, though, she managed to let him hook his mind to hers.
And that was all it took.
Programming was a long, long, long affair. It took thousands of hours sometimes if you didnāt know what the hell you were doing and with everyoneās minds being a literal computer these days, learning without killing yourself could be tough. For a hacker? That danger was magnified many fold.
But she had learned. She put in those thousands of hours of programming. So when it all came down to it, all it took, was a simple connection.
She backed up and looked at Darius, who struggling to move or yell or do anything. His body flinching. She allowed it, it was more fun when they felt like they had a chance to ābreak awayā from it. She had his mouth be clenched down but his actual voice was allowed to talk.
āWhat. did you. Do?!ā
āOh Darius. Weāve only just begun honey. Go ahead and get naked for me, okay? Iāll even be nice and do the same.ā
He did, against his will, and she did too. She could feel Dariusās struggles, could feel the rage and fear rising in him. Rage was winning out right now. It was almost simmering down into annoyance though. He didnāt like his body hijacked but right now, he was vainly hoping it was a weird sex thing since both of them were getting naked. He was right, but he wouldnāt like where it was going. She mentally changed a certain aspect of Darius without letting him feel the change, keeping his gaze locked on her the whole time.
Once they were both naked, she looked down and frowned.
āThat was what you were going to show me? Darius, I get Iām the bad guy here but thatās just, irresponsible. Humiliating even. For me. Seriously, I canāt believe youād even try to pick up women when you had a dick the size of thimble while erect.ā
She allowed Darius to look down and released most of his face. She wanted to see it. And see it she did. That look of incomprehensibility, of confusion, of panic and worry, and then, finally, of realization.
Darius was smart, sheād give him that. Just not cautious enough.
āYOU!ā
She smirked.
āMe.ā
The Male Package C3 had a penis enhancer. It completely replaced the penis, something most men would scoff at or react with utter fear at. Very few would take or accept it. But the reasoning was sound. It was just better, in every way. More pleasure, could resize itself in both width and length on the fly, and looked totally normal like the rest of the body. To all eyeās, even Dariusās, his penis now looked like it was about an inch long and had even less width than that. While erect. It looked like he had a micro penis.
Of course it was Cassy who did it. She had simply made it smaller and less wide. She wouldāve done more but sadly, this was the limit on smallness that the penis could go to. Still, it was great. The rage and embarrassment she felt coming through Dariusās brain was exquisite.
She couldnāt help herself as she reached down and started rubbing. God, it was so hot. He was her helpless little toy and was forced to feel, inadequate. Forced to suffer from any humiliation she deemed fit. Oh yeah, that was the good stuff.
āA-Are you masturbating to this?!ā
She turned off Dariusās voice for a while, it was more fun to just feel his emotions and watch him. She closed her eyes and really started getting into it, feeling Darius feel shock, confusion, a decent amount of anger, a little bit of fear, and some horniness that was growing.
She opened her eyes. It wouldnāt be too good to get into it before she really started to have fun.
āAlright, showās over. Time for you to go to work my little darling.ā
She walked over and grabbed a trenchcoat. It was decently long and would conceal someoneās body. She had even gotten it custom fitted to have an inner strip of leather that would part the jacket if you pulled on it.
She made Darius grab it, his fear heightening as things moved unpredictably.
āDonāt be too scared. I promise that I wonāt harm you, well, physically, and thatāll you get your body back before the end of the night. Now goodbye.ā
And with that, Darius walked out of her room, naked except for his trenchcoat.
She whipped out a dildo, coated it in lube, laid down on her bed naked, and finally connected her sight and hearing with Dariusās. On a low level. A long distance mind meld wasnāt out of the question but too much stimulus could distract her from what she really wanted to focus on. Mostly Dariusās feeling and her own pleasure.
She watched as she made Darius walked out of the club and was inwardly breathing in relief that the Male Package C3 came with well protected feet.
Dariusās emotions were starting to hit a fever point though and she slipped the dildo into herself partially, controlling him with āsimpleā directions.
Darius was freaking out. Everything had gone wrong too quickly, too extremely quickly. He had been about to have sex with a hot woman and now his body was being controlled by a pervert. No, it was way worse than that. His body was being remote-controlled by a pervert who had him put on a trenchcoat and go walk outside naked. And made his dick shrink. That sent some great anger through him. He had specifically gotten this body so he could take care of that problem, while still having flexibility. Now it was much, much smaller than heād ever gotten into and still erect. There was no problems with it being that way because of his body but it was still annoying to feel how small it was even while hard.
He wish he couldāve shaken himself at that moment. The woman controlling him was far bigger worry than his dick being the wrong size at the moment. No, he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing. He couldnāt even yell or make any movements that seemed like he was struggling. He tried, because of course he tried, but nothing came out. He had been delusional thinking he could break a mental restriction with, what, Will? Muscle? She was in his brain. He gulped and was inwardly relieved he could at least do that.
Had he pissed her off? Had sex with too many of her friends? Or had he just been plain unlucky? He was honestly hoping for the last one. Better for a random freak to attack him than someone with a vendetta. The way she masturbated at his small dick and frozen body just, well, better than what she couldāve done? Bright sides were hard right now but he was scrambling for anything.
