Topic: Special Owl Announcement: I found religion when I was away.
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU started this discussion 15 years ago #10,278
When I was away for the last few months, I found myself with a lot of free time. So much free time, in fact, that I found myself extremely bored. To help break up the monotony, I turned to three things: My Little Ponies, hard drugs and excessive masturbation. Now I am not impying that I masturbate to My Little Ponies when high on hard drugs, in any way; some people might, but not me. I keep them seperate, like one would keep sharp objects and testicles seperate. But anyway, after a short while, My Little Pony stopped being such a time-sink, for I had reached the limits of the fandom and there was not enough to do. As a result, my excessive masturbation took on a whole new dimension. I began masturbating to the craziest porn possible. Fat black women vomited on sentient teddies. People had orgies with piles of mud. A man was brutally anal raped by a dolphin. There were no limits to my deprevity. One sunny Sunday morning, I was walking past the church thinking of all the crazy pornography I was going to watch thinking of the building, when a great beam of light emerged from the doors. "Hey," a voice boomed in my head "Hey, faggot. Come in here, you'll like it, I promise." Enamoured to the light, I ventured into the building, and emerged a changed man. I had never read such beautiful words as I had read when I was in that building. I knew at that moment that I was destined to be a warrior of His creed. So, friends, I ask you. Will you not hear the call? Will you not take the words of the Lord Jesus Christ to heaHHAHAHAHAHA GO FUCK A SHIT UP YOUR ASS.
!ocurburUbk joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 2 minutes later[^] [v] #182,790
Oh. How is it?
The Owl !KThEOwLwbU (OP) replied with this 15 years ago, 44 seconds later, 2 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #182,791
Nega !34Kas0OdzM joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 47 seconds later, 3 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #182,792
That's fascinating, really.Breakfast of Champions !!snnYcROO9 joined in and replied with this 15 years ago, 21 minutes later, 25 minutes after the original post[^] [v] #182,806
> 2011> not being a Bokononist