Topic: The Official Minichan™ Zombie Apocalypse Survival Thread™
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE started this discussion 5 years ago #100,396
This is not a gun thread, per se. Rather, it is a thread about surviving the inevitable zombie apocalypse. Who do you want on your team? Ballistic armor, weapons, strategies, etc. So they make backpacks that have ballistic armor in them:front and back panels. google them and look at reviews. They are a way to get ballistic armor for cheaper, without buying a full, heavy, military vest. Also, ballistic helmets are not too expensive.
Anonymous B joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later[^] [v] #1,132,209
Monkeyroll.
Anonymous C joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 3 hours later, 3 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,263
I think ballistic armor is necessary.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 10 hours later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,325
My Minichan zombie apocalypse dream team:
1. Bert: will lose his temper and rush the zombies to fistfight them. While he is being eaten alive as a distraction, the rest of us run away.
2. Ninjj: along with me, we will be the weapons experts and primary gun fighters against the zombies.
3. Triptych: along with me, we will be the brains behind the operation.
4. Becky: will be in charge of food and will provide us all with fresh, healthy, spicy salads
5. Kook: will be the team medic, of course.
1. Bert: will lose his temper and rush the zombies to fistfight them. While he is being eaten alive as a distraction, the rest of us run away.
2. Ninjj: along with me, we will be the weapons experts and primary gun fighters against the zombies.
3. Triptych: along with me, we will be the brains behind the operation.
4. Becky: will be in charge of food and will provide us all with fresh, healthy, spicy salads
5. Kook: will be the team medic, of course.
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 35 minutes later, 14 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,335
Ok let's group our users based on utility:
Definitely useful
Me: Someone needs to do all the thinking and planning. I will also have a role as comic relief.
Kook: actual medical experience is crucial during survival situations. Easily the best person here to have in your squad.
Becky: Laws will not exist but she is probably the best negotiator here out of anyone given her profession. Invaluable skill to have when diplomacy with other groups is the difference between life and death
Maybe useful
Father Merrin - someone who provides spiritual guidance and comfort is valuable in the abstract. I think he has enough haters here that if he gets paired with one of them, things will go poorly.
Wildcards
Indy - he could be the guy who saves you from armed robbers or he may relapse on the Sinclair method and shoot you all while saying "poopfart, pronounced as one word". Also if he is as schtick-y IRL as he is online, you will beg for him to shoot you. Possoble his culinary skills make up for this but it is hard to call.
Triptych - has a lot of experience with street kids and probably has useful knowledge on surviving under pressure. Is probably too physically small to be of much use lugging things around though.
Useless
Dylan - so useless he will not even try to convince me he isn't useless.
Bert - do I even need to say anything?
Catherine - I will end up strangling Catherine if we are stuck together for a long period of time, and I like Catherine.
Dreamworks - ugh
Ninjj- ugh with a gun
Killer Lettuce - nice enough fellow but he's essentially a weeb and weebs do not last long in the wild
FTD - teaching kids is a nice skill but will not help you survive. May also go on a gin-induced rampage
Meta - libertarians are the first to go when the world ends
TheOwl - not sure what he brings besides being British
Tteh - being a sysadmin doesn't mean shit when there are no more sys to admin.
Foxygen - furries must die.
Svet - whatever skills he may have will be outweighed by his personality
NZ Troll - see above
Sheila - lovable but idk if he has what it takes to survive in a cruel world.
Definitely useful
Me: Someone needs to do all the thinking and planning. I will also have a role as comic relief.
Kook: actual medical experience is crucial during survival situations. Easily the best person here to have in your squad.
Becky: Laws will not exist but she is probably the best negotiator here out of anyone given her profession. Invaluable skill to have when diplomacy with other groups is the difference between life and death
Maybe useful
Father Merrin - someone who provides spiritual guidance and comfort is valuable in the abstract. I think he has enough haters here that if he gets paired with one of them, things will go poorly.
Wildcards
Indy - he could be the guy who saves you from armed robbers or he may relapse on the Sinclair method and shoot you all while saying "poopfart, pronounced as one word". Also if he is as schtick-y IRL as he is online, you will beg for him to shoot you. Possoble his culinary skills make up for this but it is hard to call.
Triptych - has a lot of experience with street kids and probably has useful knowledge on surviving under pressure. Is probably too physically small to be of much use lugging things around though.
Useless
Dylan - so useless he will not even try to convince me he isn't useless.
