chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,223
@previous (E)
Very much alive
Got very burnt out doing archaeology, moved to a (surprisingly very interesting and fulfilling) office job. I stopped taking my adhd meds when i switched jobs because i thought i'd no longer need them since i wasn't doing manual labour. So after the first couple of weeks i had zero energy or awake time for like...life stuff. I would even just start sleeping (uncontrollably, not on purpose) at work. I just started the meds again last week and am starting to get my life and social relationships back on track.
Anonymous E replied with this 3 years ago, 28 minutes later, 7 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,234
@previous (chill dog !!81dzJNNYL)
Sounds like you could also be depressed? But in any case it's good that you found a fulfilling job. Hope it pays decently as well too.
Semi-unrelated but have you considered supplementing with nicotine? There's more ways than ever now, vaping, pouches, (ultra high strength) snus, patches. It's like turning your brain back on I think. Sure you may get addicted, but how's that different than it simply working?
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,236
@previous (E)
Oh i'm definitely depressed. I've been medicated for that for a long time. I have had sleep issues for a very long time, thats why i was prescribed amphetamines/adhd meds - having adhd was just a coincidence lol
I'm recently considering that i may actually have long-cycle bipolar rather than just major depressive disorder (and generalised anxiety disorder and panic disorder and ptsd and adhd...), it would explain a few things and matches up with my life. It's just hard to tell when your hypomanic and depressive phases each last several months.
I doooo actually smoke tobacco. Less than I used to but still some. Lately at at work when I reach the point where my brain is melting and i can't think or i'm exhausted and about to pass out i try to take a smoke break to break out of my rhythm and snap out of it. Helps a little bit.
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 7 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,249
@previous (E)
I've definitely never been full-on manic, but i do feel like i have periods of hypomania as well as periods of depression. I can feel it in things like my self-confidence and general energy levels. But over time periods like this (months) those changes could be attributed to just about anything else, like stress or other life circumstances or even just a lack of strong self-identity/confidence and being too easily swayed by events and people. But it doesn't seem to necessarily line up with how well/badly my life is going.
Please do elaborate more on the snus. I have used snus a couple of times in my first year of uni but not since then.
Anonymous E replied with this 3 years ago, 19 minutes later, 8 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,255
@previous (chill dog !!81dzJNNYL)
I was listening to this podcast a few years ago, Radiolab I think, that was describing the story of a woman who had severe bipolar disorder who responded well to lithium. And how no one really knows how or why it works. It's not even a molecule ffs. Anyway, I believe she had to stop taking it because the dose was high enough that it was destroying her kidneys. If I recall, they originally discovered the effects of lithium because they observed some towns had much lower incidences of disorders like bipolar disorder than neighboring towns. And they narrowed it down to the lithium in the water source.
Lithium kind of reminds me of the story about L-DOPA. Which when first discovered was highly effective at getting people with a severe, locked in form of Parkinsons moving, walking, even dancing again. Although sadly the effects are short lived and the disease continues progressing anyway. Not exactly the same as the problems with lithium, but anyway...
Maybe lithium isn't as futile of a treatment option though. IDK. I never really looked much into it much beyond the podcast episode.
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 13 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,258
@previous (E)
A long-time friend of mine who has severe bipolar usually responded well to lithium, when she took it. A common issue with psych medications is that many people feel better and decide that they no longer need the medications (which are the things keeping them stable) and stop taking them. Also with many mental disorders it is very hard to see that there is something wrong to be treated. How are you supposed to tell that the lens you see the world through is twisted when you can't see outside that lens? It's a difficult issue for sure.
That's an interesting story about the discovery of lithium as a treatment for bipolar, i'll have to look into it. I kind of get where you're coming from with "it's not even a molecule ffs" but sometimes people get mentally fucked up (and physically, but we're talking about mental issues rn) due to a simple vitamin or iron (etc) deficiency. Then there's things like how gut microbe health affects the brain, which we are only just beginning to learn about. Shit's complex, man.
Anonymous E replied with this 3 years ago, 4 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,259
@1,218,249 (chill dog !!81dzJNNYL) > Please do elaborate more on the snus. I have used snus a couple of times in my first year of uni but not since then.
I started with stuff like the General, which is fine. Then I graduated (lol) to stronger one's like Jakobsson. From there, I discovered there was even a stronger brand called Siberia, so naturally I had to "try" that. Been taking it ever since. At the time, I think Siberia was the strongest on the market, now I believe there are even stronger brands. Although for me, Siberia is more than enough.
There are periods where I'll use it all day every day. And periods, for various reasons (like now) where I won't touch it for months.
The first Siberia of the day always hits hard and it consistently makes me feel dizzy in a good way way more than any other form of nicotine I've taken. After the first or second, I'm just focused and in a much better mood. Days when I take it I can focus and read/learn about difficult subjects for 16 hours no problem. I use it to learn about topics I'd never have the time energy or patience to learn about. I never actually use it to work, mostly because I feel like I'm "wasting" it.
