Topic: My amazing plans for tonight. You'll all dig this, I'm sure. Suggestions requested.
Mickey started this discussion 15 years ago #1,319
I have a friend who works at Walmart. At my request, she made me Walmart name badges. I'm going to wear them with a standard uniform and walk around the store chatting it up with customers. I may even see if I can sneak into the employee break room and have a drink of water or something.
Ideally, I'd like my other buddy to do it with me (hence the two badges), but we'll what works out. I don't have a camera with me this time. I have a hidden button-lens camera thing that gives average quality audio/video from my first person view.
Any ideas what to say/do? If a manager confronts me, I plan to be like, "yeah, this is my first day working. I interviewed at two Walmarts and kinda forgot which one hired me. I just came to this one because it's closer". Obviously not a good excuse, but it's strictly for lulz.
I might also get on the intercom, which I do just about every time I visit Walmart anyway.
Perhaps I could try doing pressuring sales pitches with various items in the store and put them in people's carts?
Picture very related. Tonight, I'm going to be Walmart associate Dick. :)
Ideally, I'd like my other buddy to do it with me (hence the two badges), but we'll what works out. I don't have a camera with me this time. I have a hidden button-lens camera thing that gives average quality audio/video from my first person view.
Any ideas what to say/do? If a manager confronts me, I plan to be like, "yeah, this is my first day working. I interviewed at two Walmarts and kinda forgot which one hired me. I just came to this one because it's closer". Obviously not a good excuse, but it's strictly for lulz.
I might also get on the intercom, which I do just about every time I visit Walmart anyway.
Perhaps I could try doing pressuring sales pitches with various items in the store and put them in people's carts?
Picture very related. Tonight, I'm going to be Walmart associate Dick. :)
Mickey (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 36 seconds later[^] [v] #25,468
derpNexus !jNexusRe/. joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 17 seconds later, 53 seconds after the original post[^] [v] #25,469
Why do you not post more?
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 seconds later, 55 seconds after the original post[^] [v] #25,470
I see. Perhaps you can wave your penis at traffic.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 43 seconds later, 1 minute after the original post[^] [v] #25,473
Start a petition to retry opening a Walmart in Vallejo so people don't have to drive all the way to American Canyon for low prices.
Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 7 seconds later, 1 minute after the original post[^] [v] #25,474
@25,468 (Mickey)
you forgot to mention your friend was one of the downsies they hire out of corporate pity.
you forgot to mention your friend was one of the downsies they hire out of corporate pity.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,475
Try to drink the anti-freeze. They'll love it!
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 11 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,476
@25,469 (Nexus !jNexusRe/.)
I wish I would. I just get caught up with other things. Mostly my son, work and college. On the computer I usually make music and play video games. I do enjoy popping in from time to time, though.
@25,470 (C)
Been there; done that.
I wish I would. I just get caught up with other things. Mostly my son, work and college. On the computer I usually make music and play video games. I do enjoy popping in from time to time, though.
@25,470 (C)
Been there; done that.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 26 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,477
Heh... you're a Dick.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 22 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,478
Juggle some knives.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 24 seconds later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,479
@25,474 (E)
She's Mexican. Is that the same thing?
@25,473 (D)
But, Vallejo has Mac Dre and nice hyphy shit.
She's Mexican. Is that the same thing?
@25,473 (D)
But, Vallejo has Mac Dre and nice hyphy shit.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 11 seconds later, 4 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,481
Grab some maroon candles and run around screaming that you have dynamite.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,483
Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 seconds later, 6 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,484
YO MICKEY!
HOW'S BABY
HOW'S BABY
jump !VIfloDyEYo joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,485
This will likely get you banned from the store on threat of trespassing. It will be assumed you are casing the joint or in the act of stealing.
If you go into the employee only section they can charge you for trespassing, so don't do that.
If you go into the employee only section they can charge you for trespassing, so don't do that.
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 42 seconds later, 7 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,488
Another idea.
