Minichan

Topic: This really happened at work tonight.

Falco !PZmcClOUDk started this discussion 15 years ago #10,810

Alan: Yeah I need a computer.
Me: I'm sorry. I personally use a macbook at home.
Alan: Is that one of those iPad things?
Me: Well no, it's a type of laptop made by Apple.
Alan: Ohh yeah a laptop. Does it go on the inernet and stuff?
Me: No, actually, you can't use the internet on a Macbook.
Alan: (slightly disappointed) Oh...

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later[^] [v] #192,609

@OP
Alan is such a fucking troll.

jump? joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 15 minutes later, 16 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #192,614

@previous (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)

> Alan is such a fucking troll.

Anonymous D joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,632

Where do you work? Did Alan go home right then?

Anonymous E joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,634

Wow that's fucking crazy, got any more stories to share?

Alan !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 18 seconds later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,635

@OP
Dude that's so fucked up. I was just fucking around and you posted it on MC?? WTF? It's fucking on now bro.

Anonymous F joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,637

@previous (Alan !gNoGoD5HzQ)
Hey OP I just wanted to let you know that this is probably not Alan from work posting this, so don't freak out okay?

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 8 minutes later, 2 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,641

@previous (F)
Can't we just fucking joke around from time to time? Of course I'm not Alan from work. The joke was...fuck it man. Just fuck it.

cccuuunnttt !nIGga.SL0w replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,643

@previous (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)
lol. mad.

Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,645

@previous (cccuuunnttt !nIGga.SL0w)
More let down than anything.

Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 16 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,649

@previous (Leo Vegas !gNoGoD5HzQ)

:V you ruined anon F's funny

Anonymous G joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 9 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,654

@previous (D)
That's the joke >:|

Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 25 minutes later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,679

@previous (G)

Yes, I know <:\

Falco !PZmcClOUDk (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 5 hours later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,886

@192,632 (D)

> Where do you work? Did Alan go home right then?

Nah it was before "lunch" at 3:30 and we go home at 5. I work a graveyard shift at a local office depot.

@192,634 (E)

> Wow that's fucking crazy, got any more stories to share?

Oh I will.

@192,635 (Alan !gNoGoD5HzQ)

> Dude that's so fucked up. I was just fucking around and you posted it on MC?? WTF? It's fucking on now bro.

Lies. Alan can't use a browser or complete a sentence.

DXMeowth joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 8 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,891

@previous (Falco !PZmcClOUDk)
Was he high?

Falco !PZmcClOUDk (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 5 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,898

@previous (DXMeowth)
Didn't seem like it.

Though, one morning at like 4am, he started like acting crazy and got hysterical over his own jokes and was being really annoying. He could have been on some upper then. I also think he might be bipolar, but I'm not a doctor, so I don't know.

(Edited 2 minutes later.)

DXMeowth replied with this 15 years ago, 1 minute later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,900

@previous (Falco !PZmcClOUDk)
Interesting. What do you think his age was?

Falco !PZmcClOUDk (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 9 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,904

@previous (DXMeowth)
He bragged about being over 21, but I don't know. He acts like he's under 18.

DXMeowth replied with this 15 years ago, 3 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,905

@previous (Falco !PZmcClOUDk)
Maybe he's autistic.

Falco !PZmcClOUDk (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 50 minutes later, 10 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,931

@previous (DXMeowth)
Could be.

Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 52 minutes later, 11 hours after the original post[^] [v] #192,979

@192,904 (Falco !PZmcClOUDk)

Oh, I pictured him to be around 40

DXMeowth replied with this 15 years ago, 2 hours later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #193,213

@192,931 (Falco !PZmcClOUDk)
Probably.

@previous (D)
So did I. Or at least 24-25.

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 7 hours later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #193,571

Lady: I need a smart phone
Me: Why do you need a smart phone?
Lady: My son and some of my friends told me I should get a smart phone.
(I try to explain the features of the phone and how it works.)
Lady: Wait a second, what's a webpage?