He walked out of the club and nearly had heart palpations as she noticed she was making him go through the alleyway. Alleyways were dangerous. His body was strong and resistant to a bullet. Maybe. Many bullets would not go very well. And if she let him be attacked, he shuddered involuntarily and then tried to do it voluntarily and failed, as that was at least a small movement he seemed to be able to do. He tried to focus on those but his fear increased when he turned the corner and found the two college girls heād been trying to woo from earlier. Crap, was this a whole setup or just chance?
āHhheey! Itās that guy from earlier!ā Said one of them, clearly drunk.
āYeeaah! The cute guy that turned us down for that plain bitch! Rude!ā
Chance it was then.
His heartrate sped up as he felt his hand grab some sort of strip of leather in the coat. He didnāt know what it did but he was pretty worried that-
āEEE!ā
āHeās a pervert!ā
Darius was mortified. He was flashing two random women, showing his naked body at them. It only got worse as they both seemed to pause, and then, burst out laughing.
āHAHAHA! Look at his dick! Itās so small! Tiny!ā
āItty bitty tiny penis! So cute! Haha!ā
The mortification and embarrassment suddenly tripled. If his blood still pushed color to his face heād be red as a tomato. That, that bitch was making him embarrass himself! He couldnāt even open his mouth to explain this damn situation!
As if things could get any worse, he felt his hand going for his crotch. Suddenly, he wasnāt just a flasher getting laughed. He was a flasher getting laughed at while masturbating to total strangers.
āOh my god! Marlene, heās stroking himself!ā
āCindy, look! Heās already hard! Itās still so small though!ā
The girls were looking at him like he was circus freak, staring particularly at his penis. He wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and die. Yet his body wouldnāt listen and he kept stroking it. To make matters worse he could feel his pleasure sensors going up and up. Soon, his mind felt like it was being overloaded with pleasure and he came in front of the two women.
āYou- you came?! At us?!ā
āYou didnāt even last a minute?! Holy shit dude! You know they make mods for that right?!ā
Oh god. No. They didnāt even think he was modded. They thought this was his actual body. Darius was going to melt into a puddle and die and heād thank god for it rather than being stuck in this situation.
He felt his body close up his trench coat and walk away to the jeering of the two women.
āWait! I wanted to see your cute little dick some more!ā
āNo no, go away you creepy micro dick guy!ā
Cassy was loving this. She could feel the humiliation and embarrassment radiating out of Darius like a pink wave. He wanted to literally do anything but be there and Cassy was kinda enough to provide. The night was young after all and she had so many more places she wanted to visit. Still, she just sent him in a generic direction as she was a little preoccupied with her own pleasure. Her hand was down below, pushing and pulling the dildo in and out of herself, her other hand squeezing and massaging her breasts, masturbating hard to her little toyās emotions. How he had to suffer feeling helpless and embarrassed, all because of her.
āAww yeah, this is better than sex or drugs.ā
She focused some more and was surprised to see who Darius had nearly ran right into.
It was one of her foster mothers.
The girls were a horrible experience but at least it was over. But he was pretty sure the memory would haunt him until his grave.
He was exclusively going through alleyways now and was horribly scared, which sadly didnāt take the edge away from the embarrassment and humiliation but just molded around it like an even worse blanket. He could seriously die if he ran into the wrong person or situation in alleyway. Everyone knew that. So when he saw well dressed whore in front of him, he nearly let out a huge sigh of relief. He didnāt, because he couldnāt currently control his breathing, but knowing he was in the safe parts of the city, safe enough for redlight work, was a massive load off his shoulders.
āWhy hello Sir~. Would you like to partake in some fine company this evening?ā
Darius felt himself stop in place and his eyes widened just a little, his heart growing cold.
āNo. No, come on!ā He thought. āDonāt you dare do this to me!ā
Sadly, he felt his hand casually reach up and pull the strap, revealing himself.
The whore in front of him raised an eyebrow and then realizing that he was A. naked and B. most likely not going to pay her, became seriously upset with him. Her whole face practically morphed into the visage of a stern nun.
āYoung man, I hope for your sake you intend to pay me-ā
Her voice cut off as she seemed to catch sight of his currently extremely small dick. His extremely small hard dick.
She sighed an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes.
āI can see where the lack of potential for the other sex has driven you slightly crazy or mad, but I assure you, working women like myself donāt judge you. As long as you pay us.ā
She outright glared at him, as his hand moved up and started masturbating. Her glare now added a frown to the mix as he continued. This was somehow way way worse than the laughing girls. He felt he was getting chewed out by teacher or something. Like he had morphed back into the classroom and was getting a talking to by a principle and his own mom at the same time, while masturbating forcefully. It was terrible. Despite what the woman said, she was judging him right now, glaring at him, frowning at him, arms crossed, and he could distinctly tell pitying him. All for his actions.
He didnāt care what his blood said could or couldnāt be done. He knew for a fact he was cringing and blushing hard, even through the mind control. He was going to scarred for life from this.
And yet he couldnāt stop. Despite only cumming a few minutes earlier, he couldnāt stop and the pleasure hadnāt ratcheted down at. Soon, he couldnāt help it and while staring into the womanās eyes, he came.
āYou done? Get out of my sight young man. If you come back, you should best have money to pay for this. Itāll be 5000 chit.ā
She pointed, back the way he came, as if she couldnāt stand his presence in front of her for another moment more.
