Topic: Tomorrow is Grandma's Memorial.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B started this discussion 15 years ago #12,524
My family from out of state arrived today and we all went to lunch. My cousin began to talk about a book that she had just read called "Heaven is for Real", which is a recollection of a young boy's near death experience. She told me to read it because I would then know that Norma (Grandma) has huge wings in heaven. That hurt me so much. I know that I'm never going to see her again and hearing things like that really make me feel horrible. What do I do when things that bring other people comfort just make me feel worse?Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #224,797
@OP
I'm so sorry to hear that. I feel the same way when I hear people say those kinds of things. Is the memorial going to be a very religious kind of service?
I'm so sorry to hear that. I feel the same way when I hear people say those kinds of things. Is the memorial going to be a very religious kind of service?
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,798
@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
No. In the morning her regular church service will have a small mention and a song. The real memorial is later in the afternoon at her ballpark. Baseball was her whole life and we are going to set up on the clay and sing "take Me Out to the Ball Game" to send her off.
No. In the morning her regular church service will have a small mention and a song. The real memorial is later in the afternoon at her ballpark. Baseball was her whole life and we are going to set up on the clay and sing "take Me Out to the Ball Game" to send her off.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 44 seconds later, 5 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,799
Not everyone is going to cope with it in the same way. Be happy for them that it seems to bring them some peace and closure.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 15 years ago, 56 seconds later, 6 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,801
@224,798 (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Ah that sounds really sweet. I don't know if there's anything you can do except share the non-religious aspects of this with your family, and ignore the religious comments about her being in heaven, and so on. I wish I had better advice to give you. :(
Ah that sounds really sweet. I don't know if there's anything you can do except share the non-religious aspects of this with your family, and ignore the religious comments about her being in heaven, and so on. I wish I had better advice to give you. :(
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 9 minutes later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,807
@224,799 (C)
I am happy that it brings them comfort, but it's really painful for me. I don't know what to do about that.
I am happy that it brings them comfort, but it's really painful for me. I don't know what to do about that.
Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 17 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,808
Well I think that she still is "in a better place" because the complete neutrality of non-existence is by far better than any existence of suffering, which I assume she was in given she couldn't care for herself.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 21 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,812
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 24 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,815
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 18 minutes later, 43 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #224,823
@previous (C)
Because it feels like a false hope. It would be wonderful if I could see my grandmother again one day, but I won't.
Because it feels like a false hope. It would be wonderful if I could see my grandmother again one day, but I won't.
marvin !H0G.H/BnJg joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,840
@224,807 (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
I don't know what you can do besides try to detach and look at it as their personal coping mechanism.
People get really strange with deaths. When my grandfather died, my aunt kept making comments at the viewing about wanting to fuck the priest. I'm not sure what she was on but she was very strange.
I hope tomorrow goes okay for you. I'm sorry.
I don't know what you can do besides try to detach and look at it as their personal coping mechanism.
People get really strange with deaths. When my grandfather died, my aunt kept making comments at the viewing about wanting to fuck the priest. I'm not sure what she was on but she was very strange.
I hope tomorrow goes okay for you. I'm sorry.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,844
@previous (marvin !H0G.H/BnJg)
My Aunt Margaret marched in and started taking things before her body was cold.
My Aunt Margaret marched in and started taking things before her body was cold.
marvin !H0G.H/BnJg replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,847
@previous (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Ugh.
It was discovered when my grandpa was about to die that his live-in son had been stealing from him for years. It got really ugly, and it was awful for the other kids to try to slog through that while grieving at the same time.
People are really awful sometimes, aren't they? :-/
Ugh.
It was discovered when my grandpa was about to die that his live-in son had been stealing from him for years. It got really ugly, and it was awful for the other kids to try to slog through that while grieving at the same time.
People are really awful sometimes, aren't they? :-/
(Edited 12 seconds later.)
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,850
@previous (marvin !H0G.H/BnJg)
You should hear some of the shit that happens to my elderly patients. One man went on vacation and his son sold his home without telling him.
You should hear some of the shit that happens to my elderly patients. One man went on vacation and his son sold his home without telling him.
(Edited 14 seconds later.)
marvin !H0G.H/BnJg replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,852
@previous (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Jesus, that's awful. I can't imagine what that would feel like.
At some point, it seems like (certain) people just write off old people as plants or something, I dunno. It can be totally unexpected from the people who do it, too.
Jesus, that's awful. I can't imagine what that would feel like.
At some point, it seems like (certain) people just write off old people as plants or something, I dunno. It can be totally unexpected from the people who do it, too.
Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,862
I had a near death experience once. It was probably a hallucination but I like to think that you can make your own world after you die and have whatever you like in it.
Anonymous C replied with this 15 years ago, 13 seconds later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,863
@224,823 (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Well, take the time to grieve and come to terms with your own feelings. Other people are going to do that in their own way, but it doesn't mean you have to think their opinions are worth a damn. Just worry about yourself for now.
Well, take the time to grieve and come to terms with your own feelings. Other people are going to do that in their own way, but it doesn't mean you have to think their opinions are worth a damn. Just worry about yourself for now.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,877
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) double-posted this 15 years ago, 4 minutes later, 1 hour after the original post[^] [v] #224,879
@224,852 (marvin !H0G.H/BnJg)
Healthcare workers do that as well. It's like being around so much pain so often makes them hard and they no longer see the elderly as real people.
Healthcare workers do that as well. It's like being around so much pain so often makes them hard and they no longer see the elderly as real people.
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 37 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #224,885
@224,877 (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Drug overdose (so yeah, probably a hallucination). I can't remember much of it, but I remember that there was a kind of swirling fog all around, which was blindingly white.
Also apparently my psychopomp is Pinkie Pie. She said that I can't stay, maybe said more but that's all I remember.
Drug overdose (so yeah, probably a hallucination). I can't remember much of it, but I remember that there was a kind of swirling fog all around, which was blindingly white.
Also apparently my psychopomp is Pinkie Pie. She said that I can't stay, maybe said more but that's all I remember.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 16 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #224,892
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 11 hours later, 13 hours after the original post[^] [v] #225,222
@previous (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Yeah, isn't it strange? I spent last night trying to remember more. I now remember tumbling around with a serious case of vertigo and then Pinkie Pie bounced into my vision. Very smiley. Very pink. Very bouncy.
Also I didn't seem to have a body.
Yeah, isn't it strange? I spent last night trying to remember more. I now remember tumbling around with a serious case of vertigo and then Pinkie Pie bounced into my vision. Very smiley. Very pink. Very bouncy.
Also I didn't seem to have a body.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 2 hours later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #225,266
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 8 minutes later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #225,270
@previous (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
Could you clarify what you mean by 'identify with'?
How was the memorial, by the way? My condolences for your loss.
Could you clarify what you mean by 'identify with'?
How was the memorial, by the way? My condolences for your loss.
swamplights !!V3J448+/B (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 1 hour later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #225,282
@previous (F)
It's at 2:00 today, and I'm dreading it. I meant, do you feel a special connection with that character? Are you a MLP fan?
It's at 2:00 today, and I'm dreading it. I meant, do you feel a special connection with that character? Are you a MLP fan?
(Edited 12 seconds later.)
Anonymous F replied with this 15 years ago, 11 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #225,296
@previous (swamplights !!V3J448+/B)
I'm sure it will be fine, and perhaps it will give you closure.
I think I do. I'm not really sure though. I'd like to know someone like her. Yes I am.
I'm sure it will be fine, and perhaps it will give you closure.
I think I do. I'm not really sure though. I'd like to know someone like her. Yes I am.