Topic: The history of Japan
Anonymous A started this discussion 2 days ago #127,095
In the prehistoric times, strange Chinese people who were considered weirdos and outcasts in China got on a boat and wound up shipwrecked on an island shaped like a banana.
Then for trillions of years, they developed their own society on the banana shaped island, and didn’t attempt to interact with outsiders, because they were hermits.
Then, America came with some warships and was like, "Hey you stupid Japanese, free trade is the western way, open your shit up to outsiders!" And so they did.
Then the Japanese realized that they had spent a hundred trillion years on an island shaped like a banana making nice gardens and swords or temples or whatever instead of creating technology and they couldn’t fight the west. So logically, what the Japanese did when they saw the white man colonize Asia, is they decided to copy the white people, change their religion to make it more like Christianity, make their Emperor Jesus, build warships, build airplanes, and team up with Adolf Hitler to kill and rape as many Chinese and Koreans as humanly possible in order to save the Asian race from colonialism.
Then they did some stupid shit in Hawaii, America flew a couple of gays over Japan, Hiroshima and Nagasaki got nuked, Japan surrender. But the Japanese aren’t mad about it because the USA rebuilt Japan and let Japanese people be about 30% as wealthy as Americans on average, so the Japanese think that’s a super great deal to never have a military again, have American bases forever, and never complain about any firebombing or nukes or whatever.
And that’s basically what Japan is. All other details are mundane and don’t matter.
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