Dariusās feet did in fact turn around and take him away, but Darius himself was locked in his own mind, like a horrible specter had taken it over. Just replaying that scene and words over and over. If he wasnāt under mind control right now, heād toss himself onto the street and cover his face, screaming into the void, before running back and apologizing to the woman profusely, over and over again. Instead, he was stuck and trapped, living a horrible nightmare. It was like going to bed and having a dream of wetting your pants in school and everyone laughing at you, except way worse, and completely real, and sexual to boot. It felt like a physical attack. You know that feeling of suddenly remembering an embarrassing memory. Well living it was always far worse.
His feet came to a halt in a nearby alley.
Cassy was having the time of her life. That woman had always been a stuck up judgemental prick. A good woman but a terrible mother overall. Not her own fault, not really, and Cassy didnāt have any truly negative feelings towards like she did half a dozen other foster parents but seeing the woman she had lived with for a year and half be forced to deal with that was just, amazing. Icing on the best layered cake ever made. Glorious.
And truly, what a glorious cake it was. Darius wasnāt just feeling a lot of humiliation, it had gone nuclear and become so much that she was starting to feel embarrassed and even had to dial it back a little.
The hand that had squeezing and massaging her breasts was now leaving deep marks and bruises on it as she kept squeezing and playing with herself. The hand controlling the dildo was currently slamming it inside herself. She had full control over her own brain and ramped up her own pleasure, feeling even more pulse inside herself. Before long, she felt herself begin to orgasm and just keep going and going, like the warmth of the sun and the pleasure of a million angels mixed with lightning pouring through her whole nerve system.
She let out a deep, earth shaking moan, and then her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out.
Darius hadnāt moved for at least fifteen minutes. In a way, that was a really good and really bad thing. He was leaning towards it mostly being really bad. Although the, thing that happened that shall not be named, happenedā¦. He could quite literally survive that. Being laughed at by girls all night was fine. Standing out here wearing nothing like a statue for the next 24 hours was not. He knew it was a sex thing for the woman but had she just, gotten bored? Had enough? Or worse, had the program malfunctioned? The idea of program breaking inside his own head terrified him more than the thought of someone controlling him to, apparently, be mild flasher and sex pest. That was, very arguably, fine. As long he didnāt have anything worse happen to him. But now he couldnāt move or do anything.
āHey! Itās that guy!ā
āHuh?! Oh my god it is!ā
Darius may have actually started to cry. He didnāt want to stay stuck here but the people that had found him were the college girls from before! Well, well, at least maybe that could actually help him right?
āWhoa, marlene, heās totally just standing there. Like a freaky robot.ā
āI know, like, what the hell dude?ā
They were still very clearly drunk. One of them cautiously moved closer and poked him in the cheek. The other patted him on the shoulder and then tried to poke his eye. He blinked.
āGah! Well, heās uh, heās still alive?ā
āYeah but heās frozen like a statue!ā
One of them stared at him, like she was trying to figure out some complicated puzzle through the drunk fog. The other one moved his trenchcoat to look at his penis.
āHeās still naked! And hard!ā
āWhatcha think happened to him?ā
āHmmmmmmm.ā
He could practically see the steam rising out of their heads before they both seemed to snap to the same idea at the same time.
āāHe Malfunctioned!āā
He wanted to groan but really, it was close enough.
āLike, his body must have broke somehow. And now he canāt move!ā
āBut, heās still there right? I saw him blink!ā
āāOOOOO!āā
Alright, yes, yes he was having some issues. Please take him to the hospital already!
āUhh, what should we do. Marlene?ā
But Marlene was looking at his coat.
āIām gonna suck on it.ā
āWhat?ā
WHAT?!
āLike, he came in front of us right? Thatās totally uh, consent right?! And his penis is really cute tooā¦ā
āWe canāt! Uh! Hmm. He did cum at us! And he was hitting on us so uh, yeah? Yeah!ā
Darius couldnāt believe what was happening to him but soon he actually saw Marlene get on her knees in a dirty alleyway and felt her lips around his currently tiny dick. He couldnāt help himself and came near instantly.
āGah! Itās like a tick tack that squirts at you a little!ā
āHurry up! I want a turn!ā
Darius wanted to scream as felt those lips return around his extremely sensitive and heightened pleasured cock. When he felt the tongue touch him, he knew it was all over. He came again, but this was fourth time in less than an hour and nothing came out. The woman didnāt stop though, she was barely getting started.
āMy turn! After you, itās my turn to suck the little cock! And then we can take him back to my place!ā
Dariusās next few hours were filled with Post-orgasm torture. Eventually, his mind had enough of the mix of extreme pain and extreme pleasure and he blacked out. When he awoke, he had control of his body and was strangely in a closet. He quietly opened it and saw both women from the night before, sprawled in a drunken heap. He quickly found some clothes and escaped, promising himself never to go to a club again or let someone try to mind meld with him. Lesson learned.
Cassy awoke from her orgasmic release and passing out and reviewed what had happened. Her code had been very nearly broken. Thankfully, she didnāt see a blowjob being given as breaking her code. That was not technically rape to her, even though she knew that was actually bullshit. Still, it could have gone worse.
She looked at two more potential toys she could have through Dariusās eyes and smiled.