Go to any supermarket that doesn't sell Brussel Sprouts in those tiny little cartons, which are a gouging $2.99. Lucky sells them at $1.29/lb, which is the lowest I've seen. Some places are either $2.99 or $1.99. Those little cartons are always $2.99 everywhere, which sucks. Use a digital camera and then print both on your computer. Come in with the photos and hang both in the break room.
Walmart needs to have better prices for this item.
Go to any supermarket that doesn't sell Brussel Sprouts in those tiny little cartons, which are a gouging $2.99. Lucky sells them at $1.29/lb, which is the lowest I've seen. Some places are either $2.99 or $1.99. Those little cartons are always $2.99 everywhere, which sucks. Use a digital camera and then print both on your computer. Come in with the photos and hang both in the break room.
Walmart needs to have better prices for this item.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 25 seconds later, 8 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,489
25,485
> If you go into the employee only section they can charge you for trespassing, so don't do that.
Depends on the store. In some of them, that's where the bathrooms are.
> If you go into the employee only section they can charge you for trespassing, so don't do that.
Depends on the store. In some of them, that's where the bathrooms are.
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 13 seconds later, 8 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,490
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 25 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,491
Pretend to be a retarded door greeter and crap your pants.
Or, light up a blunt while riding a shopping cart.
Or, light up a blunt while riding a shopping cart.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 9 seconds later, 9 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,492
@25,484 (G)
YO! HE TURNED TWO RECENTLY! VERY GOOD, THX U :3
@25,485 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Very good thoughts. I'll just try to act like a normal associate and mingle with customers. No funny business.
YO! HE TURNED TWO RECENTLY! VERY GOOD, THX U :3
@25,485 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
Very good thoughts. I'll just try to act like a normal associate and mingle with customers. No funny business.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 10 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,494
@previous (Mickey)
Then what's the point? At least piss on the floor while screaming about "Clean Up in Aisle PISS!"
Then what's the point? At least piss on the floor while screaming about "Clean Up in Aisle PISS!"
Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 9 seconds later, 10 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,495
@25,489 (C)
I don't know where the bathrooms for the American Canyon Walmart are, but the other ones well they're usually by the front of the store and they're crappy bathrooms with sinks you have to hold with one hand to keep the water running to rinse the other.
I don't know where the bathrooms for the American Canyon Walmart are, but the other ones well they're usually by the front of the store and they're crappy bathrooms with sinks you have to hold with one hand to keep the water running to rinse the other.
!cPIZZADayc joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 12 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,498
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 46 seconds later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,499
@25,494 (C)
Just to test the waters for now. Especially since I don't have a camera with me this time.
Just to test the waters for now. Especially since I don't have a camera with me this time.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 30 seconds later, 13 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,501
Get totally wasted and high before you go so that it seems funnier.
Anonymous C double-posted this 15 years ago, 30 seconds later, 14 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,503
Take a bottle of piss and pour it out in key locations.
jump !VIfloDyEYo replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,506
@25,492 (Mickey)
Well, you just need to keep from drawing attention to yourself. Don't walk around with your friend, as two employees waking together not working will attract a manager. Have something in your hands and when you aren't talking to a customer, walk quickly and with purpose.
If you are confronted, don't lie. Use clever truths. Don't out yourself, but don't lie. Lies are easy to spot. Our bodies aren't good at telling them.
Well, you just need to keep from drawing attention to yourself. Don't walk around with your friend, as two employees waking together not working will attract a manager. Have something in your hands and when you aren't talking to a customer, walk quickly and with purpose.
If you are confronted, don't lie. Use clever truths. Don't out yourself, but don't lie. Lies are easy to spot. Our bodies aren't good at telling them.
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 26 seconds later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,507
@25,492 (Mickey)
> No funny business.
What, why? Everytime you talk with a customer you should act extremely nice and helpful. Then, once you start walking away mutter comments like "stupid fucking cunt" or "overweight dipshit", etc depending on age and gender. Loldoit.
@25,499 (Mickey)
Oh nvm. At least do this eventually, though.
> No funny business.