For me, it's a lifelong addiction. When I'm using it, I'm learning about interesting new topics and pushing myself mentally. When I'm not using it, I'm wasting my life away online, consuming trash and producing trash.
Although I'm not sure if any of this is what you were really asking for lol.
Anonymous E double-posted this 3 years ago, 10 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,260
Oh, yeah, I should say Siberia tastes horrible and if you use it, you will never get used to the taste. It tastes way worse than any other snus I've tried.
I got someone I know to try it and it took them a while to learn to tolerate it. Team nicotine has a way of winning people over, though!
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 8 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,262
@1,218,259 (E) > The first Siberia of the day always hits hard and it consistently makes me feel dizzy in a good way way more than any other form of nicotine I've taken. After the first or second, I'm just focused and in a much better mood. Days when I take it I can focus and read/learn about difficult subjects for 16 hours no problem. I use it to learn about topics I'd never have the time energy or patience to learn about. I never actually use it to work, mostly because I feel like I'm "wasting" it.
> For me, it's a lifelong addiction. When I'm using it, I'm learning about interesting new topics and pushing myself mentally. When I'm not using it, I'm wasting my life away online, consuming trash and producing trash.
Honestly it sounds like you're using snus the way someone with adhd uses amphetamines. Might be something to look into.
I do get a head rush when i have a cigarette for the first time in several days. Due to the different ROI it only lasts a few minutes versus...i dont know how long snus does this for you. But nicotine is a mild stimulant iirc
> Although I'm not sure if any of this is what you were really asking for lol.
Honestly all i'm asking for is some decent conversation and/or interesting posts. I'd say this qualifies.
Anonymous E replied with this 3 years ago, 3 hours later, 13 hours after the original post[^][v]#1,218,300
@previous (chill dog !!81dzJNNYL) > Honestly it sounds like you're using snus the way someone with adhd uses amphetamines. Might be something to look into.
I'm sure I could get a diagnosis, but I doubt I'd get a dosage (or even a script at all) that'd work for me due to other health problems. The times I've taken enough adderall to get me to the level I like to be at, it really fucks up my sleep schedule. Snus never does that to me and I can stay focused right up until the last hour or more if need be.
I feel like, in a real way, everyone has adhd. Everyone could use a little more focus, stamina, and attention in the modern world. We didn't evolve for this shit. We evolved to pick berries, track game a few hours every other week, or throw pointed sticks at fish an hour a day.
If medical science were as it is now but instead 300 years ago, when so many people were in the fields or doing manual labor, I think muscular dystrophy would've been the new (old?) adhd. "Lookin' a bit weak there, bro, take this script for testosterone and you'll be able to work longer and harder." Yeah, pretty much everyone would've been able to make use of that.
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 15 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#1,218,349
@previous (E) > feel like, in a real way, everyone has adhd. Everyone could use a little more focus, stamina, and attention in the modern world. We didn't evolve for this shit. We evolved to pick berries, track game a few hours every other week, or throw pointed sticks at fish an hour a day.
There absolutely was a period where adhd was getting way over-diagnosed due to, well, exactly this. But there is a difference between "i could use a little more focus to get through the day" and "i am absolutely non-functional as an adult human being"
Anonymous E replied with this 3 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#1,218,414
@previous (chill dog !!81dzJNNYL)
Measures of attention/inattentiveness always come out as uni-modal Guassian-like distributions.
If there were a second peak in the distribution, as there is with, say, human height, caused by something like dwarfism, then I could believe it is a meaningful disorder.
Some people are taller and stronger than others. Some people can focus better than others. There's no discrete, clearly discernable point, other than arbitrary cut-offs, that you can choose to define adhd in a meaningful way.
But all of this has and always will be a distraction. Every adult should be on stimulants whether it be adderall, nicotine, or even just plain old caffeine. And no one should need the blessing of another human to obtain them.
No one should feel bad or need to justify drug usage like this, especially if it is improving their lives. That covers all of us.
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 3 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#1,218,449
@previous (E)
I know plenty of people who use illicit or illicitly obtained drugs to obtain a state of mind that is "normal" for most people. That can be stimulants for focus or energy, benzodiazapines for calmness, opiates for calmness or lack of pain. Or as you said caffeine and nicotine are legal easily-obtainable stimulants as well.
However i will draw a line between using drugs for fun vs for function. But that line is very fuzzy and indistinct, i know, and fun and function can and do overlap.
I also don't agree with punishment for drug use/abuse/addiction. I was supposed to get a job at a non-profit that works towards harm reduction for addicts (they lost funding like the day before they wrote up a contract for me and couldn't afford it any more - and i know this isn't a lie to make me feel better because i know multiple people who work there)
chill dog !!81dzJNNYL replied with this 3 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^][v]#1,218,453
@previous (E)
Because I think it is important to understand the motivations behind your actions. Do you play video games because they're kinda interesting and you're bored or because your mum and dad are constantly fighting and that's how you block out the screaming?
It's just harder to work on yourself if you dont understand yourself.