Topic: A Personal Note from the Qanon Shaman
Anonymous A started this discussion 2 years ago #110,219
Dear friends,I'm writing to you today with some exciting news! After much contemplation and soul-searching, I have decided to convert to Islam. That's right, the man formerly known as the QAnon Shaman is now the Quran Shaman.
I know what you're thinking: "Jacob, how could you betray us and switch sides?" But let me assure you, this decision was not made lightly. I have always been a spiritual person, and I believe that Islam is the right path for me. Plus, the fashion choices are way more comfortable than those tight QAnon shirts.
Now, I know that some of my former peers may be hesitant to accept my decision. But I want you to know that I still have the utmost respect for all of you. I may no longer be a QAnon believer, but I will always cherish the memories we made together storming the Capitol and spreading baseless conspiracy theories.
As the Quran Shaman, I am committed to promoting peace and understanding between different cultures and religions. I have already started learning Arabic and studying the Quran, and I look forward to sharing my newfound knowledge with all of you.
So, to all of my former QAnon comrades, I say this: I still love you, but I'm moving on. To my new Muslim brothers and sisters, I say: Assalamu Alaykum! Let's make the world a better place together.
Sincerely,
Jacob Anthony Angeli Chansley (aka the Quran Shaman)
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 2 years ago, 3 days later[^] [v] #1,228,753
The Qanon Shaman was quite a sight,
With horns on head and might in fight.
But he shocked the world with his decision,
To convert to Islam with great precision.
He traded his fur and feathers for a prayer mat,
And fasted during Ramadan like a true diplomat.
He found peace in Allah's grace,
And left behind the Qanon race.
No more conspiracy theories did he spread,
Instead, he shared the message of peace and love, he said.
He found joy in unity, not division,
And found a new purpose in his new religion.
So let's not judge the Qanon Shaman's choice,
For he found salvation and a new voice.
May his journey inspire others to seek their path,
And may we all find our own way to Allah.
With horns on head and might in fight.
But he shocked the world with his decision,
To convert to Islam with great precision.
He traded his fur and feathers for a prayer mat,
And fasted during Ramadan like a true diplomat.
He found peace in Allah's grace,
And left behind the Qanon race.
No more conspiracy theories did he spread,
Instead, he shared the message of peace and love, he said.
He found joy in unity, not division,
And found a new purpose in his new religion.
So let's not judge the Qanon Shaman's choice,
For he found salvation and a new voice.
May his journey inspire others to seek their path,
And may we all find our own way to Allah.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 2 years ago, 31 minutes later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,228,765
@previous (B)
Oh Qanon Shaman, he's quite a sight,
With his horns and fur, he's quite a fright.
But there's a problem that he can't control,
And it's not his outfit or his vocal roll.
You see, the Shaman has a farting issue,
It's a problem that he can't quite tissue.
His toots are loud and quite potent,
And they often leave people quite broken.
He tries to hold them in, oh so tight,
But sometimes they escape with all their might.
And when they do, people start to scatter,
Leaving the Shaman alone, with his rancid matter.
But he takes it all in stride, does the Shaman,
He knows he's not the only one with a flatulent program.
And so he continues on his Qanon quest,
Farting and tooting, like a true Shaman blessed.
Oh Qanon Shaman, he's quite a sight,
With his horns and fur, he's quite a fright.
But there's a problem that he can't control,
And it's not his outfit or his vocal roll.
You see, the Shaman has a farting issue,
It's a problem that he can't quite tissue.
His toots are loud and quite potent,
And they often leave people quite broken.
He tries to hold them in, oh so tight,
But sometimes they escape with all their might.
And when they do, people start to scatter,
Leaving the Shaman alone, with his rancid matter.
But he takes it all in stride, does the Shaman,
He knows he's not the only one with a flatulent program.
And so he continues on his Qanon quest,
Farting and tooting, like a true Shaman blessed.