The Clubās music was loud and the lights were strobing enough to give a regular man a seizure.
That was a healthy part of the why. Why the way she was the way she was. But it wasnāt the whole story. Sure, a shitty childhood growing up, being helpless, was a strong part of it. But it wasnāt everything. Here in Cyber City (renamed from Franklin City due to the mayor having extraordinarily bad taste), and most of the surviving planet by now, the Power disparity was insane. One poor man could starve and die on the streets and another man with money could augment himself to be able to withstand high caliber bullets and think at 10x the speed of a normal human. And that was without getting into the really high tech level individuals.
She saw a man with robotic eyes peering at a woman whose entire face seemed to be designed from carefully crafted metal and had neon lights flowing through the individual strands of her hair. A common cosmetic trend recently.
Being helpless for so long, in a fewā¦. Difficult homesā¦ had started her on the path. That was for sure. But it was puberty that had shifted the focus of that desire. And it had been an incredibly nasty, near life-ruining break up, that had really driven the point home. Everything else had been, well, time and bitterness. A common enough story really. Except instead of becoming a high class whore, or a dominatrix, or cracked and murdered someone in cold blood, her tastes her turned a little sharper, a little more sinister. She was once told she was the type of woman who liked to pull a prank and then marinate in the joke for a few days before saying that it was a joke. The worst type of person, basically. One that leaned more towards, well, the nastier side of the spectrum.
She passed by a Full Android dancer. More than a few of the moves were both sexually appealing and physically impossible. She felt a brief sensation of pity and empathy for those poor bitches and bastards. You donāt ever come back from Full Android, thereās nothing left to come back to. She shook her head and kept walking.
Still, she had her own Code. Once you became, well, what she had become, you either had to have one or lose too much of yourself in the process. A monster and demon were separated by one having a code and she was perfectly happy being one but not the other. A thin line but at least there was a line. Her morals were crap, but she had them. The rules were simple, but effective. No rape. No murder.
Everything else was kinda fair game. Sadly for the world, her definition of rape was strict and unflexible.
Molestation on the other handā¦ Finally. She had been walking around The Club for a while now, hoping to find a man with the right cybernetics but it wasnāt like they were exactly common in men. They came in exactly two different body sets. And sure, a man could get a few pieces here and there, but it took a special kind of man willing to have surgery on their dick, regardless of situation. The brain, at least, was a common surgery item nearly everyone had. That said something about the human race and she was happy to take advantage of it. You could even say she relied almost entirely on that fact, for her kinks to be possible.
The man in front of her didnāt exactly look anything too far from baseline. Besides some metal above the nose that couldāve just been cosmetic, at first glance, he seemed totally normal. He wasnāt. She knew that fully naked, his body would look like a well sculpted Adonis and his spine would be entirely metal. Superhuman in all the ways that counted, and a few that really shouldnāt, without giving anything away. Like understated wealth, which is mostly what these type of men were the type of. Everyoneās pockets and personalities determined what type of bodies they had, no different from looking at someoneās physical possessions. Dirt poor? Nothing. Poor? Tiny things but obvious things. False muscles, grafted robotic outer parts, etc etc. Maybe a prosthetic. Middle class is where things really widened out. Where people had options.
The aptly named Male Package C3 wasnāt anything special per se. You wouldnāt find it on the front cover of anything or anywhere, despite how expensive it was. Because it wasnāt special, it wasnāt obvious, it didnāt even make you more of what you already were. It restructured your body and bones to be Pretty Great, and gave a few add on attachments. It was the type of body someone with money to spend, but not that much money, would buy and someone who was cool, calm, collected, and rational. They understood the world was now a world of excellence and that sometimes, standing out can be just as bad as blending in. It was a hidden gun in your pocket type of body when they could reach out and crush your head like a watermelon.
Orā¦
āYeah, we could go back to my place. Iām sure I could show you girls a good time.ā The man said, causing two tipsy women to giggle.
Or, it was the type of body for smooth bastards that saw the penis resizing mod and decided they absolutely had to have it at all costs. Despite it not being a popular option for a reason. She loved finding those type of guys.
āOh? If youāre going to show anyone a good time, perhaps you could show me what that body of yours could really do?ā
The man looked up and his smile couldāve made a woman melt. She was certainly excited but not for quite the same reasons as the man before her.
āAnd who do I call such a lovely woman?ā
āCassy.ā
āDarius. And I would certainly say my body could do a lot. Thereās quite a lot to show after all.ā He chuckled to himself and took a drink from his glass.
āI have a backroom setup, bed included. Perhaps youād like to show me right now?ā Cassy suggested with a lewd smirk.
A lesser or at least shyer man wouldāve sputtered or done more than raise their eyebrow and put down their glass and smiled widely.
āOh, well with that type of invitation, I couldnāt possibly be so rude as to refuse.ā He replied.
And that was all it took. Honestly, if you have charm and a decent body, you were set to get laid in a club. If you had neither, you could buy a body and be good. Failing both? Be a woman. Hell, due to certain activist campaigns, turning into a woman wasnāt even that hard. She looked over to the Full Androids, a shudder passing through her slightly as she remembered a few permanently ārentedā bedrooms in this very club. Never sign a contract to become one though. No matter how desperate. Poor bastards.
