Minichan

Topic: my new invention: the doorway cock detector

boof started this discussion 3 years ago #108,980

There's been a lot of concern over cocks being allowed to cross certain doorway thresholds, so I figure I should sell a lot of these. It is coupled to a speaker system that repeats "COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*" with the option to have an accompanying beat and disco lights

spectacles joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 2 hours later[^] [v] #1,219,189

just hire meta. I think he already does this kinda work. or one of the anons. i know it's popular work around here, I'm sure you can find someone.

Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 28 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,191

@previous (spectacles)
Boy, you in for whole 10-gallon hat's worth of trouble if you keep on sayin' that shit. You'd best mosey on outta here, pardner.

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 2 hours later, 5 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,198

@previous (C)
I dont hear an alarm. boof needs to up the sensitivity .

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 30 minutes later, 6 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,200

@1,219,189 (spectacles)

> just hire meta. I think he already does this kinda work. or one of the anons. i know it's popular work around here, I'm sure you can find someone.

Meta is bisexual

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 14 hours later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,332

@previous (D)
I know. I literally just recommended him for the job? I can't do it, I'm pansexual so you may as well just a motion sensor alarm. everyone turns me on.
I'm like a pretty, horny t-rex. but with a nicely ample b-cup. and a 52" hip measurement.
I have an unusually wide pelvis.

I have to wear big booty jeans. it's amazing how well my clothes fit me now.

oh, right, meta. actually I didn't know that. I'm really self centered, but I think that's cool. still in different dating pools. but that's not my fault. that's his fault.
I shouldn't say fault. condition?
mines genetic. mostly.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,350

@1,219,189 (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,367

@previous (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
you're like a bloodhound following me around. you making those sounds with your mouth.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,368

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

boof (OP) replied with this 3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,374

COCK NARCS

Anonymous D replied with this 3 years ago, 19 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,382

@1,219,332 (spectacles)

> I know. I literally just recommended him for the job? I can't do it, I'm pansexual so you may as well just a motion sensor alarm. everyone turns me on.
> I'm like a pretty, horny t-rex. but with a nicely ample b-cup. and a 52" hip measurement.
> I have an unusually wide pelvis.
>
> I have to wear big booty jeans. it's amazing how well my clothes fit me now.
>
> oh, right, meta. actually I didn't know that. I'm really self centered, but I think that's cool. still in different dating pools. but that's not my fault. that's his fault.
> I shouldn't say fault. condition?
> mines genetic. mostly.

Meta would suck you off NSA if you weighed 400 pounds drove a truck and have a big hairy belly

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 53 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,407

@previous (D)
shutup boofgender, you've never gotten ur "dick" sucked, sexlexic genderless no Weiner.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,408

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 30 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,417

@previous (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
confirmed for identifying your tautological epistemology merely by thinking and identifying your boofgender by reverse engineering the unpublished thoughts that it took to arrive at the inception of your own idea as my conclusion.
when you thought "this will help me," I arrived at that point and though, "and they think this will help them, because this is dumb."

no offense. you asked, I answered. you get that right?
I don't think you're dumb, so why do you believe opposite the about me?

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 18 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,420

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 8 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,509

@previous (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
I've seen this before. when Matt get soul trolled deep into his inners. he gets catatonic shitpost tourettes.
it's not that bad, Matt. you'll have a new schitick and be back in you feet tomorrow,
give mama a hug sweetheart. I love you. but don't let me ever catch you trolling post hoc ergo propter hoc at me again , or any other forms of tautology, syllogism fallacies, logic, or reason, or any kind of thinking one may derive an epistemology.

lets keep it to a friend level, or all your ontology are belong to us. and you'll be left trolling with crayons.

everyone else tho, feel free. idc. not mama baby. mama loves u,

boof (OP) replied with this 3 years ago, 5 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,572

I'd rather have an epistemology than a guy piss all over me

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,575

@1,219,509 (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 11 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,607