Bert - do I even need to say anything?
Catherine - I will end up strangling Catherine if we are stuck together for a long period of time, and I like Catherine.
Dreamworks - ugh
Ninjj- ugh with a gun
Killer Lettuce - nice enough fellow but he's essentially a weeb and weebs do not last long in the wild
FTD - teaching kids is a nice skill but will not help you survive. May also go on a gin-induced rampage
Meta - libertarians are the first to go when the world ends
TheOwl - not sure what he brings besides being British
Tteh - being a sysadmin doesn't mean shit when there are no more sys to admin.
Foxygen - furries must die.
Svet - whatever skills he may have will be outweighed by his personality
NZ Troll - see above
Sheila - lovable but idk if he has what it takes to survive in a cruel world.
(Edited 3 hours later.)
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 19 minutes later, 15 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,341
jodie !foster2PAQ joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 1 hour later, 16 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,343
@1,132,335 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> Ninjj- ugh with a gun
offended. I am a backpacker with a lot of lightweight gear thanks
> Ninjj- ugh with a gun
offended. I am a backpacker with a lot of lightweight gear thanks
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 57 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,355
@previous (jodie !foster2PAQ)
I would want you on my team. We would both carry guns, ammo, ballistic armor, and tactical gear. I would take the point and you would take the rear.
I would want you on my team. We would both carry guns, ammo, ballistic armor, and tactical gear. I would take the point and you would take the rear.
blom joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 36 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,362
@1,132,335 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
I'm a survival expert thanks. Throw an apocalypse scenario at me.
I'm a survival expert thanks. Throw an apocalypse scenario at me.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,367
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 17 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,372
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
Before I start, what type of zombies are they? Am I allowed to be kitted out or am I caught unaware during the intial wave? Can you describe the forest? What type of ground, tree density, etc? How far away are these zombies? How many?
Before I start, what type of zombies are they? Am I allowed to be kitted out or am I caught unaware during the intial wave? Can you describe the forest? What type of ground, tree density, etc? How far away are these zombies? How many?
(Edited 52 seconds later.)
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,373
@previous (blom)
Slow walking traditional brain eaters. You have a rifle with 10 rounds but there are 30 of them. Tree density is thick, but you are in an open glen. No armor.
Slow walking traditional brain eaters. You have a rifle with 10 rounds but there are 30 of them. Tree density is thick, but you are in an open glen. No armor.
Anonymous B replied with this 5 years ago, 6 seconds later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,374
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 5 years ago, 7 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,379
@previous (B)
Idk. Most likely in the useless category unless you can pitch me on your relevant skills.
Idk. Most likely in the useless category unless you can pitch me on your relevant skills.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,382
@1,132,373 (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
The best survival strategy is to not go in the fucking woods with 10 bullets and no armour. I'm assuming that in your fuck me over scenario I'm a deer hunter who has spent some time in the woods and is unaware of the passing of society.
The slow movement of the zombies is an advantage to me. Even a reasonably brisk pace can outrun one of them.
It would be unwise to engage the deaders in combat. It is of no tactical advantage to do so.
With only 30 deaders, there are going to be significant gaps in their surrounding ring through which I can egress.
So my course of action in this circumstance is a strategic retreat into the forest, avoiding contact with the zombies.
The best survival strategy is to not go in the fucking woods with 10 bullets and no armour. I'm assuming that in your fuck me over scenario I'm a deer hunter who has spent some time in the woods and is unaware of the passing of society.
The slow movement of the zombies is an advantage to me. Even a reasonably brisk pace can outrun one of them.
It would be unwise to engage the deaders in combat. It is of no tactical advantage to do so.
With only 30 deaders, there are going to be significant gaps in their surrounding ring through which I can egress.
So my course of action in this circumstance is a strategic retreat into the forest, avoiding contact with the zombies.
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 5 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,383
@previous (blom)
Ok fine. Now, you exit the forest and find yourself in the parking lot of an Army Surplus store. Great! you think. I can get some gear! You go inside and start rummaging, but 10 of the zombies have followed you, and are now blocking the only exit. What do you do?
Ok fine. Now, you exit the forest and find yourself in the parking lot of an Army Surplus store. Great! you think. I can get some gear! You go inside and start rummaging, but 10 of the zombies have followed you, and are now blocking the only exit. What do you do?
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,384
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
Curse myself for being foolish enough to enter a building and let my guard down without first planning two different exit strategies.