She walked with Darius back to her room, leading the way. Not only because she knew the room number but also because she wanted to give Darius something to look at to keep him distracted. No need for his pretty boy charm to turn into intelligence and suspicion. That was always an annoying mess to deal with.
It wasnāt hard to find a club with private rooms these days. She was a programmer and amateur neurologist, so the science behind why things were the way they were wasnāt as much as a mystery to her as most people. Simply put, people had been holding themselves back. Even today, they were. But when you can become nearly anything with 85% life-like realness in VR, and modify your body in the real world as well, you let your wild side out.
And then your brain refuses to reign it back in.
Who cares if youāre a dog? Or love being a pixie in fantasy world? Or enjoy the spark as your whole body can be safely electrocuted at rates that would kill a normal person? Everyone is doing it!
Thatās what the mind screams to not be put back away in the box of social norms and socially acceptable. And when everyone else really is doing it? Well, hyper-sexualization had been a long time coming since even before the internet.
From ads, to every Club and Bar seeming to double as a Love hotel, it only grew and spread. Soon, itād probably get even better. Or worse, depending on who you talked to. Those who hadnāt felt tentacles before just donāt understand. Money means freedom and freedom means a whole lot more than it use to, even if itās under the boot of the rich. She expected public orgies within the decade really.
Well, more public, she thought as she passed a couple trying to prove her point in the hallway outside her room.
āSo, what did you have in mind?ā Darius spoke up.
It was an odd question that her hackles raised a little. But that was mostly because that had been the question a police officer had once asked before nearly busting her. She looked him over again, letting her body language reader mod look him over. The results returned negative and she had significantly upgraded since last time. No more surprises. It did return why he asked though. His whole body language was radiating excitement and his peripheral was more slightly locked in place, probably trying to specifically not look at the other couple.
She smiled. āDonāt worry. I got some good ideas in my head. And perhaps soon, theyāll be in yours.ā
They walked into her room and then the annoying part of the process began. Convincing him to let her hook up to him. A wild stupid thing to do, for many reasons, but a much, much better sexual experience for anyone with any knowledge or had done it before.
And it was clear Darius had done a mind meld before, just not with a stranger. Eventually, though, she managed to let him hook his mind to hers.
And that was all it took.
Programming was a long, long, long affair. It took thousands of hours sometimes if you didnāt know what the hell you were doing and with everyoneās minds being a literal computer these days, learning without killing yourself could be tough. For a hacker? That danger was magnified many fold.
But she had learned. She put in those thousands of hours of programming. So when it all came down to it, all it took, was a simple connection.
She backed up and looked at Darius, who struggling to move or yell or do anything. His body flinching. She allowed it, it was more fun when they felt like they had a chance to ābreak awayā from it. She had his mouth be clenched down but his actual voice was allowed to talk.
āWhat. did you. Do?!ā
āOh Darius. Weāve only just begun honey. Go ahead and get naked for me, okay? Iāll even be nice and do the same.ā
He did, against his will, and she did too. She could feel Dariusās struggles, could feel the rage and fear rising in him. Rage was winning out right now. It was almost simmering down into annoyance though. He didnāt like his body hijacked but right now, he was vainly hoping it was a weird sex thing since both of them were getting naked. He was right, but he wouldnāt like where it was going. She mentally changed a certain aspect of Darius without letting him feel the change, keeping his gaze locked on her the whole time.
Once they were both naked, she looked down and frowned.
āThat was what you were going to show me? Darius, I get Iām the bad guy here but thatās just, irresponsible. Humiliating even. For me. Seriously, I canāt believe youād even try to pick up women when you had a dick the size of thimble while erect.ā
She allowed Darius to look down and released most of his face. She wanted to see it. And see it she did. That look of incomprehensibility, of confusion, of panic and worry, and then, finally, of realization.
Darius was smart, sheād give him that. Just not cautious enough.
āYOU!ā
She smirked.
āMe.ā
The Male Package C3 had a penis enhancer. It completely replaced the penis, something most men would scoff at or react with utter fear at. Very few would take or accept it. But the reasoning was sound. It was just better, in every way. More pleasure, could resize itself in both width and length on the fly, and looked totally normal like the rest of the body. To all eyeās, even Dariusās, his penis now looked like it was about an inch long and had even less width than that. While erect. It looked like he had a micro penis.
Of course it was Cassy who did it. She had simply made it smaller and less wide. She wouldāve done more but sadly, this was the limit on smallness that the penis could go to. Still, it was great. The rage and embarrassment she felt coming through Dariusās brain was exquisite.
She couldnāt help herself as she reached down and started rubbing. God, it was so hot. He was her helpless little toy and was forced to feel, inadequate. Forced to suffer from any humiliation she deemed fit. Oh yeah, that was the good stuff.
āA-Are you masturbating to this?!ā
She turned off Dariusās voice for a while, it was more fun to just feel his emotions and watch him. She closed her eyes and really started getting into it, feeling Darius feel shock, confusion, a decent amount of anger, a little bit of fear, and some horniness that was growing.
She opened her eyes. It wouldnāt be too good to get into it before she really started to have fun.
āAlright, showās over. Time for you to go to work my little darling.ā
She walked over and grabbed a trenchcoat. It was decently long and would conceal someoneās body. She had even gotten it custom fitted to have an inner strip of leather that would part the jacket if you pulled on it.
