Cockney Carl started this discussion 4 months ago#129,123
Me an’ me china plate were dahn the rub-a-dub, weren’t we. We Adam ‘n Eve’d a right dog’s nose o’ fish ‘n’ frog ‘n’ toad, but we’d knocked back a bleedin’ boat race o’ pig’s ear too. On the way ‘ome after a bit o’ barney rubble, we fancied a ruby Murray, so we dipped in a caff an’ asked for the hottest bleedin’ one in the Jeremy Kyle — proper scorchin’, it was.
Soon as we toddled out, old Bill clocked us an’ come chasin’. So we scarpered, legs goin’ like a frog ‘n’ toad, but our weasel ‘n’ stoats were bubblin’ like a busted kettle. Couldn’t ‘old it, mate — we dropped a right two ‘n’ eight in our whistle ‘n’ flutes. Splashed it all over the frog, didn’t we, an’ the copper only went an’ slipped arse over tit, flat as a pancake.
We got back safe as bleedin’ ‘ouses, laughin’ like a couple o’ dustbin lids, then bunged on some reruns o’ Are You Bein’ Served? an’ watched it till four o’clock in the godforsaken Jack ‘n’ Jill.