What, why? Everytime you talk with a customer you should act extremely nice and helpful. Then, once you start walking away mutter comments like "stupid fucking cunt" or "overweight dipshit", etc depending on age and gender. Loldoit.
@25,499 (Mickey)
Oh nvm. At least do this eventually, though.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 33 seconds later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,510
@25,492 (Mickey)
D'AWWWWWWWW!
2 years old?!?!? growing up too fast... ;_;
I'M HAPPY TO KNOW HE'S DOING GOOD. :D :D
D'AWWWWWWWW!
2 years old?!?!? growing up too fast... ;_;
I'M HAPPY TO KNOW HE'S DOING GOOD. :D :D
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 54 seconds later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,512
Pick your nose while talking to a customer.
Put your hand in your pocket and play with yourself when talking to the manager.
Put your hand in your pocket and play with yourself when talking to the manager.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 23 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,516
@25,506 (jump !VIfloDyEYo)
You should be my consultant at life, lol. You've reshaped my mind before conducting this operation. Good, good.
You should be my consultant at life, lol. You've reshaped my mind before conducting this operation. Good, good.
Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 16 minutes later, 39 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,536
@25,498 (!cPIZZADayc)
> Good. Stay in Vallejo.
I forgot to save my ID but it's me again. I only lived in Vallejo on a 1-month lease so I could look for a better place. I live in San Francisco now.
> Good. Stay in Vallejo.
I forgot to save my ID but it's me again. I only lived in Vallejo on a 1-month lease so I could look for a better place. I live in San Francisco now.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 12 minutes later, 52 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #25,546
Walrus Johnson !!nA4vUO/nd joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 15 hours later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #26,357
HAHAHA brilliant! You should steal a bunch of shit.
Anonymous M joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 days later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #29,866
What happened man? What'yda do?AC !tyLmN8C16E joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 6 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #29,868
@25,488 (D)
> Another idea.
>
> Go to any supermarket that doesn't sell Brussel Sprouts in those tiny little cartons, which are a gouging $2.99. Lucky sells them at $1.29/lb, which is the lowest I've seen. Some places are either $2.99 or $1.99. Those little cartons are always $2.99 everywhere, which sucks. Use a digital camera and then print both on your computer. Come in with the photos and hang both in the break room.
>
> Walmart needs to have better prices for this item.
You seem quite upset about these brussel sprouts, young man.
> Another idea.
>
> Go to any supermarket that doesn't sell Brussel Sprouts in those tiny little cartons, which are a gouging $2.99. Lucky sells them at $1.29/lb, which is the lowest I've seen. Some places are either $2.99 or $1.99. Those little cartons are always $2.99 everywhere, which sucks. Use a digital camera and then print both on your computer. Come in with the photos and hang both in the break room.
>
> Walmart needs to have better prices for this item.
You seem quite upset about these brussel sprouts, young man.
Mickey (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 days later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #33,363
@29,866 (M)
When I went, there was literally like ten employees for every one customer. It wasn't much of a success for that reason.
However, I did try to pressure a guy into buying a tool belt.
Me: "Would you consider buying this tool belt, sir?"
Customer: "Nah, I have one."
Me: "But... not a WALMART toolbelt!"
Customer: *silent stare*
Me: *scoff* and then I threw the belt down onto the lower shelf and walked away.
That's about it for customers. An assistant manager of some sort asked me, "do you work at Walmart?", to which I replied, "yeah, but at a different store." She just said "OK" and walked away.
When I went, there was literally like ten employees for every one customer. It wasn't much of a success for that reason.
However, I did try to pressure a guy into buying a tool belt.
Me: "Would you consider buying this tool belt, sir?"
Customer: "Nah, I have one."
Me: "But... not a WALMART toolbelt!"
Customer: *silent stare*
Me: *scoff* and then I threw the belt down onto the lower shelf and walked away.
That's about it for customers. An assistant manager of some sort asked me, "do you work at Walmart?", to which I replied, "yeah, but at a different store." She just said "OK" and walked away.
Anonymous O joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 49 minutes later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #33,384
well that sucked.