She made Darius grab it, his fear heightening as things moved unpredictably.
āDonāt be too scared. I promise that I wonāt harm you, well, physically, and thatāll you get your body back before the end of the night. Now goodbye.ā
And with that, Darius walked out of her room, naked except for his trenchcoat.
She whipped out a dildo, coated it in lube, laid down on her bed naked, and finally connected her sight and hearing with Dariusās. On a low level. A long distance mind meld wasnāt out of the question but too much stimulus could distract her from what she really wanted to focus on. Mostly Dariusās feeling and her own pleasure.
She watched as she made Darius walked out of the club and was inwardly breathing in relief that the Male Package C3 came with well protected feet.
Dariusās emotions were starting to hit a fever point though and she slipped the dildo into herself partially, controlling him with āsimpleā directions.
Darius was freaking out. Everything had gone wrong too quickly, too extremely quickly. He had been about to have sex with a hot woman and now his body was being controlled by a pervert. No, it was way worse than that. His body was being remote-controlled by a pervert who had him put on a trenchcoat and go walk outside naked. And made his dick shrink. That sent some great anger through him. He had specifically gotten this body so he could take care of that problem, while still having flexibility. Now it was much, much smaller than heād ever gotten into and still erect. There was no problems with it being that way because of his body but it was still annoying to feel how small it was even while hard.
He wish he couldāve shaken himself at that moment. The woman controlling him was far bigger worry than his dick being the wrong size at the moment. No, he had no idea where he was going or what he was doing. He couldnāt even yell or make any movements that seemed like he was struggling. He tried, because of course he tried, but nothing came out. He had been delusional thinking he could break a mental restriction with, what, Will? Muscle? She was in his brain. He gulped and was inwardly relieved he could at least do that.
Had he pissed her off? Had sex with too many of her friends? Or had he just been plain unlucky? He was honestly hoping for the last one. Better for a random freak to attack him than someone with a vendetta. The way she masturbated at his small dick and frozen body just, well, better than what she couldāve done? Bright sides were hard right now but he was scrambling for anything.
He walked out of the club and nearly had heart palpations as she noticed she was making him go through the alleyway. Alleyways were dangerous. His body was strong and resistant to a bullet. Maybe. Many bullets would not go very well. And if she let him be attacked, he shuddered involuntarily and then tried to do it voluntarily and failed, as that was at least a small movement he seemed to be able to do. He tried to focus on those but his fear increased when he turned the corner and found the two college girls heād been trying to woo from earlier. Crap, was this a whole setup or just chance?
āHhheey! Itās that guy from earlier!ā Said one of them, clearly drunk.
āYeeaah! The cute guy that turned us down for that plain bitch! Rude!ā
Chance it was then.
His heartrate sped up as he felt his hand grab some sort of strip of leather in the coat. He didnāt know what it did but he was pretty worried that-
āEEE!ā
āHeās a pervert!ā
Darius was mortified. He was flashing two random women, showing his naked body at them. It only got worse as they both seemed to pause, and then, burst out laughing.
āHAHAHA! Look at his dick! Itās so small! Tiny!ā
āItty bitty tiny penis! So cute! Haha!ā
The mortification and embarrassment suddenly tripled. If his blood still pushed color to his face heād be red as a tomato. That, that bitch was making him embarrass himself! He couldnāt even open his mouth to explain this damn situation!
As if things could get any worse, he felt his hand going for his crotch. Suddenly, he wasnāt just a flasher getting laughed. He was a flasher getting laughed at while masturbating to total strangers.
āOh my god! Marlene, heās stroking himself!ā
āCindy, look! Heās already hard! Itās still so small though!ā
The girls were looking at him like he was circus freak, staring particularly at his penis. He wanted to crawl into the nearest hole and die. Yet his body wouldnāt listen and he kept stroking it. To make matters worse he could feel his pleasure sensors going up and up. Soon, his mind felt like it was being overloaded with pleasure and he came in front of the two women.
āYou- you came?! At us?!ā
āYou didnāt even last a minute?! Holy shit dude! You know they make mods for that right?!ā
Oh god. No. They didnāt even think he was modded. They thought this was his actual body. Darius was going to melt into a puddle and die and heād thank god for it rather than being stuck in this situation.
He felt his body close up his trench coat and walk away to the jeering of the two women.
āWait! I wanted to see your cute little dick some more!ā
āNo no, go away you creepy micro dick guy!ā
Cassy was loving this. She could feel the humiliation and embarrassment radiating out of Darius like a pink wave. He wanted to literally do anything but be there and Cassy was kinda enough to provide. The night was young after all and she had so many more places she wanted to visit. Still, she just sent him in a generic direction as she was a little preoccupied with her own pleasure. Her hand was down below, pushing and pulling the dildo in and out of herself, her other hand squeezing and massaging her breasts, masturbating hard to her little toyās emotions. How he had to suffer feeling helpless and embarrassed, all because of her.
āAww yeah, this is better than sex or drugs.ā
She focused some more and was surprised to see who Darius had nearly ran right into.
It was one of her foster mothers.
The girls were a horrible experience but at least it was over. But he was pretty sure the memory would haunt him until his grave.