Have they noticed me? Can you describe the general layout of the store? Are they inside the building or outside?
Curse myself for being foolish enough to enter a building and let my guard down without first planning two different exit strategies.
Have they noticed me? Can you describe the general layout of the store? Are they inside the building or outside?
(Edited 1 minute later.)
Anonymous B replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,385
Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU replied with this 5 years ago, 3 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,386
Anonymous B replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,387
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,388
@1,132,384 (blom)
Rectangle, only one front door, they are outside but slowly walking inside. There are aisles of products, and a big wall of guns.
Rectangle, only one front door, they are outside but slowly walking inside. There are aisles of products, and a big wall of guns.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 13 minutes later, 18 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,389
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
Makes sense for the moment to close the door, stay quiet and wait to see if they move on. In the meantime, equip up.
Makes sense for the moment to close the door, stay quiet and wait to see if they move on. In the meantime, equip up.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 29 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,394
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,397
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
How did they get inside when I closed the door? Also classic zombies work with sound, not sight.
How did they get inside when I closed the door? Also classic zombies work with sound, not sight.
(Edited 35 seconds later.)
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 19 minutes later, 19 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,404
@previous (blom)
Ok they heard you in there and crowded the glass door so much that they burst through it.
Ok they heard you in there and crowded the glass door so much that they burst through it.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 1 hour later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,424
Erik !AltRitexT6 joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 23 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,426
@1,132,335 (Fake anon !ZkUt8arUCU)
> Svet - whatever skills he may have will be outweighed by his personality
Fuck off mate. I'm actually a really nce bloke.
> Svet - whatever skills he may have will be outweighed by his personality
Fuck off mate. I'm actually a really nce bloke.
dw joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 13 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,434
I would go to an island and fish
jodie !foster2PAQ replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 21 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,435
@1,132,355 (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
> I would take the point and you would take the rear.
you know I would bb ?
> I would take the point and you would take the rear.
you know I would bb ?
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 21 minutes later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,438
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) double-posted this 5 years ago, 4 minutes later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,440
@1,132,426 (Erik !AltRitexT6)
I would take you on my zombie team. I would get you all coked up and send you in to fight. You also seem like you would be fun to hang out and drink with.
I would take you on my zombie team. I would get you all coked up and send you in to fight. You also seem like you would be fun to hang out and drink with.
Erik !AltRitexT6 replied with this 5 years ago, 14 minutes later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,443
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
Thanks, you would also be first on my team because of the same reasons other than the cocaine obviously.
Thanks, you would also be first on my team because of the same reasons other than the cocaine obviously.
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 6 minutes later, 22 hours after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,444
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,484
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 23 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,507
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 2 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,508
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
I pick up the oozi nine millimeta and blast away like the terminator you want me to say I emulate
I pick up the oozi nine millimeta and blast away like the terminator you want me to say I emulate
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 47 seconds later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,509
@previous (blom)
Ok, you kill them. You stock up on guns and equipment. Carefully, you head out and find a van that runs and has the keys in it.
Ok, you kill them. You stock up on guns and equipment. Carefully, you head out and find a van that runs and has the keys in it.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 5 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,510
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
Its my turn now
You're in your home. The newsreader talks about the zombie menace. The screen reads "the tipping point".
What is your loadout?
Its my turn now
You're in your home. The newsreader talks about the zombie menace. The screen reads "the tipping point".
What is your loadout?
(Edited 13 seconds later.)
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 54 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,537
@previous (blom)
I have a Tavor X95 with 2,000 rounds of 5.56 NATO, a Walther Q5 with 2,000 roudns of 9mm, and a Smith and Wesson .22 also with 2,000 rounds. Ihave a ballistic vest rated a IIIa, and a helmet rate the same.
I have a Tavor X95 with 2,000 rounds of 5.56 NATO, a Walther Q5 with 2,000 roudns of 9mm, and a Smith and Wesson .22 also with 2,000 rounds. Ihave a ballistic vest rated a IIIa, and a helmet rate the same.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 2 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,574
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
You hear a loud crash outside your house. Looking through the window, you see the wreck of your neighbour's car and what remains of your neighbour.
There are two zombies eating his flesh.
You hear a loud crash outside your house. Looking through the window, you see the wreck of your neighbour's car and what remains of your neighbour.
There are two zombies eating his flesh.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 10 hours later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,640
@previous (blom)
I stay inside for now, making sure the doors and windows are locked and I cannot be seen. I have enough emergency food rations to last, say, a week.
