Minichan

Topic: Tucking Biden into bed at the retirement home

Anonymous A started this discussion 1 year ago #118,399

He grins as you bring him his pudding and pills, "Cornpop was a bad dude," he says "I couldn't ask for a better vice president for my- for frruh- my third term".

You dim the lights and glance at your phone screen, it's still 2025. "Yes, Mr President. You had a good run." You turn and leave the room.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 17 minutes later[^] [v] #1,301,112

As he lays there trying to sleep, his mind goes back in time, remembering things he has done. One big memory comes flooding back.

He closes his eyes, as the memory comes into play...

March 17, 1956

"The helicopter hovers above the ground, bombs exploding as I eat my ice cream. I walked into my bedroom and peed on the tree in the neighbor's yard.... And... And... I patted my puppy on the dog food as cannibals ate my brother. When I become president, I will sign into law that cannibals can't eat people without making sure their internal temps are in the ground where I planted my tree when I was very young, I was about the age of... Uhhh... Ummm.. yeah, and while I was at church, the teacher told me since I didn't complete my homework, that I couldn't make pancakes because I had hairy legs, and, and, the neighborhood kids would pull on my leg hairs, and when they my mom was a very religious man, my dad once told me that my mom was and the refrigerator broke, the wheel came right off my car, I don't know where that cat came from, but that tree scared me to death.

He finally falls asleep, dreaming about the next time he can't figure out how to get off a stage.

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 5 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,147

@previous (B)

> As he lays there trying to sleep, his mind goes back in time, remembering things he has done. One big memory comes flooding back.
>
> He closes his eyes, as the memory comes into play...
>
> March 17, 1956
>
> "The helicopter hovers above the ground, bombs exploding as I eat my ice cream. I walked into my bedroom and peed on the tree in the neighbor's yard.... And... And... I patted my puppy on the dog food as cannibals ate my brother. When I become president, I will sign into law that cannibals can't eat people without making sure their internal temps are in the ground where I planted my tree when I was very young, I was about the age of... Uhhh... Ummm.. yeah, and while I was at church, the teacher told me since I didn't complete my homework, that I couldn't make pancakes because I had hairy legs, and, and, the neighborhood kids would pull on my leg hairs, and when they my mom was a very religious man, my dad once told me that my mom was and the refrigerator broke, the wheel came right off my car, I don't know where that cat came from, but that tree scared me to death.
>
> He finally falls asleep, dreaming about the next time he can't figure out how to get off a stage.

thats so cool that you are bestowing your joe biden obsessive fantasies upon us

Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 7 hours later, 12 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,179

Once we all learned that corn pop was a real person and an actual bad dude I feel like we entered an entirely different timeloop.

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 4 hours later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,214

@previous (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
I don't remember that - just read up on it. That's pretty gonzo, I feel weird now.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 1 hour later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,228

The funniest that could happen is if Biden loses and dies within a month after because he no longer has constant access to top secret miracle drugs and uppers that were staving off his dementia and Alzheimer’s

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 1 hour later, 20 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,239

@previous (F)

> The funniest that could happen is if Biden loses and dies within a month after because he no longer has constant access to top secret miracle drugs and uppers that were staving off his dementia and Alzheimer’s

Why are you so obsessed with joe Biden and why do you think anyone here gives a shit

Anonymous F replied with this 1 year ago, 4 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,264

@previous (G)

> > The funniest that could happen is if Biden loses and dies within a month after because he no longer has constant access to top secret miracle drugs and uppers that were staving off his dementia and Alzheimer’s
>
> Why are you so obsessed with joe Biden and why do you think anyone here gives a shit

Fuck you

Anonymous G replied with this 1 year ago, 11 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,265

@previous (F)

> > > The funniest that could happen is if Biden loses and dies within a month after because he no longer has constant access to top secret miracle drugs and uppers that were staving off his dementia and Alzheimer’s
> >
> > Why are you so obsessed with joe Biden and why do you think anyone here gives a shit
>
> Fuck you

Kill yourself

Kook !!rcSrAtaAC joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 1 hour later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,272

@1,301,239 (G)
This is a thread about Joe Biden. Why wouldn't he post about Joe Biden here?

(Edited 17 seconds later.)

Anonymous F replied with this 1 year ago, 2 days later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,885

@previous (Kook !!rcSrAtaAC)

> This is a thread about Joe Biden. Why wouldn't he post about Joe Biden here?

He’s upset that Joe Biden is old

Anonymous I joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 6 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,894

How can you be upset with Joe Biden being old? He has been old for 20 years.

Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 2 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,916

@previous (I)
My guess is it's not about him being old. It's about him being very old AND being the president. In the whole country could they not find a single other person more fit to do the job? Why does it HAVE to be a geriatric?

Anonymous K joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 46 seconds later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,917

@previous (J)
We need a young man of 78!

Anonymous J replied with this 1 year ago, 23 seconds later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,918

@previous (K)
> We need a young man of 78!
Precisely!

Anonymous L joined in and replied with this 1 year ago, 12 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,924

@1,301,916 (J)
It's a good centrist play, it courts the older crowd, possibly even a few of the tamer Republicans, and the progressives are fine with him because he's at least on their side of the fence. It's 'safe' but boring.

Anonymous B replied with this 1 year ago, 1 hour later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,301,935

@1,301,917 (K)
What I wouldn't give to be 78 again :)
:

Please familiarise yourself with the rules and markup syntax before posting.