He was exclusively going through alleyways now and was horribly scared, which sadly didnāt take the edge away from the embarrassment and humiliation but just molded around it like an even worse blanket. He could seriously die if he ran into the wrong person or situation in alleyway. Everyone knew that. So when he saw well dressed whore in front of him, he nearly let out a huge sigh of relief. He didnāt, because he couldnāt currently control his breathing, but knowing he was in the safe parts of the city, safe enough for redlight work, was a massive load off his shoulders.
āWhy hello Sir~. Would you like to partake in some fine company this evening?ā
Darius felt himself stop in place and his eyes widened just a little, his heart growing cold.
āNo. No, come on!ā He thought. āDonāt you dare do this to me!ā
Sadly, he felt his hand casually reach up and pull the strap, revealing himself.
The whore in front of him raised an eyebrow and then realizing that he was A. naked and B. most likely not going to pay her, became seriously upset with him. Her whole face practically morphed into the visage of a stern nun.
āYoung man, I hope for your sake you intend to pay me-ā
Her voice cut off as she seemed to catch sight of his currently extremely small dick. His extremely small hard dick.
She sighed an exasperated sigh and rolled her eyes.
āI can see where the lack of potential for the other sex has driven you slightly crazy or mad, but I assure you, working women like myself donāt judge you. As long as you pay us.ā
She outright glared at him, as his hand moved up and started masturbating. Her glare now added a frown to the mix as he continued. This was somehow way way worse than the laughing girls. He felt he was getting chewed out by teacher or something. Like he had morphed back into the classroom and was getting a talking to by a principle and his own mom at the same time, while masturbating forcefully. It was terrible. Despite what the woman said, she was judging him right now, glaring at him, frowning at him, arms crossed, and he could distinctly tell pitying him. All for his actions.
He didnāt care what his blood said could or couldnāt be done. He knew for a fact he was cringing and blushing hard, even through the mind control. He was going to scarred for life from this.
And yet he couldnāt stop. Despite only cumming a few minutes earlier, he couldnāt stop and the pleasure hadnāt ratcheted down at. Soon, he couldnāt help it and while staring into the womanās eyes, he came.
āYou done? Get out of my sight young man. If you come back, you should best have money to pay for this. Itāll be 5000 chit.ā
She pointed, back the way he came, as if she couldnāt stand his presence in front of her for another moment more.
Dariusās feet did in fact turn around and take him away, but Darius himself was locked in his own mind, like a horrible specter had taken it over. Just replaying that scene and words over and over. If he wasnāt under mind control right now, heād toss himself onto the street and cover his face, screaming into the void, before running back and apologizing to the woman profusely, over and over again. Instead, he was stuck and trapped, living a horrible nightmare. It was like going to bed and having a dream of wetting your pants in school and everyone laughing at you, except way worse, and completely real, and sexual to boot. It felt like a physical attack. You know that feeling of suddenly remembering an embarrassing memory. Well living it was always far worse.
His feet came to a halt in a nearby alley.
Cassy was having the time of her life. That woman had always been a stuck up judgemental prick. A good woman but a terrible mother overall. Not her own fault, not really, and Cassy didnāt have any truly negative feelings towards like she did half a dozen other foster parents but seeing the woman she had lived with for a year and half be forced to deal with that was just, amazing. Icing on the best layered cake ever made. Glorious.
And truly, what a glorious cake it was. Darius wasnāt just feeling a lot of humiliation, it had gone nuclear and become so much that she was starting to feel embarrassed and even had to dial it back a little.
The hand that had squeezing and massaging her breasts was now leaving deep marks and bruises on it as she kept squeezing and playing with herself. The hand controlling the dildo was currently slamming it inside herself. She had full control over her own brain and ramped up her own pleasure, feeling even more pulse inside herself. Before long, she felt herself begin to orgasm and just keep going and going, like the warmth of the sun and the pleasure of a million angels mixed with lightning pouring through her whole nerve system.
She let out a deep, earth shaking moan, and then her eyes rolled back into her head and she passed out.
Darius hadnāt moved for at least fifteen minutes. In a way, that was a really good and really bad thing. He was leaning towards it mostly being really bad. Although the, thing that happened that shall not be named, happenedā¦. He could quite literally survive that. Being laughed at by girls all night was fine. Standing out here wearing nothing like a statue for the next 24 hours was not. He knew it was a sex thing for the woman but had she just, gotten bored? Had enough? Or worse, had the program malfunctioned? The idea of program breaking inside his own head terrified him more than the thought of someone controlling him to, apparently, be mild flasher and sex pest. That was, very arguably, fine. As long he didnāt have anything worse happen to him. But now he couldnāt move or do anything.
āHey! Itās that guy!ā
āHuh?! Oh my god it is!ā
Darius may have actually started to cry. He didnāt want to stay stuck here but the people that had found him were the college girls from before! Well, well, at least maybe that could actually help him right?
āWhoa, marlene, heās totally just standing there. Like a freaky robot.ā
āI know, like, what the hell dude?ā
They were still very clearly drunk. One of them cautiously moved closer and poked him in the cheek. The other patted him on the shoulder and then tried to poke his eye. He blinked.
āGah! Well, heās uh, heās still alive?ā
āYeah but heās frozen like a statue!ā
One of them stared at him, like she was trying to figure out some complicated puzzle through the drunk fog. The other one moved his trenchcoat to look at his penis.