@1,219,572 (boof)
Matt is super butthurt I suggested brie not give him money and pointed out he's the poster obsessed with attacking their relationship, spreading gossip, and inciting the appearance of general agreement where he can that a breakup is an inevitability despite always being told otherwise and has bad intentions behind stirring discord over their relationship because he cares that they aren't together as the primacy of his motives out of the benefit he feels he can gain from that because he wants something he feels that would be his if they weren't together. personally, I think if that was being said about me and my motives were being misconstrued, I would have something to say about that - as I am often known to do.
I spoke out of turn and offered unwanted suggestions about them stemming from my direct involvement in arguments over things being said about me by kook who I was openly having quarrels with, and I don't know how brie figured in to that except from the one thread where I gave my opinion and suggestions in a misguided way and got told off by brie that my opinions were wrong, I was not welcome to impose suggestions based on where I was not welcome to, I was told to mind my own business and keep those opinions an suggestions and mischaracterizations to myself. I acknowledged to brie that I understood and agreed to no further interference which was how my motives were being understood.
which I did in part by just leaving for nearly 5 months and nothing more was added by me, I haven't continued to involve myself with saying anything about their relationship and I don't have anything to add to what was said, and I plan to stay out of speculating about them and their relationship.
I do have a right to speak to my own motivations and the right to speak out when conclusions are being made counter to reality, and personally I can have an opinion about people's character - not interpersonal relationships I have no subjective experience with, I'll just restate I was talking out of turn, had the wrong impression and that wasn't welcome and it wasn't an attempt to interfere, but it was bad advice to a friend based on my impression of the character of my friendship with their partner which has bearing on me and kook, not brie and kook, which is understandable as is my right to dislike someone for how I am treated by them and she has a right to dislike me for my treatment of her and they both have a right to tell me when they see my interactions as interference in their relationship between them.
but that doesn't mean I have to let go of any and all ability to say I was doing more than I did or had feelings I didn't as to be cast as the source of all continuing and past meddling in their affairs to take all the blame for what Matt at least obviously is trying to engineer. "wasn't him, it was squeegee," is what he wanted to accomplish. reading threads over the last 4 months it's evident that when a boofgender or handle like great white blimp or whatever was co-opted zero effort was made to deny it was me (actually it was intended to appear to be me) in fact, every thread I made was either me agreeing I'm squeegee, or threads by me claiming to be the real squeegee and to quit emailing me. but I always said I was the real squeegee. I never claimed I wasn't squeegee with one exception that I quickly realized would cause an indefensible use of multiple UIDs when I realized there was a lot of speculation about me boofgendering to harass brie and kook. which I will bump momentarily just to claim consistency with that alt uid.
i can't do anything to recover the UID from 5 months ago - but the admin can see that one uid was used to be squeegee, harlot and angry e-mail squeegee.
My point is I'll claim every single thread and word I've said, because my motivations aren't to interfere with their marriage.
And that pisses Matt off and so now his attention is on me, his only concern is appearing to deny himself, never to claim any self-ness, as has been obvious for years he thrives in perceived inconsistency for the disruption he orchestrates.
and it'll piss him off further when I state here that he will never say he won't accept gift from anyone here and will never ask for donations or gifts or anything.
he's already pretended to be ME asking for bitcoin out of some kind of attempt to get back at me somehow or make me appear as willing to beg as him.

which is funny, all me saying I'll never ask for help didn't make him do anything but beg for help as a fake person, I guess because thinking of ever having the good character to assert a willingness to burn free bridges to something not owed to him is the only unacceptable thing he's ever heard anyone ever say in his entire life.

i don't expect anyone else to vow off any and all willingness to accept money, help, or any kind of material or immaterial support, gift, or charity.

but, I want nothing to gain from anyone, my motivation is to subtract myself entirely from greedy, opportunistic benefit to myself at other's expense. he just sees that as an attack on his ability to grub for truffles in areas he roots through like a feral hog.

I never suggested he has to swear off begging for free shit he has no right to expect - I know he won't, but I know no one else will either. he just can't allow the very idea of it.

because it's of selfless good character to give my word, and take nothing in return from anyone here ever and that's a commitment I will starve to death on rather than live with myself having Matt's character - which is my he'll never piss on nicki. I'm above him, but that not my fault. that's the pig's fault for rooting deeply into the dirt.he will have to be satisfied pissing on Graves, not like the piss ever reaches the depths of a destructive invasive species of fat nuisance that is shot cold by the light of day when it gets into your property.

I'm from Texas. this is how we troll.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 9 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,608

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,614

@1,219,575 (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
you see that? that's how you know you got hogs. they leave track like a bulldozer. fucking up everything in their path and piles of shit everywhere, no fence can stop 'em. once their feral.

googleable facts. not one exaggeration. you can bank on that. that's why we hate banks we spend our fact on guns and ammunition. and shoot the hogs back into the swampland where they came from.

see, all these fact are 100% true. it's not. my. fault. when everything is on theme compared to another theme by simile or metaphor, I honestly don't know the meaning of irony, which is why it's so funny when I am or when I have or will be being, ironic if I ever have or will have been or will be or am soon to be being, when I have, or am or will be soon. I don't even know what I'm saying half the time, but it's funny how hogs are an introduced species, the were introduced by the French. and that's 100% true, irony is supposed to be unexpected, and that's all way too on the nose for anything like coincidence. I don't even think about it I just say stuff and figure y'all try and make sense out of it.

