Topic: An Heroic Epic Song Devoted to the Man They Call Bert
Anonymous A started this discussion 2 years ago #112,109
(Verse 1)
In the murky depths of the internet, in a room that's dimly lit,
There dwells a man, his name is Bert, in a world where he doesn't quite fit.
His eyes reflect the cold glow of the screen, his life's but a twisted scene,
In the world of ones and zeroes, Bert, the King of the In-Between.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, in a tale that's undeterred,
Spinning his lonely yarn, where reality's obscured.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, never the hero, always the absurd,
With a life that's full of turmoil, where the line of right's been blurred.
(Verse 2)
A bottle in his hand, a beleaguered stance, living off his mother's grace,
On the endless hunt for the elusive romance, a relentless, fruitless chase.
Behind his keys, a warrior, his banner, the Republican mast,
In reality, an aimless soul, shackled to a darkened past.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, ever the misdirected flirt,
In a world of his own making, where kindness is inert.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, heart heavier than a shirt,
In the tale of the Tennessee loser, where dreams are but dirt.
(Bridge)
He roots for the Vols, in the sea of the defeated,
His cheers echo in empty halls, his fervor never retreated.
An annoyance, a burden, a jester in a somber court,
In the canvas of life, Bert, the melancholic sport.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, ever the disconcert,
His life a melody, a painfully discordant concert.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, in this whimsical report,
His existence a joke, but the laughter is short.
(Outro)
So here's the tale of our Bert, under a cloud, forever caught,
In the relentless whirl of his life, a lesson life has brutally taught.
There's no silver lining, no triumphant resort,
Just Bert, our unlikely protagonist, forever the melancholic sport.
In the murky depths of the internet, in a room that's dimly lit,
There dwells a man, his name is Bert, in a world where he doesn't quite fit.
His eyes reflect the cold glow of the screen, his life's but a twisted scene,
In the world of ones and zeroes, Bert, the King of the In-Between.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, in a tale that's undeterred,
Spinning his lonely yarn, where reality's obscured.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, never the hero, always the absurd,
With a life that's full of turmoil, where the line of right's been blurred.
(Verse 2)
A bottle in his hand, a beleaguered stance, living off his mother's grace,
On the endless hunt for the elusive romance, a relentless, fruitless chase.
Behind his keys, a warrior, his banner, the Republican mast,
In reality, an aimless soul, shackled to a darkened past.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, ever the misdirected flirt,
In a world of his own making, where kindness is inert.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, heart heavier than a shirt,
In the tale of the Tennessee loser, where dreams are but dirt.
(Bridge)
He roots for the Vols, in the sea of the defeated,
His cheers echo in empty halls, his fervor never retreated.
An annoyance, a burden, a jester in a somber court,
In the canvas of life, Bert, the melancholic sport.
(Chorus)
Oh Bert, oh Bert, ever the disconcert,
His life a melody, a painfully discordant concert.
Oh Bert, oh Bert, in this whimsical report,
His existence a joke, but the laughter is short.
(Outro)
So here's the tale of our Bert, under a cloud, forever caught,
In the relentless whirl of his life, a lesson life has brutally taught.
There's no silver lining, no triumphant resort,
Just Bert, our unlikely protagonist, forever the melancholic sport.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 2 years ago, 55 minutes later[^] [v] #1,244,131
Now listen up my nibbas, to this tale I'm about to spin,'Bout a man from Tennessee, the coolest cat who's ever been.
He's so fly, so slick, he's simply outta sight,
This hombre's swagger, it's so unreal, it's outta sight!
He struts down the street with them snakeskin boots,
Rockin' a velvet suit, never in cahoots,
With ordinary folks, nah, that ain't his scene,
He's way too smooth, so glossy, so pristine.
His hat sits tipped low, hiding those dreamy eyes,
Ladies swoon and sigh when he walks by,
He's got the rhythm in his bones, the blues in his veins,
Dancin' through life like he's breakin' chains.
Unrealistic? Yeah, you bet that's a fact,
This Tennessee man got skills nothing can detract.
He's beyond compare, a legend in every way,
Never met another like him, no matter what they say.
(Edited 24 minutes later.)