āHeās still naked! And hard!ā
āWhatcha think happened to him?ā
āHmmmmmmm.ā
He could practically see the steam rising out of their heads before they both seemed to snap to the same idea at the same time.
āāHe Malfunctioned!āā
He wanted to groan but really, it was close enough.
āLike, his body must have broke somehow. And now he canāt move!ā
āBut, heās still there right? I saw him blink!ā
āāOOOOO!āā
Alright, yes, yes he was having some issues. Please take him to the hospital already!
āUhh, what should we do. Marlene?ā
But Marlene was looking at his coat.
āIām gonna suck on it.ā
āWhat?ā
WHAT?!
āLike, he came in front of us right? Thatās totally uh, consent right?! And his penis is really cute tooā¦ā
āWe canāt! Uh! Hmm. He did cum at us! And he was hitting on us so uh, yeah? Yeah!ā
Darius couldnāt believe what was happening to him but soon he actually saw Marlene get on her knees in a dirty alleyway and felt her lips around his currently tiny dick. He couldnāt help himself and came near instantly.
āGah! Itās like a tick tack that squirts at you a little!ā
āHurry up! I want a turn!ā
Darius wanted to scream as felt those lips return around his extremely sensitive and heightened pleasured cock. When he felt the tongue touch him, he knew it was all over. He came again, but this was fourth time in less than an hour and nothing came out. The woman didnāt stop though, she was barely getting started.
āMy turn! After you, itās my turn to suck the little cock! And then we can take him back to my place!ā
Dariusās next few hours were filled with Post-orgasm torture. Eventually, his mind had enough of the mix of extreme pain and extreme pleasure and he blacked out. When he awoke, he had control of his body and was strangely in a closet. He quietly opened it and saw both women from the night before, sprawled in a drunken heap. He quickly found some clothes and escaped, promising himself never to go to a club again or let someone try to mind meld with him. Lesson learned.
Cassy awoke from her orgasmic release and passing out and reviewed what had happened. Her code had been very nearly broken. Thankfully, she didnāt see a blowjob being given as breaking her code. That was not technically rape to her, even though she knew that was actually bullshit. Still, it could have gone worse.
She looked at two more potential toys she could have through Dariusās eyes and smiled.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 7 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,468,187
Konuwanu joined in and replied with this , 1 day later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,468,724
like is this thread still active or can i just post random stuff to maybe use later
Anonymous Z-12 joined in and replied with this , 50 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,468,750
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 13 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,468,752
@1,468,724 (Konuwanu)
No, this thread is now closed. Please don't post in it.
...Unless you really, really want to.
No, this thread is now closed. Please don't post in it.
...Unless you really, really want to.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 3 days later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,469,487
(Citing a deleted or non-existent reply.)
I tried to report this but the report wasn't sending
I tried to report this but the report wasn't sending
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 19 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,469,488
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Thank you. As far as I can see the report function is working, but I'll keep an eye on it.
Thank you. As far as I can see the report function is working, but I'll keep an eye on it.
Erik !saAqdaazn2 replied with this , 6 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,469,489
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,469,490
@previous (Erik !saAqdaazn2)
Could be, but as I recall the post threshold to enable reporting is pretty low, so you should have it by now. If you can see the link to report, it should work.
I'll pass this on to tteh, anyway.
Could be, but as I recall the post threshold to enable reporting is pretty low, so you should have it by now. If you can see the link to report, it should work.
I'll pass this on to tteh, anyway.
Lady Dead !Pool..v42s replied with this , 4 days later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,530
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 4 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,546
I got my ears pierced by a goth baddie today
Anonymous Z-14 joined in and replied with this , 21 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,763
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 28 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,766
@previous (Z-14)
That's a cute AI (I assume) infographic, but I must object slightly to the implication that the Anontalk userbase formed our userbase. They were, ah, a different sort of crowd.
That's a cute AI (I assume) infographic, but I must object slightly to the implication that the Anontalk userbase formed our userbase. They were, ah, a different sort of crowd.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 1 hour later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,781
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
It's all wrong lol. AnonTalk didn't use ATBBS. In fact, the existence of ATBBS drove Kimmo to the brink of insanity.
It's all wrong lol. AnonTalk didn't use ATBBS. In fact, the existence of ATBBS drove Kimmo to the brink of insanity.
Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE (OP) replied with this , 34 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,792
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
Yes, actually, there are some major errors. Like the part where it says we are friendly. You massive cunt.
Yes, actually, there are some major errors. Like the part where it says we are friendly. You massive cunt.
Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU replied with this , 7 minutes later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,794
@previous (Killer Lettuceš¹ !HonkUK.BIE)
I might be a cunt but at least my dad isn't a scruffy gypsy.
I might be a cunt but at least my dad isn't a scruffy gypsy.
Anonymous Z-15 joined in and replied with this , 4 hours later, 4 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,470,862
@previous (Oatmeal Fucker !BYUc1TwJMU)
> I might be a cunt but at least my dad isn't a scruffy gypsy.
but his daddy beats him up, lol
https://kick.com/hydroponicz
> I might be a cunt but at least my dad isn't a scruffy gypsy.
but his daddy beats him up, lol
https://kick.com/hydroponicz