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You ever have an experience where you found a gay porno magazine when you were a kid and you and your cousin were looking at that shit and didn’t know what it meant so then you started reenacting all the things that you were seeing and now your cousin is in prison for life because he murdered a pregnant woman and you feel guilty about it because you don’t know if the trauma from that had something to do with how he turned out and you wonder if it’s your fault?