if he were really a pig, how that would be ironic? suspect that I know what the opposite of what was supposed to have been being unexpected to have had to have been being if you were supposed to have been expecting the opposite of what I was supposed to have been expecting you to have been being suspecting me to have been being. that's barely even a coincidence. it's not ironic that he IS a human. unless he really IS which is what is actually been what he is suspected to be suspected to have been being! despite all the coincidence he just happens to have been from the same place feral pigs got released from. and I'm not responsible for saying I will never accept money or gifts or any kind of hand out - not out of disrespect, but out of sense of what is supposed to be being expected.

so I suspect Matt is right within respect to what he was supposed to have been suspecting himself to have been expecting himself to be suspecting himself to be expected to have been being expected to be suspected to be being suspected to be being being himself be expecting himself to be suspecting that he's suspected to be human! and I suspect he really is! if that's the truth I don't see how that's ironic.

if the truth is he is a feral pig, then I guess I really don't know what irony is. those seem like coincidences to me. probably unrelated, I'm quite sure he IS human.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 4 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,615

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,616

the same as all y'all are supposed to be suspected of expecting what he is supposed to be suspecting of believing himself to be what he is expected to be believing himself to be?

I still fail to see how any of this is ironic.
👁️👃👁️
👄 👂 🫴
🫲

spectacles double-posted this 3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,617

@1,219,615 (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
I could have asked Brie to give you a hundred bucks, but no, I'm specifically not going to ask brie to give you that 100 bucks.
👁️👃👁️ .-.-💸
👄 👂 🫰
all that sweet, sweet money I don't have access too.

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,618

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

Anonymous D replied with this 3 years ago, 12 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,619

@1,219,617 (spectacles)

> I could have asked Brie to give you a hundred bucks, but no, I'm specifically not going to ask brie to give you that 100 bucks.
> 👁️👃👁️ .-.-💸
> 👄 👂 🫰
> all that sweet, sweet money I don't have access too.

In five years you will be lying dead on the side of a road chewed on by raccoons!

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 1 minute later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,620

@1,219,618 (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
👁️
₃👃👁️ -you can hear something offensive rooting around under the ground when you got feral pigs. is this going to be like "fish dicks" on southpark?
👇👂🤚 are you a feral pig, Matt, this is how they said it's ironic Kim Kardashian's no hobbit.

spectacles double-posted this 3 years ago, 14 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,621

@1,219,619 (D)
and Matt will still not have that $100 bucks. what the hell, I can not ask brie to give matt $300 bucks
bye bye 300 dollars I could have, but won't ask for Matt to have just because I wouldn't even do it anyway. but even if I would, I'd still not do it cause I'd like to not.

spectacles triple-posted this 3 years ago, 21 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,622

how this thread got from A to D, y'all, I have no idea
👁️👃👁️
👄 👂🫴
🫲

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 17 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,625

@1,219,621 (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,627

@previous (F)
👁️👃👁️
👄 👂🫳
🫴 -feral hogs multiple in number rapidly. this is not my fault. it's just on theme. I'm just narrating at this point

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 8 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,641

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 14 hours later, 3 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,683

👁️
👃👁️
☝️ ¬ 👂🫳 -ssshhh. what do you mean,"'are you sure' it's attracted to money?" of course i'm sure. what else would it be rooting around for?
💰💵💵 🪤
💰💵

(Edited 1 minute later.)

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 11 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,693

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 2 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,701

@previous (Phatthew Phosteet Philler)
see, not a truffle pig. it head's directly towards the money traps. obviously it's no coincidence. if it were a truffle pig it would have a job.

boof (OP) replied with this 3 years ago, 8 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,703

oh me and my pig we go a truffle-ing, a truffle-ing, a truffle-ing
yes me and my pig go a truffle-ing
every Saturday dawn

spectacles replied with this 3 years ago, 23 minutes later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,704

@previous (boof)

> oh me and my pig we go a truffle-ing, a truffle-ing, a truffle-ing
> yes me and my pig go a truffle-ing
> every Saturday dawn

dw?

Phatthew Phosteet Philler replied with this 3 years ago, 1 minute later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,705

@previous (spectacles)
COCK *woop woop* COCK *woop woop* THERE IS A COCK ON PREMISES *woop woop*

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 6 hours later, 4 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,744

@1,219,407 (spectacles)
I KNEW IT!

Anonymous H joined in and replied with this 3 years ago, 15 hours later, 5 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,219,795

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