I stay inside for now, making sure the doors and windows are locked and I cannot be seen. I have enough emergency food rations to last, say, a week.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 22 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,650
@previous (Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE)
A week passes. The electricity is still working for now, and you spend time on Minichan.org making monkeyroll threads about the zombies. You regularly turn on the television and try to watch the news channels, but flicking through the channels there is only the government's Emergency Alert System broadcast, instructing residents to take shelter and await relief from the armed forces.
On the seventh day, you take stock of your provisions. Since you only stocked enough to last for a week, you're running extremely low on food and water. You have two (2) cans of haricot beans, one (1) bottle of wine, one (1) Army-style MRE and 0.5 gallons of water.
A week passes. The electricity is still working for now, and you spend time on Minichan.org making monkeyroll threads about the zombies. You regularly turn on the television and try to watch the news channels, but flicking through the channels there is only the government's Emergency Alert System broadcast, instructing residents to take shelter and await relief from the armed forces.
On the seventh day, you take stock of your provisions. Since you only stocked enough to last for a week, you're running extremely low on food and water. You have two (2) cans of haricot beans, one (1) bottle of wine, one (1) Army-style MRE and 0.5 gallons of water.
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,653
@previous (blom)
Still me, different device. I look out to make sure my parking is clear, then get in my car and drive first to a grocery store. Planning to his the gun shop after that.
Still me, different device. I look out to make sure my parking is clear, then get in my car and drive first to a grocery store. Planning to his the gun shop after that.
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 21 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,655
@previous (C)
You arrive at the local super-store. Unfortunately the shelves have already been stripped bare. With the advent of JIT supply chains, stores no longer carry more than a day or two's capacity.
Walking through the empty aisles hoping to find something forgotten, you discover a zombie looking into the glass of the wall freezers. It has not yet noticed your presence.
You arrive at the local super-store. Unfortunately the shelves have already been stripped bare. With the advent of JIT supply chains, stores no longer carry more than a day or two's capacity.
Walking through the empty aisles hoping to find something forgotten, you discover a zombie looking into the glass of the wall freezers. It has not yet noticed your presence.
Apocalypse Indy™ !xhnRjOVr7s joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 35 minutes later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,663
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,665
@1,132,655 (blom)
I avoid the zombie. So no food left whatsoever? If so, I proceed to the gun shop.
I avoid the zombie. So no food left whatsoever? If so, I proceed to the gun shop.
(Edited 22 seconds later.)
Apocalypse Indy™ !xhnRjOVr7s replied with this 5 years ago, 1 minute later, 1 day after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,666
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 15 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,811
@1,132,665 (C)
You abandon your search of the store. You feel thirsty. Leaving the building, you discover a huge swarm of zombies! The noise of your engine as you drove to the store has attracted them from all over, and they surround your car.
Several zombies notice you, and begin ambling towards you. Their ghastly moaning is taken up by others.
You abandon your search of the store. You feel thirsty. Leaving the building, you discover a huge swarm of zombies! The noise of your engine as you drove to the store has attracted them from all over, and they surround your car.
Several zombies notice you, and begin ambling towards you. Their ghastly moaning is taken up by others.
Anonymous J joined in and replied with this 5 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,863
> Matt on his way to auto-parry all those zombies.blom replied with this 5 years ago, 2 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,889
@previous (J)
Not in my game, he has to be exact. I let him retcon him having some food supplies but that's the last second chance he gets.
Not in my game, he has to be exact. I let him retcon him having some food supplies but that's the last second chance he gets.
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 4 hours later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,924
blom replied with this 5 years ago, 38 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,935
@previous (C)
Sadly, you were grabbed by several zombies as you tried to wade through them to get to your car to run them over. You sustain several bites to your unprotected arms and neck, and are promptly devoured. You did not survive the apocalypse.
Sadly, you were grabbed by several zombies as you tried to wade through them to get to your car to run them over. You sustain several bites to your unprotected arms and neck, and are promptly devoured. You did not survive the apocalypse.
Apocalypse Indy™ !bYobIzYIFE (OP) replied with this 5 years ago, 11 minutes later, 2 days after the original post[^] [v] #1,132,937
Anonymous C replied with this 5 years ago, 2 months later, 2 months after the original post[^] [v] #1,156,566
Ninjj! I ordered a Monadnock AutoLock® X3™ Heavy Gauge 22" Baton!