Girl: I want one of those Seiko watches you had on display last week. There was a display right here.
Me: We sold out. That's why we pulled the display off the floor.
Girl: All of them?
Me: Yeah. (To my boss: Nope, half of them, then we decided to hide the rest.)

Employee (on the radio): Major sales, member needs help getting a cammer at da cammers
Me (not over the radio): "Cammer at da cammers." Do you think she meants cameras? Good thing she said the cameras at the cameras or I might have gone looking through the TVs.
Me (over the radio): I'll be just a minute. Do they need help picking one or do they just want to get one because you could just show them how to get one.
(They didn't need my help at all. The woman was just retarded.)

Man: Which ink do I need to get?
Me: Well, do you know what your cartridge number is?
Man: Is that the number on my printer?
Me: No, it's the number on the ink cartridge.
Man: Oh, I duuno. Can you help me find it?
Me: Sure, what model is your printer?
Man: I dunno, I want you to help me find it.
...
(Luckily he bought the printer here, so we were able to eventually find the printer he bought.)
Me: OK sir, you need 564 cartridges.
Man: How can you tell?
Me: It says 564 right here on the box. It also says 564 on your empty cartridges. It says 564 on the printer, it says 564 in your manuals, and there's a little wallet sized card in the box that says 564 on it, so you can put it in your wallet and not forget (just in case you're a moron like this guy whose brain can't store 3 fucking digits.)

Everybody: I bought __ six months ago and now it's doing (insert obscure problem here).
Me: There a tech support number on the box, and on that sticker, and in that envelope we gave you, and on the bottom of your receipt. I am not tech support, I am sales. Call the number we gave you instead of driving to the store and tracking down the person who sold it to you.

Indian(s): Will this TV work in India?
Me: Well, it's not 240 volt, so no. This TV over here is 240 volt. It should work with the right power cable.
Indian(s): Does it have a PAL tuner?
Me: No, none of our TVs have PAL tuners.
Indian(s): Then how am I supposed to get a TV that will work in India?
...
BUY YOUR FUCKING TVS IN INDIA

Woman: Something is wrong with my phone. It's shocking me.
Me: Let me see it. (I call the phone with my phone. It vibrates. I hand it back to her an call it again. It vibrates.)
Woman: IT'S SHOCKING ME!
Me: Ma'am, it's not shocking you. The phone is on vibrate.

Woman: My phone is broken. I need to return it.
(I plug in the phone to try to get it working.)
Me: Ma'am, your phone's not broken, the battery was just dead. You need to charge it.
Woman: I need to charge it? Why does it have to be charged?
(Apparently there are a group of people out there who think phones these days are nuclear powered, I guess.)

Someone: I want to return this TV.
Me: It says here you bought it 6 months ago. You can't return it.
Someone: But it came with a 2-year warranty!
Me: That a warranty, not a return policy. (I have to explain the difference.)

Shit like this, all day, every day.

Anonymous D replied with this 15 years ago, 5 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #193,635

@previous (Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4)

You seem very pretentious and your sarcasm is irritating.

Anonymous G replied with this 15 years ago, 13 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #193,643

@previous (D)
No, I'm familiar with what he describes. It's very accurate. It can be hard to deal with shit like that daily. Having to explain that battery powered devices, such as tv remotes, need batteries periodically drains your will to live.

"But it worked fine yesterday!"
"Yes ma'am, but the batteries are now dead, if you replace then it will work again."
"Well, I've never had to do this before, are you sure?"
"...quite."

Broseph !!fxnDb+Ve4 replied with this 15 years ago, 30 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #193,660

@previous (G)
A friend of mine who used to sell cell phones spent about half an hour arguing with an old guy who thought that the numbers of bars he had was how many minutes he had left and couldn't grasp the concept of signal strength. He just kept arguing over and over "I still have 450 minutes left! I demand to have more bars!"
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