Topic: New ideology just dropped: the dildo manifesto
Anonymous A started this discussion 1 year ago#122,674
In the beginning, there was the world.
In ancient times, they said God created the world.
Then later, they said science created the world.
For thousands of years, mankind has philosophized as to the origin of everything and made various assertions of the true nature of reality. The Bible was true because the Bible said that the Bible was the truth. Science said that science was true because the scientific method proved itself. But nothing is the result of itself. All cyclical logic is fundamentally flawed. The true nature of reality, the true purpose of mankind, is owed to the original cause of God and science and everything else man dreamed up: the cosmic dildo of space and time.
Humans are not divided by race or class or nation. All humans serve the ultimate cosmic dildo. This was revealed to me by an angel sperm spirit sent down to speak a message to me, and these are its words exactly and unedited in 5 holy commandments to all of mankind:
1. I am your ultimate creator and your master. You shall serve no other deities before me. I am the cosmic dildo of truth.
2. All men who die fighting against Florida in my name will receive eternal salvation in Heaven and all sins committed in life will be forgiven.
3. I am the only dildo and I exist beyond space and time. All depictions and representations of dildos that are bounded by a location in space are my false images and they must be destroyed with fire and their creators must be skinned alive and burned.
4. Wearing socks with sandals looks strange. Anyone who does this must be beaten to death with rocks and hanged.
5. The punishment for a hit and run with a motor operated vehicle is exactly $5.