Anonymous A started this discussion 2 years ago#115,879
So at work, I sit near the restrooms. At first I thought that it sucks, but given my permanent immaturity and aversion to "potty humor", I often find my self laughing uncontrollably at the nefarious and braying sounds that echo out. The doors to the bathroom are pretty thin, so when someone's got some serious crapping to do, I can hear it. Sometimes, if the poor person is working on blowing apart their anus, the whole side of the office I sit in can hear. It's really funny how everyone just pretends they didn't hear it though while I'm sitting at my desk trying to quietly control my hysterical laughter....in fact, it dawned on me the other day when I was in the bathroom taking an especially super-noisy poo that my co-workers totally all heard it and likely my snickering amusement that it was so loud. Anyways, I work with this vegetarian French guy who poops a lot and it's always loud. I mean, seriously, it sounds like he has a machine gun instead of an ass. Well today, he was taking one of his frequent boom-boom breaks and he's just ripping it up in there. Louder than ever, you could actually hear the feces being blown into the toilet as if the poor commode was under cannon attack....meanwhile I'm sitting at my desk convulsing violently with compressed laughter. When the barrage finally ended (and it took a while), he naturally flushed.....then flushed again.....and again. A few long moments went by and I was finally getting over my fugue of laughter and I hear flushing again.....then three more times. I lost it. No hope of holding it in, I burst out with a forceful laughter almost as explosive as the feculent Frenchman. What's worse is that the flushing continued...and I kept laughing. My coworkers were looking at me, and I don't think it was because they were curious as to why I was laughing, but because they knew I was laughing at the situation I'm describing. I think that because they had the expression not of curiosity, but of disappointment. As if I had just ran over a puppy with my car and didn't make any attempt to avoid it. After a bit of hysteria, I finally was regaining control of myself. But then I heard more flushing. I was holding back okay, but it continued for a few minutes. I lost it again after several flushes, imagining the beastly BM Frenchy was trying to slay and cast out to toilet hell. I imagined every time he flushed, the dragon-like defecation refused to be tamed into it's cave. That metal image threw me from hysterical to uproarious! I was tearing and my belly hurt, but I couldn't stop laughing. Well, my French coworker finally emerged, and I imagined him weary from battling his monstrous creation and laughed even more...he looked at me puzzled and I thought "Please God, don't let him ask why I'm laughing or I think I'll die of joy" and he went back to his desk. My other co-workers were just pretending to ignore me now and I finally calmed down.
Until.....one of them asked me if I felt better and I replied, you should ask [the French guy] that, and I roared with merriment all over again.